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Funny story: Apple announce that Mountain Lion downloads top 3 million

Apple announce that Mountain Lion downloads top 3 million

Apple Computers have revealed that Mountain Lion downloads have topped three million in the first week. "I didn't realise that there were that many mountain lions in the world," said head of development, Ellie James. "When I last checked there we...

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Funny story: Cougars Upset Over Amount Of Unwanted Attention The MILF Market Has Brought Them

Cougars Upset Over Amount Of Unwanted Attention The MILF Market Has Brought Them

ISSAQUAH, WA-Cougars, long since held as nature's third coolest cat (behind lions and tigers, respectively), have recently come into a bit of an identity crisis. This is due in large part to the recent branding of 40-somethings who romantically t...

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Funny story: Lion Attack: Quick thinking father saves family

Lion Attack: Quick thinking father saves family

A British father has been applauded for his quick thinking which saved his family from savage, hungry lions in Tanzania. Whilst on the holiday of a lifetime, the Philbin family's tour bus broke down, deep in the Serengeti. As the driver radioed f...

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Funny story: Animal rights activists eaten by lions

Animal rights activists eaten by lions

Disaster struck at the Lady Gaga Memorial Zoo in Los Angeles today, when a group of animal rights activists were eaten alive by lions. The group call themselves Animals Shouldn't Suffer, Help Uncage Life on Earth (ASSHULE) and they are against what t...

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Funny story: Zanesville, Ohio: Look What's New On The Menu!

Zanesville, Ohio: Look What's New On The Menu!

The local police chief in Zanesville, Ohio, the site of the wild animal escape and slaughter has announced that half of the carcasses have been stolen in the dead of night from the Columbus Zoo morgue. At the present time, no one has been incarcerat...

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Funny story: Westerham Heights Man Dies in Sloth Attack

Westerham Heights Man Dies in Sloth Attack

London - The ZSL London Zoo has confirmed that Taber Hemingway was killed quite viciously by sloths. Zoo security and Scotland Yard are still investigating what happened exactly. The security tapes in the Rain Forrest section of the zoo caught the at...

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Funny story: Pressure builds on Lion King as protests spread to Pride Lands

Pressure builds on Lion King as protests spread to Pride Lands

Pride Rock, Pride Lands: Protests that have already rocked African countries including Tunisia, Egypt and Libya have now spread to the kingdom of Pride Lands. The country has been ruled by "Lion King" Simba since a 1994 coup that saw the violent o...

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Funny story: The Curious Case of the Caring Chimps

The Curious Case of the Caring Chimps

It has always been the believe of most humans, that animals, don't have feelings but that myth, was without a doubt blown away recently when a group of chimpanzees, were filmed caring for a dying female chimp, at Blair Drummond Safari Park in Stirlingshire. As the elderly female chimp called Pansy, lay dying others in the group stroked her head and made her comfortable. Her daughter Rosie, even...

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Funny story: Aslan to bid to run East Coast mainline for no profit

Aslan to bid to run East Coast mainline for no profit

Narnia's lion, Aslan, is planning to put in a bid to run a main railway line as a not-for-profit business. The East Coast mainline which runs from London to Scotland via Leeds was nationalised last year after being run by Sauron and the Nine Rider...

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Funny story: Major Hollywood Movie Studio Replaces Their Lion Mascot With A Woodchuck Mascot

Major Hollywood Movie Studio Replaces Their Lion Mascot With A Woodchuck Mascot

HOLLYWOOD - MGM has announced that they are replacing their Leo the Lion studio logo mascot. Leo has been MGM's mascot since 1916. He had gone through several lion generations in his colorful 93 year history but due to the sagging economy and dwin...

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Funny story: Evil Cat Killer To Get Just Desserts

Evil Cat Killer To Get Just Desserts

An evil Glaswegian pervert who killed three cats appeared in court yesterday and will be sentenced next month. The unnamed pervert, a fat bastard who can't find a girlfriend allegedly got his kicks from torturing cats, and in three cases killing them...

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Funny story: Detroit Lions Make Unusual Draft Picks

Detroit Lions Make Unusual Draft Picks

The Detroit Lions, the first NFL team to ever go 0-16 in a season and holders of the worst record over the last eight seasons, had the first pick in this weekend's NFL draft. As a surprise to no one, they chose a quarterback in the first round. The...

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Funny story: Half of Britons Do Not Believe in Evolution; The Other Half Worship Aslan the Creator Lion

Half of Britons Do Not Believe in Evolution; The Other Half Worship Aslan the Creator Lion

On the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles darwin and the 150th celebration of the publication of his Origin of the Species, subjects believed to be members of the British species expressed some interesting views on the beginnings of life on ea...

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Funny story: Lions loss seals worst zoo season

Lions loss seals worst zoo season

London Zoo became the first zoo to lose more than 100 lions for the season after losing 11 lions during the Xmas period. The lions had already sealed the zoo league's worst-ever year with last Sunday's 3 lion loss. They join the 1976 Bristol...

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Funny story: Bush Thrown To The Lions By Christians

Bush Thrown To The Lions By Christians

Today, in Rome, President George W Bush was thrown to the lions by a group of devout Christians. 'It had to happen', the Right Reverend Ludicrus Pompey said, 'Bush had turned our religion into a laughing stock, and not even a very highly-priced s...

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Funny story: Lion Goes Green

Lion Goes Green

WASHINGTON, DC - Leo, a spokesman for the Predators Liberation Organization (PLO) has announced that he has become a vegetarian. Leo has also said that he is encouraging other lions to join him, stating, "The future of the planet is at stake." He...

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Funny story: Zoo Animals Rape & Eat Austrian Sex Freak

Zoo Animals Rape & Eat Austrian Sex Freak

Vienna AUSTRIA, (TS) Josef Pretzl, the Austrian man who fathered seven children with his daughter while keeping her locked up in a subterranean dungeon as a sex slave for 24 years, will plead insanity to avoid a prison sentence.

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