Finding that the news had become a real downer, Nate Driscoll of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to distract himself from world issues by focusing on frivolous things - and, to his great delight, found distraction a remarkably achievable state. "Who...
Long identified as a loser by both his friends and himself, Harry Reston of Nashville, Tennessee, serendipitously and nearly simultaneously procured a new house, a wonderful mate, and a much-improved work situation - but in the process lost his lose...
After a lifetime peppered with foolish decisions and boatloads of wasted time, Ben Haldwell of Nashville, Tennessee, vowed to be stupid no nore. "No regrets, but it's time to try something different," sad Ben, who, among other things, had often ex...
Resolving centuries of philosophical debate over the existence of free will, Cody Barrett of Nashville, Tennessee, definitely proved that he hasn’t got it. “It was a blow, especially at first,” said Barrett regarding his discovery of his own lack...
Unwilling to let life pass him by, Jake Gentry of Nashville, Tennessee, attempted to seize the day, or, at least, capture a moment or two, only to find that they all slipped away. “It’s frustrating,” said Gentry of his failed efforts to hold on to...
"Emotionally speaking, I probably could have managed one at the age of six," said Samantha Spring of New York City of the life stage marked by dissatisfaction with and ultimate rejection of the ordinary life which has come to be termed the "midlife c...
Fairbury, Nebraska - A local couple gave birth to their first child Tuesday, and, according to their neighbor, the baby is uglier than shit. The ugly baby was born to Sarah and Michael Austin of Fairbury. Neighbor, Sal Greene, a 65-year-old writer...
Barry Eckingtwhaite, from Basingstoke, was filmed sleeping during a heavy-duty meeting about urinal cakes. The meeting that lasted for more than an hour involved little more than an argument, and Mavis from accounts being asked to find three quotes.
Lionel Bigsby of Brooklyn, New York, decided to stop crying or.yelling about all the stupid and mundane nonsense that came his way, and to laugh over it instead - and has been in stitches ever since. "What does 'in stitches' even mean?" said a cac...
Sam Jones, a sixteen-year-old schoolboy is collecting his G.C.S.E results today, and although he is expected to get good grades, he is more scared of having to repeatedly jump and down for a photographer from the local newspaper The Chutney on the Fr...
Carson Ray, an erstwhile singer-songwriter living in Nashville, Tennessee, stumbled onto a powerfully handy turn of phrase suitable for responding to just about any inquiry or passing remark in, "Oh, ya know." "It works for just about anything," s...
After losing his beloved canine companion of over twelve years, Samson, and realizing just how previous and fleeting life's special moments truly are, Wes Morehouse of Nashville, Tennessee, resolved to make the most of his remaining time on earth by...
After decades of rarely even cracking a smile, serious-minded Brett Carwyle of New York City, someone never known for his sense of humor, finally came to acknowledge the ridiculous nature of life. “It’s a shit-show,” said Carwyle, grinning and sha...
While his intermittent employment, lackluster love life, and standard, sardonic "liivin' the dream" response to any inquiry as to how he's doing have prompted some of his less understanding friends to call him the dreaded "L" word, Max Childers of Na...
Although he has not spoken to her for more than forty years, and she has been happily married to a perfect man for 25 of those, grammar pedant Brian Asshat, 63, still believes that he has a chance with the love of his early twenties, Karen Brassingth...
A man in Chutney on the Fritz has realised that he is actually 'that' man. Brian Asshat, 63 always thought that he was being helpful, but was both shocked and saddened to be told that he wasn't. 'For more years than I care to remember,' said th...
"So many people move here hoping to make it as a professional singer or songwriter and end up becoming disheartened when they never hit the big-time," said career counselor Pam Hardy of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I think we need to change our definit...
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