Incompetent buffoon Geoffrey Rivers has said that he wants to be doing his job for the next ten years. Mr Rivers, who works for the local sewage treatment firm, has said that although his work involves things people don't want to think about, he s…
It has been revealed, to no one's great shock or surprise, that leaves are planning to start falling, sometime soon. 'Yes' said leaf Mavis Davis 'we are planning to start falling in a couple of weeks, and some of us will still be in the trees in l…
Associated Press--Details leaked out today that at a support group for anger management for deities, one of its attendees, the Universe, was heard to admit while tearing up that he was “so sorry” for the 689 million people worldwide who still live in…
Atlantic City, New Jersey. Woof Bluster reporting with a SINful report for Spoof International News. Word has reached the HQ for the Miss America Pageant that a contestant in the pageant 70 years ago has upheld her Miss America contract by refusing t…
Call Jaggedone a grumpy old bastard, I do not care, but these 'little' irritating things in our daily lives 'piss me off!' 1) People parking outside of allocated parking places at supermarkets because they cannot fucking walk 2 meters further, an…
The leading educational establishment, the University of Life, has revealed that it has now dropped all of its entry requirements. Lecturer and Spokesman Brick Outhouse said, 'Everybody says that they have been to the University of Life, so we jus…
A man has taken a cue from an episode of 'Seinfeld', and decided that every word out of his mouth, and everyone else's, should end in an exclamation mark! "It's just more fun and exciting to speak and write this way!" Lars Gumpy proclaimed! "Think…
Lucid dreamer, Shane Merryweather, 41, from a small town in the north of England, has revealed that he just can't seem to wake up. 'I have been lucid dreaming for a while - it makes life more bearable - and the erotic dreams I have had would give…
After wrestling into the dark hours of the night with shame, self-abandonment, and bafflement as to what his life even meant, Randy Higgins of Nashville, Tennessee, awakened the next morning feeling a little groggy. “Yeah, normally I jump up brigh...
While others panic over lurking viruses, climate chaos, and the collapse of the economy, long-practicing Buddhist Josh Foster of Nashville, Tennessee, smugly reflected that at least he has the present moment. “I try not to throw it in people’s fac...
“I always felt bad about myself for not realizing my full potential,” said Calvin Doyle of Brooklyn, New York. “But then I realized that I probably had – there just wasn’t much to realize. Hardly anything, in fact.” According to Doyle, the realiza...
One day during his lunch break, Justin Cooley noticed a thin silver coin lying on a sidewalk in downtown Nashville - and was at an utter loss as to how to respond. "I know you're supposed to turn on a dime," he said. "But how the heck do you do i...
"I've never been much of an athlete, so it's not too much of a surprise," said Web Stephens of his fumbling of the game of life. "We can't all be the star quarterback, I guess." As he explained it, Stephens began his life with high hopes, and some...
After decades of pushing for better pay and overall conditions, Mike Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, finally reached an acceptable compromise with reality. “Kind of a laissez faire approach,” said Chapman. “I don’t bother it, and it doesn’t bothe...
Although Ray McGowan of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t like to ruffle feathers or cause offense, he admitted to secretly thinking that the modern world has gone a little crazy. “More than a little, if I’m really truthful,” he said. “Just between yo...
"Everything I've done in life got me to right here, right now, so I've got no complaints," said Harry Fisher of Nashville, Tennessee, consoling himself that there are no "mistakes." "It's all just a question of perspective." Fisher explained that...
It came as a pleasant surprise to Nate Bowen of Nashville, Tennessee, that what he had previously identified as deep depression was, in fact, profound happiness. "My world's a little rocked," said Bowen. "But it's obviously a fortunate turn of eve...
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