The long-term.effects of an extended lockdown were widely speculated upon in March, before it actually took place, but nothing had prepared people for what eventually came to pass. Spending more time with one's family is usually something worth ce…
Burglars, petty thieves, filchers and citizens generally accustomed to purloining for a living have had enough. They are to strike as of next Tuesday. "It's getting ridiculous", said Bob Loot, Chairman of the League of Crooks and Pilferers, "peopl…
The Coronavirus lockdown, which started in March, is known to be having a significant effect on people's mental health, as we all get rather too irritable, but one man has become so terminally disillusioned with things, that he's really let himself g…
As calls from the general public to get back to normal, and to return to work continue to gather momentum, Her Majesty the Queen has waded into the row, and given her own personal backing to end the lockdown, saying she, herself, intends to get back…
The writer Brenda O’Lox is being hunted after breaching government anti-lockdown literature regulations. Her online story, ‘I haven’t seen anyone in three months, and also my Rabbit’s batteries are dead’, was regarded as ‘too earnest’. ‘If the sto…
A man who was due to fly back to his native UK later this month has been informed by the carrier that his flight details have been changed, that he will now fly two days early, and from a different country! Moys Kenwood, 57, had been due to fly fr…
A poll of 2,000 adults throughout Great Britain has ascertained that, contrary to popular belief, there is more division in our society than at any time during the whole history of polls. It had been found that, in a similar poll conducted prior t…
The on-off on-off lockdown put in place by the government due to the Coronavirus is set to be scheduled for yet another change, according to reports coming out of Downing Street this morning. All but 'essential workers' were told to "baton down th…
A new Gallup Poll shows that 43% of employees working from home for the Covid-19 lockdown left a gallon of milk sitting out on their desk back in the office. The milk, with an average expiration date of March 28, is just starting to go bad. In ad…
It's not the first business to suffer from the finger of fate during the Coronavirus Lockdown, and it certainly won't be the last, but a shop at the corner of two streets in one man's neighbourhood appears to have closed down at some stage recently -…
Seeing is believing, and lockdown for many means seeing things that one never noticed before. Normally, crowded shopping zones are filled with trendy, swinging designer shopping bags, with the carriers hoping to be noticed by others to boost their sa…
After four months of economic turmoil, in which businesses went bust, bankruptcies went through the roof, and industry and the manufacturing sector were decimated, there was good news at last, today, when it was revealed that crime figures are back t…
It's been difficult, for some people, to find things to do to occupy their time during the Coronavirus lockdown, but one man who took up Yoga has, after a brief struggle, decided that the activity is not really his 'cup of tea'. Moys Kenwood, 57,...
Vera Smythe still hasn't started the painting she has been planning to do for years. The sprightly 73-year-old had always hoped to paint a masterpiece when she had the time, but even though she has been in Lockdown for four months, she still hasn't s…
Stan Bridgewater regrets the set of dumbells that he bought from Argos three days before the country went into Lockdown. 'They just sit there in the lounge, mocking my pipe-cleaner arms. I swore that, by the time Lockdown was lifted, I would be ab…
WASHINGTON DC - The World Health Organization (WHO) has issued an Urgent Situation Update for the Coronavirus Pandemic. The top WHO official, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, warned nations that "the worst is yet to come." Much of the concern came…
Due to the pernicious impact of previous outbreaks of Leicester’s cultural heritage, such as Showaddywaddy, Engelbert Humperdinck, and Gary Lineker, the Prime Minister has said: ‘We’ll have a ring of steel round the place in hours. We can’t let any o…
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