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Funny satire stories about lockdown

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Funny story: Boris Johnson To Announce End Of UK Lockdown

Boris Johnson To Announce End Of UK Lockdown

Coronavirus News: According to a Downing Street source, Prime Minister Boris Johnson will, later this week, announce the government's blueprint for a total release of the UK lockdown that has been in place since Monday 23rd March. "Prime Minister...

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Funny story: Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...

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Funny story: Factory Worker Wants Lockdown To Go On Forever

Factory Worker Wants Lockdown To Go On Forever

A factory operative who has now been at home for six weeks due to the Coronavirus lockdown, has said that he doesn't mind "one bit", and that he hopes it goes on indefinitely. Tatty Mullett, who works at a company making toilet seats, said that, a...

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Funny story: Lockdown Opens Doors for Key Workers

Lockdown Opens Doors for Key Workers

LOCKSMITHS have reported booming sales since the start of the coronavirus pandemic. While many businesses have been struggling during the tight restrictions, key workers have never been so busy. Reg Dwight, owner of key-cutting and lock fitting...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Says UK Lockdown Will Continue Until He, Himself, Is Suffering

Boris Johnson Says UK Lockdown Will Continue Until He, Himself, Is Suffering

The Coronavirus lockdown, which is now six weeks old, and already biting into the financial reserves of many small and medium-sized businesses, is set to continue, says Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who maintains that the arrangement will be kept in...

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Funny story: Family Has Lost All Track Of Time During Virus Lockdown

Family Has Lost All Track Of Time During Virus Lockdown

A family of four who, like everybody else in Britain, have been enduring the Coronavirus lockdown with mounting frustration and irritation, have now been able to add 'confusion' to that list, after admitting to the fact that they had lost all track...

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Funny story: Florida Reopens Hurricane Beach

Florida Reopens Hurricane Beach

There was great excitement of the US right coast this morning, when it was announced that the Florida Beach Authority - the FBA - have decided that Hurricane Beach was to reopen next week. The beach has been closed to bathers, joggers, and those t...

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Funny story: Your Problems Answered: IV

Your Problems Answered: IV

With This Week's Guest Editor: French Symbolist Writer and inventor of Pataphysics ALFRED JARRY Alfred Jarry didn't bottle things up. He expressed himself with abandon, especially in his ludicrous farcical play Ubu Roi, which prefigured the Theatr...

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Funny story: Man Was Wearing Facemask Back-To-Front

Man Was Wearing Facemask Back-To-Front

A man who was just trying to do the right thing, and protect other people from the possible cross-infection of the Coronavirus, has told how staff and other shoppers laughed at him for wearing his facemask back-to-front. Moys Kenwood, 56, arrived...

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Funny story: Some Americans Torn between Left’s Message that Quarantining Healthy People Indefinitely Will Help Everyone and Right’s Message that We Need to Return to Burning Fossil Fuels ASAP

Some Americans Torn between Left’s Message that Quarantining Healthy People Indefinitely Will Help Everyone and Right’s Message that We Need to Return to Burning Fossil Fuels ASAP

Want to do the right thing with regard to COVID-19, but uncertain what that right thing is? If so, you're not alone. Weeks into the coronavirus lockdown, many Americans have found themselves torn between the message they are hearing from the left, th...

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Funny story: Man Ordered Family Out On Military Manouevres

Man Ordered Family Out On Military Manouevres

The patience of a man who has been 'champing at the bit' to get out of his house and do something during the Coronavirus lockdown, finally snapped yesterday, when he ordered his family into 'battle fatigues', and led them on a military-style march th...

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Funny story: Trump Assures Americans that They’ll Be Able to Return to Their Crappy Low-Paying Jobs without Health Insurance Soon

Trump Assures Americans that They’ll Be Able to Return to Their Crappy Low-Paying Jobs without Health Insurance Soon

With the end of the national COVID-19 lockdown in sight, United States President Donald Trump reassured Americans currently unemployed as a result of coronavirus-related business shutdowns that they will be able to return to their crappy, low-paying...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll

Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll

After yesterday's news that UK residents aged over 70 might be required to remain under lockdown until at least the autumn of 2021, a new leak has emerged claiming that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is currently discussing an even more radical plan fo...

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Funny story: Man Considering Going Into Marble Production

Man Considering Going Into Marble Production

A man who has an uncanny sense of identifying social trends just before they happen, has said he is considering setting up a manufacturing works in order to go into full production of small, glass marbles. Marbles is a game of tact and skill tradi...

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Funny story: Man Stocks Up On Underpants During Shopping Visit

Man Stocks Up On Underpants During Shopping Visit

A man who was making a visit to the supermarket to get some essential groceries for his 83-year-old mam, has responded to claims that he was wasting shopworkers' time yesterday - by purchasing underpants. Staff and customers of the Tesco Superstor...

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Funny story: Family of five eaten after local lion-tamer works from home

Family of five eaten after local lion-tamer works from home

Tragedy struck in a quiet East London street yesterday, when a circus lion that was being kept in a garden shed by its keeper killed and ate the man's wife and four children. Lion-tamer, Toby Dell, 42, from Vallance Road, Whitechapel, told a local...

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Funny story: Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

The government's social-distancing advice, given to try to limit the spread of any viruses that might be about, are, on the whole, having a positive effect, but there is one section of the population that is finding it nigh-on impossible to keep away...

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