"You need to always treat your kids special as one day they could be in charge of you and decide where they put you to get you out of your (their) house." That's what the guy told us at a company meeting. So I ran home and bought my kids an ant fa...
A car dealership in Maryville, Tennessee is suing a rival car dealer for $500,000 in lost income and auto damage as well as causing the workers there to risk their lives by working and the clean-up details. Hardin's GMC and Hyundai Auto Dealership...
On Today's Meet The Press there was a discussion of why Pope Francis was chosen to be Time magazine's Man of the Year and appear on its cover. Host David Gregory stated that Time had also considered Edward Snowden, who worked for a company that was...
DISNEYWORLD, FL - Now that obesity has been declared a disease, Disney World is reopening its Habit heroes exhibit. The "innovention" was closed down, supposedly for "repairs," after parents and educators alike condemned the attraction for "shaming"...
Moustaches suspected of being infected with the killer tash die-back fungus have been found in privately owned facial hair in many parts of Norfolk, Scotland and Wales. The potential that outbreaks of the fungus have been found in home-grown moust...
Further deaths from an outbreak of Rionnaires' disease are highly likely, doctors warned yesterday. The recent outbreak is centred on Heathrow, and the number of confirmed cases rose to 157 (although some have been lost). And there are still thous...
A man in Spain is receiving treatment in hospital after an angry mob of Cucumber farmers descended on his home and forced him to move out of the village. Local Farmers accuse Hector Julio Fernandez of contaminating their cucumber stock with e-coli...
COVENTRY, W. MIDS., ENG. - A local secondary school has caused the entire Coventry city area to be put on lockdown after a new mutation has caused a harmless bacteria to morph into a pathogen. The pathogen classified as X/11-G, after the room (X)...
"Birthers" and other critics of U.S. President Barack Obama are upset that his birth certificate revelation this week has shut down their arguements and conspiracy theories. Undaunted, the group is seeking other avenues to remove "this country's wor...
Scientists from Harvard and Boston have announced a potential breakthrough in the fight against malaria. This has resulted in yet another 'proof' of 'evolution' being consigned to a toilet which is by now needing a good rodding out. Scientists...
Those nearly one hundred guests at a big party last week at the Playboy Mansion, who were previously thought to have come down with Legionnaires Disease, do not all have it according to a Doctor Harold Linsberg who is in charge in finding the cause...
Scientists at Manchester University of Science and Technology have asked that the phrase "Clean as a Whistle" be changed to Clean as Anything Other than a Whistle after a month long study into the bacteria that grow inside whistles. "Whistles are...
A new fashion craze is sweeping the country faster than the Black Death, with the potential consequences being quoted as 'equally as disastrous.' Those most in danger are teenage boys and young adult men, who are being targeted by High Street stores...
An Ode to a Certain Malevolent Maladie on the Occasion of a Major Epidemic that has Acquired a Pathogenicity that Imperils Mankind Across the Globe and May Destroy Civilization as It Is Known to Us Presented in Its Entirety by the Poet Laureate on the Mundane, the Preposterous, and the Absurd: Sir Percival Blink, Esq. to His Most Excellent, Gracious Majesty, Humbert II, as He Succumbs to Ye Ol...
Half of the UK's workforce ground to a halt today, including yours truly, as the population were confined to beds. Manflu, also known as "Extremely Fatal Disease" to men, and "Non-existent phenomena for a day off" to women, struck us all down, lea...
Shock as a deadly new disease promises to cause thousands of sore heads; a million runny noses and an excuse for pupils to skive school: Pope Flu is heading for the UK. The deadly new flu is thought to have begun after the Pope was seen coughing d...
NEWBY NATURE NOTES: by Billy Murray What do birds and bats have in common? Eyes. Birds enjoy flying around and not bumping into things, but bats don't use their eyes for the same purpose. Bats use a type of radar in order to achieve the same result. However, since the discovery of the white-nose syndrome in bats found living in Newby village, Isle of Wight, there is a possiblity...
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