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Funny story: Casey Anthony & Nancy Grace sued for $3 billion in Illuminati plot

Casey Anthony & Nancy Grace sued for $3 billion in Illuminati plot

ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - Casey Anthony, the Most Hated Woman in America, was acquitted in the murder of her child Caylee who died more than three years ago. Her legal trouble has not ended, not by a long shot. She is still in the middle of a laws...

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Funny story: Taylor Swift arrested for Mann Act violations concerning Conor Kennedy

Taylor Swift arrested for Mann Act violations concerning Conor Kennedy

HYANNIS PORT MA (ABSNN) - Taylor Swift, 22, was indicted this morning by a federal grand jury for violating the Mann Act, after admitting that she drove Conor Kennedy, then 17-years-old, across state lines and the two "engaged in heavy petting, but only outside my tee shirt." "The Grand Jury had two federal crimes from which to choose to indict, Ms. Taylor," said assistant US Attorney William J...

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Funny story: The Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare

The Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare

ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND - In a festival-like gathering, Secret Societies held a conference celebrating the US Supreme Court ruling which effectively terminated use of the judicial system to limit unchecked powers of unelected bureaucrats appointed by...

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Funny story: Skull 'N' Bones crop circle sprouts on Rebekah Brooks' lawn

Skull 'N' Bones crop circle sprouts on Rebekah Brooks' lawn

Chipping Norton - The symbol of Yale University's darkest arts and crafts society has reared its shadowy face outside Rebekah Brooks' Oxfordshire mansion. The cultish secret club has served as foreign conflict tool for President George Bush Senior...

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Funny story: Rumbled: Illuminati plot to conjure up Victoria Cross for Falklands wannabe William

Rumbled: Illuminati plot to conjure up Victoria Cross for Falklands wannabe William

London - An inevitable Hollywood blockbuster has also bombed as a plot by Palace Enlightened Ones upping Prince William to national hero-dom lies on the cutting room floor today. The top secret scam alongside the Argentine military was to have mag...

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Funny story: Illuminati to Boehner - "Don't Be a Flaming Suck-Up"

Illuminati to Boehner - "Don't Be a Flaming Suck-Up"

WASHINGTON, DC - Since George Soros "publicly" took ownership of the US Government in January 2009, organizations such as the Trilateral Commission, Illuminati, and the Bilderberg group have practically flaunted their diabolical manipulation of human...

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Funny story: Now Brussels Illuminati threaten to downgrade British AAA Battery

Now Brussels Illuminati threaten to downgrade British AAA Battery

London - "Bring it on!" was the only comment from a consortium of British producers of the Triple-A carbon-zinc battery threatened with downgrading by EU penpushers. They were joined by manufacturers of the alkaline, lithium and NiMH rechargeable...

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Funny story: The Illuminati made me do it sobs Glenn Mulcaire

The Illuminati made me do it sobs Glenn Mulcaire

London - Accusations that the NewsCorpse private investigator was an Establishment puppet were vehemently denied this weekend by gargoyle-faced Glenn Mulcaire. Named after a notorious Scottish phishing lodge on the banks of Loch Ness the disgraced...

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Funny story: Bavarian Illuminati blamed as E.Coli mutant traced to Plutonium-210 lab

Bavarian Illuminati blamed as E.Coli mutant traced to Plutonium-210 lab

Munich - The secret society's Germ(an) warfare wing has been caught cooking up a lethal new recipe to deal with Euroseptics (sick). Traces of the homegrown genetically modified Eco Lie bacteria have been sourced to a new batch of Plutonium-210, co...

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Funny story: Illuminati groom new Bin Laden

Illuminati groom new Bin Laden

London - A newlywed from the sacred Merovingian line is being fast-tracked to replace Ass-ended Master Osama. Known only by his Emir Will Panic anagram codename the up-and-coming one flopped badly in spearheading the UK World Cup 2018 bid. A sp...

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Funny story: One Nation Under Hex: Wiccans publish alternative history of the US Presidency

One Nation Under Hex: Wiccans publish alternative history of the US Presidency

New York - It's been dubbed Michelle Obama's master grimoire of ovulation rites for dummies - 'something that ex-First Daughter Chelsea Clinton-Lewinsky-Mezvinsky could sorely use right now!' The first print run hit NYC bookstores this morning and...

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Funny story: Wildlife suicide pandemic is nature's protest at royal wedding

Wildlife suicide pandemic is nature's protest at royal wedding

London - (Fawning Fauna Furor): Illuminati mind control experiment technology may be to blame for the tide of animal kingdom protest suicides. This week's global pandemic of bird, fish and crab fatalities is being linked to an electronic sublimina...

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Funny story: Royal coffin UFO 'just a dazzling meteor fireball'!

Royal coffin UFO 'just a dazzling meteor fireball'!

London - (Pie-in-the-Sky Mess): A deep space sarcophagus commissioned by the Illuminati for the death of Queen Elizabeth streaked across British skies at dusk yesterday. Government spin doctors immediately dubbed it 'a Gemenid meteor fireball, heh...

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Funny story: Merovignian line collapse as Harriers booted off Ark of the Covenant

Merovignian line collapse as Harriers booted off Ark of the Covenant

London - (Green & Unpleasant Land News): It's goodbye and bloody good riddance to all that Illuminati bollox as the UK's flagshit carrier is mothballed for posterity. HMS Ark of the Covenant's RIP sees a host of dodgy Navy blue bloodlines scup...

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Funny story: Illuminati rapture as 'missing' crystal skull found in Sir David Attenborough's garden!

Illuminati rapture as 'missing' crystal skull found in Sir David Attenborough's garden!

London - (Artefux): Since the dawn of time the billion year-old amethyst skull has nestled under the foundations of the TV pundit's back side - er...yard! This weekend the London Abasement Company's builders were gobsmacked when a mystery object u...

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Funny story: The Illuminati Are Super Duper Real!

The Illuminati Are Super Duper Real!

Have you ever pondered the notion of a supreme being which controls all that exists in the modern world. No, not god. it's the god damn illuminati again. They control the government, that nigger Obama, and even Jay Z. My cat once took a shit outside the litter box whilst at the same time my fridge broke and I'm pretty sure I saw a UFO so who is that? WHO THE HELL IS TO BLAME!?!?!?! Idk. Bu...

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Funny story: Iceland Responsible For Everything Claims Conspiracy Theorist

Iceland Responsible For Everything Claims Conspiracy Theorist

Whilst everybody is all too painfully aware, Iceland is without doubt responsible for the volcanic eruption which resulted in the grounding of air traffic in northern Europe, but not too many realise that, in fact, Iceland is ultimately responsible f...

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