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Funny story: £1bn Upgrade For British Army's Generals

£1bn Upgrade For British Army's Generals

In a week when the government has announced a £1bn upgrade of the Army's fleet of Warrior armoured vehicles, it has also revealed that the Army is to spend a similar amount upgrading its senior officers. Defence Secretary, Phillip Hammond explaine...

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Funny story: Global financial crisis a 'banking error'

Global financial crisis a 'banking error'

President of the International Monetary Fund Patsy Laggard has admitted that the Global Financial Crisis is a banking error. Speaking from her Washington DC office Ms Laggard explained: "Mai oui, but yes, we are vereee soreee, we made a beeg...

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Funny story: USA Unfurls New Flag

USA Unfurls New Flag

The new National Flag of the United States was unveiled to a packed audience of international journalists during a press conference at the White House in Washington today. The new flag is the result of a 24 million dollar, five year study by an al...

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Funny story: Financial Meltdown in Prospect as Panic Takes Hold

Financial Meltdown in Prospect as Panic Takes Hold

In the face of global panic, stock market analysts today warned of further problems to come. "This is no doubt a serious situation," warned fiscal analyst Hernst Sprank, of Deutsch Bank Der Bolloks "for sure, there has been a 62.3% rise in the mea...

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Funny story: Biggest Ever Disaster Movie On The Way

Biggest Ever Disaster Movie On The Way

Warner Brothers U.K. have announced to the world that the biggest ever disaster movie is due to hit the big screens later this year. The publicity material released by Warner Brothers makes exciting reading : You screamed at 'Last Day' in 1999 You thrilled at 'The Day After Tomorrow' in 2004 You were terrified by 'Meltdown: Days of Destruction' in 2006 But you ain't seen...

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Funny story: Nicholas Cage bankrupts Dubai

Nicholas Cage bankrupts Dubai

The Dubai stock market plummeted yet again to a record low yesterday amidst fears it's majority investor and financial advisor, Hollywood actor Nicholas Cage has unwittingly outspent both China and America combined. Dubai, once considered the econ...

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Funny story: Japan's Finance Minister Totally Smashed

Japan's Finance Minister Totally Smashed

Japan's finance minister is facing calls for him to resign amid claims he was drunk at a recent G7 meeting. Shoichi Nakagawa has apologized for his behavior but blamed cold remedies for a slurred performance at a news conference in Rome at the wee...

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Funny story: New Negative Interest Rate Shock

New Negative Interest Rate Shock

The Bank of England has again cut interest rates to a new record figure. At minus 1.5%, it means that money will, for the first time in banking history, be deducted from savings and investment accounts. Although savers will be adversely affected, t...

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Funny story: eBay up for sale

eBay up for sale

San Jose, CA - eBay Inc admitted today that it had put itself on the market following a unanimous decision by the board to step down to pursue philanthropic enterprises. Ebay's share price rallied by over 18% with the news, but dropped and steadie...

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Funny story: Barclays' secret payment secrets

Barclays' secret payment secrets

Rumours circulating in parliament this morning suggested that the British Government has contacted the board of Barclays Bank demanding an immediate explanation on recent bonus payments. It follows revelations in today's papers that Barclays had pa...

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Funny story: Vorderman to Front Tory Numeracy Initiative

Vorderman to Front Tory Numeracy Initiative

Former Countdown presenter Carol Vorderman has been hired by the Conservatives to front their new fiscal policy team, we can exclusively reveal. A spokesman for David Cameron said that the brunette brainbox was taking time out of her hectic schedu...

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Funny story: December Mortgage Figures Show 'Recovery'

December Mortgage Figures Show 'Recovery'

The financial sector has hailed the first green shoots of recovery, following the surprise announcement that mortgage approvals had unexpectedly risen for December 2008. The rise, announced by the Bank of England today, shows that mortgage lending...

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Funny story: Zimbabwe To Trade In Buttons

Zimbabwe To Trade In Buttons

Zimbabwe, the funny little African country where inflation triples every five minutes, has abandoned its currency, and will, from tomorrow - or maybe even tonight - trade in buttons. President of Zimbabwe, the Dr Robert Mugabe, announced the chang...

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Funny story: I borrowed my way out of debt!

I borrowed my way out of debt!

Gordon Brown today announced that the common belief that "two wrongs do not make a right" is actually false. The UK has plunged itself into a debt fuelled recession following years of increasing personal debt. Many of the UK's problems were cause...

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Funny story: US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"

US stocks fall even as brokerage firms issue kill tags and consider death for use of the word "recession"

US stocks dropped across the board Monday after a US banking giant announced a massive Wall Street cull with a record 250,000 broker 'kill' permits issued amid concerns of a deepening you-know-what. The firm said that it hoped to eliminate about...

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Funny story: World financial meltdown crisis: God is punishing 'dark lands overrun by homosexuals' says Rev Pat Robertson

World financial meltdown crisis: God is punishing 'dark lands overrun by homosexuals' says Rev Pat Robertson

Scotland - (Holy Ass Mess): Ex-HBOS deputy CEO Sir Peter Burt spoke today about how former wannabe business partner Rev Pat Robertson warned him about the Almighty's wrath 'on those dark lands overrun by homosexuals'. "At the time he was referring...

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Funny story: Financial collapse inspiring taxidermists

Financial collapse inspiring taxidermists

The recent implosion of international banking institutions has been welcomed by one section of the community: taxidermists. These denizens of animal dermatology are only too happy to advise victims of the credit squeeze to get stuffed. Recommendi...

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