Following the result of the US Presidential election on 3 November, 2020, when a majority of voters decided that Donald Trump is a wanker, a majority of the electoral college voted that he is a wanker, and a slew of court cases challenging the findin…
Zoom, the popular online video conferencing company, announced today a new feature with advanced artificial intelligence to let users masturbate without fussing with their camera and microphone settings, making it appear as if they are furiously tak…
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, has cast its shadow over normality again this evening, after the dangerous risk of spreading the virus put paid to the 2020 staging of one of the most eagerly-awaited events in the Japanese social calendar - the Bukkake Wor…
Teen, Gary Crane, while visiting his aunt Martha’s house, was caught taking too long in the bathroom and, to protect her embarrassment, said he was masturbating. ‘There’s a full length mirror in there,’ said aunt Martha, ‘and I sensed he was cove…
A man is trying to sue the government for damages after he alleged he was now suffering from Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) as a direct result of washing his hands so frequently in order to try to avoud becoming a victim of the Coronavirus. Unempl...
The world of football, and of sport, in general, was alive with condemnation tonight for the former Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Southampton, Nottingham Forest, Sheffield United, Barnsley and Wimbledon centre-forward, Neil Shipperley, who, it turns out,...
Grand Rapids, Michigan. Sources confirmed Wednesday that Nathan Harbor, 57, is having profound difficulty masturbating in his newly-purchased home due to the fact that it's severely haunted. The CEO of International Wood Products, Inc. stated t...
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...
"It's a cruel and unnecessary practice, and we need to get a grip on it," said Mr Eric J. Throbbing-Gristle, Chief Inspector of The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "I am talking about the passion for monkey spanking as exhibit...
South Africa's security services have been accused of hacking a politician's phone after a private sex tape emerged. South Africans are gleefully sharing the video on WhatsApp and Home Affairs Minister Mr Gigaba apologised on Twitter to his family af...
Phil Collins is a 67 year old bald man best known for playing drums and sometimes yelping along. He is also an "Incel" or involuntarily celibate person, and he has a message for other Incels like him. "I never lost me virginity nor nuffing until I...
The results of a year-long study on the ancient art of masturbation have been published in this month's completely fictitious science magazine 'Quirky Science Monthly'. Science students at Manchester University recorded data produced by 1,100 part...
Way back in the 1960's when the world officially acknowledged that people did have sex with each other, it caused a "Sexual Revolution" and the rest is history! After roughly 50 years of officially jumping in and out of bed with whoever one wishes...
A website especially designed for men, not women, to avoid masturbating, is gathering in popularity as it offers males inclined to enter the world of 'tossers' a hands-on method of reducing the temptation! It's called, NOFAP, which nobody on the p...
Minneapolis, MN: The Minnesota Department of Natural Resources' "DNR EagleCam Live Stream" was temporarily shut down last night after the video stream showed a male teenage Bald Eagle masturbating. The DNR has been inundated with telephone calls and...
Some thought it would be the stress of becoming the leader of the Free World, handling illegal immigration, badgering from Bernie Sanders or wrangling with the Democrats that would have driven President Donald Trump to take a "nice little rest" in a...
AUSTIN--Gov. Greg Abbott signed into law what the Texas legislature has deemed the "Save Our Sperm Law," which, Abbott said after signing the legislation, "will give voice to the unconcepted among us." The new law (in part an addition to Texas Adm...
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