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Funny story: Grovelling Suarez Apology Dismissed As Damage Limitation By Liverpool FC

Grovelling Suarez Apology Dismissed As Damage Limitation By Liverpool FC

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez today issued a grovelling apology on the club's official website, for refusing to shake Patrice Evra's hand before the game at old Trafford, against Manchester United, which Liverpool lost 2-1 Suarez stated that he ha...

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Funny story: "Handy-man" Suarez refuses to wipe his bum clean!

"Handy-man" Suarez refuses to wipe his bum clean!

Luiz Suarez, "top-sportsman" and not very good "handy-man", who just happens to apply his trade for a club that really should know better employing such ignorant apes (sorry that's an insult to an ape), decided not to wipe his bum clean. In front...

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Funny story: Football Association to introduce Centre of Excellence for Handshaking

Football Association to introduce Centre of Excellence for Handshaking

The English FA today announced a multi-million pound investment in a brand new centre of Handshaking as they admitted that English football has fallen behind the world in pre-match handshaking. FA Director of fence sitting, Sir Trevor Fencing CBE...

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Funny story: Fergie Calls Luis Suarez - "A Disgrace To Liverpool Football Club"

Fergie Calls Luis Suarez - "A Disgrace To Liverpool Football Club"

In an astonishingly outspoken post match interview on Sky Sports, Sir Alex Ferguson branded Luis Suarez: "A disgrace to Liverpool Football Club" and went on to say that Suarez's actions, in refusing to shake the hand of United's Patrice Evra, could h...

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Funny story: Patrice Evra Goes Slightly Mad At Full Time

Patrice Evra Goes Slightly Mad At Full Time

Manchester United defender Patrice Evra went slightly mad at Old Trafford this afternoon, as referee, Phil Dowd blew for full time, heralding a 2-1 win for United over bitter rivals, Liverpool. Two goals from Wayne Rooney in the space of three min...

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Funny story: Carling Cup: Investigation into Welsh team reaching Final

Carling Cup: Investigation into Welsh team reaching Final

Scottish football manager Kenny McDalglish has called on football authorities to investigate how a Welsh team have found themselves to be playing in the English League Cup Final. Liverpool reached the final last week with an aggregate win over Man...

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Funny story: Suarez to have extra english lessons to avoid repeat of race row

Suarez to have extra english lessons to avoid repeat of race row

Luis Suarez is taking extra English lessons to avoid a repeat of his ban for racially abusing Patrice Evra. The Liverpool striker was given an eight-match suspension for calling the Manchester United left back 'negro' and feels the charge came abo...

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Funny story: United Swoop For Suarez After Humiliating Blackburn Home Defeat

United Swoop For Suarez After Humiliating Blackburn Home Defeat

In a desperate bid to shore up his injury stricken squad following a humiliating home defeat to Blackburn Rovers, Sir Alex Ferguson has apparently confirmed that United have signed up Liverpool striker Luis Suarez. This comes as no surprise to ins...

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Funny story: QPR bit by "rat" Suarez

QPR bit by "rat" Suarez

Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League. "Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwa...

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