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Funny story: Long-Lost Child About to Knock on Your Door

Long-Lost Child About to Knock on Your Door

Your Home, USA - Sources have reported that the child you have abandoned years ago is on your front step right now and is gearing up to knock on your door. The child, who was conceived 13 years ago at a Red Roof Inn Motel out by the airport, has t...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Issues Approval For Condoms To Be Used For Entertainment

Pope Francis Issues Approval For Condoms To Be Used For Entertainment

Pope Francis this morning stated that it was permissible for Catholic Clowns to use blown up condoms to make poodles and other small animals out of them. "But no eroticism or use of French Ticklers ot glow-in-the-dark!" The Clowns were overjoye...

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Funny story: Popular Pornography for March 1, 2014

Popular Pornography for March 1, 2014

In this edition of Popular Pornography... ->0 Are Bed Vibrators a Thing of the Past? 0<- Recent reports from cheap, sleazy motels across the nation suggest that the long history of coin-operated bed vibrators may be coming to an end. With the cost going from a quarter to, in some cases, as high as $1.50, the business of shaking mattresses appears to be winding down. Cissy Filler, o...

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Funny story: Israel to Build Huge Disneyland Complex in the West Bank!

Israel to Build Huge Disneyland Complex in the West Bank!

Prime Minister Netanyahu announced at a press conference that Israel plans to build a Disneyland in the West Bank that will be a replica of the Disneyland in California. Reporters had many questions. "Mr. Prime Minister, the West Bank isn't that b...

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Funny story: NSA Supporter Proposes Security Agents in Every U.S. Home to Reduce Unemployment!

NSA Supporter Proposes Security Agents in Every U.S. Home to Reduce Unemployment!

A recent security conference held at Aspen Colorado was sponsored by CNN and emceed by Wolf Blitzer. He opened by saying that he knew how hard it was "to run an operation like this." One of the first to speak was former Attorney General under the Bus...

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Funny story: Obama is no Longer Interesting Enough for Fox News

Obama is no Longer Interesting Enough for Fox News

When the State of the Union rebuttal is drowned out by the speaker touching his face and drinking water it's time to admit, "Talking about liberals is just boring." No one is freaking out enough to watch 24 hour news coverage about fixing bridges,...

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Funny story: Pun Most Definitely Intended for Area Man

Pun Most Definitely Intended for Area Man

HUNTSVILLE, AL--Though initially unsure of the purpose of Brent Gilas' turn of phrase, area man Gabriel Sodhammer was helpfully informed by Gilas' immediate clarification that the play on words was in fact intentional, and not a sequence of words tha...

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Funny story: Truck Driver Devoured by Infestation of Bed Bugs at Local Motel

Truck Driver Devoured by Infestation of Bed Bugs at Local Motel

dc Lampoon offers cheap, cost-effective ways to get rid of bed bugs![/center From what we hear, there are a lot of people out there dealing with the problem of bed bugs. Last week we here at the Lampoon heard a heart breaking story about a 400 pound truck driver who was apparently devoured by an infestation of bed bugs overnight at a Motel in RestonVA.When investigators arrived on the scene all...

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Funny story: Eastwood PR Requests Patience in Responding to Requests for Invisibility

Eastwood PR Requests Patience in Responding to Requests for Invisibility

Harry Cloake, an enigmatic spokesperson for Clint Eastwood's public relations office in Sacramento, notes that since the RNC, incoming requests for invisibility have been increasing geometrically. Mr. Eastwood's heretofore unknown transformational su...

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Funny story: Angry Father Speaks Out Against Huggies Ad Campaign

Angry Father Speaks Out Against Huggies Ad Campaign

Thomas Johnson, a resident of Bartlesville, OK, has decided to voice his opinion in light of the recent Huggies ad campaign depicting loving fathers easily taking care of their children, without the help and supervision of their wives. While some...

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Funny story: Anderson Cooper Gay, Rush Limbaugh Comes Out as Fat

Anderson Cooper Gay, Rush Limbaugh Comes Out as Fat

Rush Limbaugh has finally made it official: He's fat. The conservative radio show host has never publicly confirmed that detail until now, just a day after Anderson Cooper revealed his homosexuality. Limbaugh made the announcement via his Frien...

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Funny story: Learning How to Lobby on Capitol Hill

Learning How to Lobby on Capitol Hill

Congratulations! Your fresh out of collage, and you have decided to embark on a career as a Capitol Hill lobbyist. One of many things that you must always keep forefront in your mind is that you are joining the ranks of an exclusive prestigious club where access is earned through hard work and using your head. There is much to be gained if you are up to the task at hand. The people who you wil...

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Funny story: How to get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks

How to get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks

How to get a free cup of coffee from Starbucks From the Staff of dc Lampoon Times are tough and coffee ain't cheap! So we here at the dclampoon.com have come up with some sure fire methods for you to get your free cup of morning Joe from non-participating Starbucks. The origins of free coffee The origins of free coffee can probably be traced back to some loin cloth wearing native starv...

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Funny story: TIME .. TIME .. TIME

TIME .. TIME .. TIME

HOW TO DIE How to die. That is the question posed by the nation's magazine. But, is it: TIME TO DIE It probably is if you are an establishment news magazine that feeds people propaganda that is no longer believed by people capable of reading for themselves on the internet what is happening. That is why TheSpoof.com says TIME TO LIVE Time to enjoy some humor. SO, forget about dy...

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Funny story: Wanted - Sense of Humour - Custom Made

Wanted - Sense of Humour - Custom Made

Wanted - a Custom Made Sense of Humour tailored to fit. I've searched high and low for a Sense of Humour that would fit me but not make me stand out in a crowd. Merely a tasteful one that would help me 'fit in'. Having tried on many styles of different colours and worn them in public, I found that each time I went out in a 'new sense of humour' some person would find fault with it so I ende...

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Funny story: My musings on humor

My musings on humor

I often think about comedy, and about the funniest people I've run across in my life. I guess they have inspired me to become involved in humor. There are a few and they are varied, but they had one thing in common: their humor was unique, and they made us laugh. By "us" I mean "me." My first comedy mentor was a local TV host named Bobby Harrimer. Every afternoon, around 5pm, he ushered us i...

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Funny story: Wife Doesn't Commit Act Of Treason By Writing A Dull Soap Opera About Food

Wife Doesn't Commit Act Of Treason By Writing A Dull Soap Opera About Food

An unfunny wife today was charged with treason by the Unfunny Committee of Unamerican Lack of Humor for daring to drone on and on about chilli peppers, about as interesting as anything else that is American, i.e. not interesting at all. 'I had jus...

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