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Funny satire stories about heart attack

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Funny story: Billy Mays Killed by Stain that Won't Go Away

Billy Mays Killed by Stain that Won't Go Away

ORANGE GLO, FL - Superstar of the infomercial world Billy Mays was pronounced dead this morning at his home in Orange Glo, Florida. The shouting spokesman, 50, was reportedly trying to remove a particularly stubborn stain from his carpet when he s...

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Funny story: Santa suffers heart attack, lightens mood before surgery

Santa suffers heart attack, lightens mood before surgery

ANCHORAGE, AK - Saint Nicholas suffered a massive coronary thrombosis near the end of a strenuous delivery schedule this Christmas. Ignoring his doctor's repeated advice to watch his diet, the jolly old elf loaded up on milk and cookies while en rou...

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Funny story: Heart attack plan 'to save mone....erm...lives'

Heart attack plan 'to save mone....erm...lives'

The UK government announced via the medium of dance today that they are going to introduce a 'cold standard' of treatment in London for heart attack patients. 'We've given up really' said Health Minister Lord Arid Carzi. "In London alone, a 5% c...

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Funny story: Stayin' Alive can Kill You Softly

Stayin' Alive can Kill You Softly

Atlanta, GA - The Center for Musical Disease Control in Atlanta has announced that the Bee Gees' hit song "Stayin' Alive" has one of the best beats for performing CPR. The song played during John Travolta's famous dancing scene in Saturday Night...

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Funny story: Prediction markets now betting big on McCain coronary

Prediction markets now betting big on McCain coronary

Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Psychic Mess): Dow Jones-listed internet bookmaker Aintgottaprayer.con has reported a (Wailing) wall of money for GOP presidential wannabe John McCain having a fatal coronary ahead of the 4 November election. The spread-bet...

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Funny story: Cheney Undergoes Heart Tests - None Found

Cheney Undergoes Heart Tests - None Found

Washington, DC - Vice President Dick Cheney was rushed to hospital today when it was feared that he suffered a heart attack. According to unofficial reports, Cheney stopped to donate a dime to a homeless person camped outside his White House offi...

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Funny story: Uncle Sam Has a Heart Attack

Uncle Sam Has a Heart Attack

Wall Street Journal, September, 2008: Our favorite Uncle Sam suffered a Coronary heart attack this week. He was immediately rushed to the emergency room at Washington DC General Hospital. Dr. Bush the resident emergency room physician diagnosed th...

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Funny story: Man with large pot-belly can't see his feet. Suffers heart attack!

Man with large pot-belly can't see his feet. Suffers heart attack!

A man with an enormous beer-belly has suffered a heart attack after he looked 'down' to check if his shoe lases were untied, but was instead confronted by his enormous belly staring back at him. In a frantic attempt to make sure his feet were still t...

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Funny story: Cookie Monster dies of Heart Attack

Cookie Monster dies of Heart Attack

The entertainment world today collectively mourned the passing of a giant of children's television - Cookie Monster. Cookie was found slumped on the floor in his kitchen, after apparently suffering a massive heart attack. He was 57.

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Funny story: Cheney dead, resuscitated: 'I regret so much'

Cheney dead, resuscitated: 'I regret so much'

Vice President Dick Cheney collapsed Sunday morning while taking a shower. "Luckily he carries a panic button," said his doctor. "He was dead several minutes before we got to him."...

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