Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said today that President Obama was willing to look at a tax on 4 hour erections caused by Cialis or other erectile performance drugs. Noting that the new health care bill includes a tax on discretionary personal bo...
CHICAGO, IL -- A Forest Lakes accountant, Mortimer Schwartz, is suing a plastic surgeon for medical malpractice claiming the doctor caused him a permanent condition of erectile maximus syndrome (PMS). After seeking medical assistance for his ere...
*Not just Hollywood! - From the people who brought you the TENS units (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator) now comes the invention of the new century! It's the battery operated penis tingler that brings on an erection within thirty second...
A Chinese journalist caused controversy at a recent press conference when he asked Gordon Brown: "When you think you will have an erection?" After the laughter had stopped, Mr Brown replied carefully. "That will happen when the time is ready. I...
Most congressional leaders missed the verbal and visual cues while standing in the oval office during the historic signing of the health care bill, but President Obama admitted that he was "hard" while talking about the process of significant change.
New York - Former Vice President Al Gore got an erection during an event to raise awareness about global warming, sources said. While delivering his 40,000th interminable lecture on global warming, Gore noticed a hottie in the crowd and began to d...
A new study coming out tomorrow in the New York Constitution will show that male office workers have a hard time with erections. "Our study shows that a newly hired sexy lady placed only one full day in an office causes male productivity to go dow...
For many years, people have accepted the theorom "the angle of the dangle is equal to the heat of the meat." A government sponsored research group at M.I.T., after three years and at the cost of over four hundred million dollars, has proven this to...
INTERCOURSE, PA - Sexologists at the teaching hospital of Bonair University have announced their findings that engaging in sexy activities work just as well toward achieving an erection as taking Viagra or Levitra, and without the unpleasant side-eff...
A seventy-eight year old man in Louisburg, NC has reported that after taking erectile dysfunction medicine, he has regularly experienced a four hour erection. Warnings about this condition appear regularly on the TV ads regardng this and other ED med...
The modern phenomenon of anal erections is on the increase according to top scientist at a university. It is just one more side effect of genetic modification in our food that we shall all have to learn to live with. Another scientist in another u...
Dear Fr. Francis, I am thirteen-years-old and have been having a problem in school. It's really embarrassing, but since you're a priest and can't tell anybody what I say in confession, I'll tell you what's going on. There's this girl in my class, whose name I won't mention. Anyway, Alice sits behind me in class. She's really pretty, too--tall and slender, with chestnut colored hair and am...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - While dropping off his latest spoof about gay-ass fudge packers at the pool, The Spoof's reigning champion of toilet humor reportedly became so aroused, he experienced an erection lasting more than four hours! Prostate speciali...
While many people are sick or have died from Swine Flu, the survivors have noticed one side effect of this disease: longer, harder, and more frequent erections. Announcement of this by the World Health Organization (W.H.O.) has caused men of all age...
Belfast, Ireland - A husband and wife scientific team is credited for the development of a "sex spray" after suffering from the condition of premature ejaculation firsthand themselves. Despite their successful joint collaboration on the project, howe...
Washington,DC/ Office of the Surgeon General - A man with no formal education, and little to recommend him, found employment with the Federal Government today when it was brought to the attention of the Speaker of the House that the man was suffering...
Researchers have placed reports on worldwide net websites about three boys in southwest Michigan who are exhibiting mammoth boners. The odd part of the story is that the reports do not come from sex researchers or even urologists but can be traced ex...
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