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Funny story: Michele Bachmann Denies The Rumors Linking Her With Matt Damon

Michele Bachmann Denies The Rumors Linking Her With Matt Damon

DUBUQUE, Iowa - Michele Bachmann's campaign tour brought her to the beautiful town of Dubuque, Iowa, [Pronounced: THE-BUICK-EYE-OH-WAH]. The only GOP female candidate for office of the presidency was all smiles as the sun was shining and she was a...

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Funny story: A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup. Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to...

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Funny story: Michele Bachmann Strongly Suggests That Iraq Become Our 51st State

Michele Bachmann Strongly Suggests That Iraq Become Our 51st State

INDIANOLA, Iowa - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour pulled into Indianola, Iowa, home of Indianola Indian Corn Tortilla Mix. She was greeted in the parking lot of the local Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck Chicken Shack by a crowd...

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Funny story: Disgruntled Chicken Faces Uncertain Future on Michigan Farm

Disgruntled Chicken Faces Uncertain Future on Michigan Farm

An unhappy chicken on Jackson Farm in Crump, MI, has gone on an egg-laying strike to protest the quality of her evening feed, according to U.S. agricultural officials. Twinkie, a red speckled hen who has produced over 300 eggs for local consumption in the past year, is dissatisfied with the new, cost-efficient feed formula recently introduced by Farmer Tom Jackson. The formula, which includes...

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Funny story: Bar Patron's Urine Magical Juice for Prolific Corn Plant

Bar Patron's Urine Magical Juice for Prolific Corn Plant

A single corn stalk plant that is growing in front of a tavern in Mason City, Iowa was discovered to have 27 ears of corn growing on it-that is approximately 25 ears more than any other average corn stalk has growing on it in a growing season. The...

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Funny story: New genetically modified corn tastes like shit

New genetically modified corn tastes like shit

USDA was horrified to learn the taste-test results of over 400 volunteer tasters who participated in a modified corn cook off last weekend in Heart, Kansas. Mildred Hogg, a 56 year old Kansas farmwife, had this to say about sample A217, "That sure...

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Funny story: Corn-gas powered concept car awarded federal grant

Corn-gas powered concept car awarded federal grant

Washington DC - The Rhind Corporation, according to it's spokesman Dr. Artfay, was awarded a 3.3 billion dollar grant to develop a prototype corn-gas powered car. The car is sustainable and is fueled by natural gas. The gas is renewable, and need n...

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Funny story: Horror In Argentina As GM Crops Attack Farmer

Horror In Argentina As GM Crops Attack Farmer

In what is thought to be the first such incident of its kind in Latin America, GM crops are being blamed for an unprovoked attack on a 58-year-old farmer in Argentina.

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Funny story: Price of corn, elephant eyes very high

Price of corn, elephant eyes very high

You've heard the saying 'where corn is as high as an elephant's eye.' It used to refer only to the height of corn particularly in Iowa. But the saying is also holding true for the price of corn and the price of elephant eyes.

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Funny story: Corn Crisis

Corn Crisis

Washington DC, June 15, 2016: King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has requested a meeting with President McCain concerning the high price of a bushel of corn. Dubbed the Geriatric Summit, these two leaders will meet at Camp David next week...

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Funny story: Environmentally friendly ballots will disappear within four days of use

Environmentally friendly ballots will disappear within four days of use

Researchers at the Iowa University of Science and Corn are working to develop environmentally friendly ballots, which can literally disappear within four days of use, and expect them to be available in time for the November presidential elections.

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Funny story: Study Reveals Candy Corn Digests Better Than Real Corn

Study Reveals Candy Corn Digests Better Than Real Corn

Washington, D.C. -- The federal government released the results of an eight-month study into the digestibility of candy corn today.

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Funny story: Lessons I Have Learned from My Son

Lessons I Have Learned from My Son

I seem to have a stubborn streak in me that wants to do everything without asking the man upstairs for help. In my opinion, God really does not care if I have corn, peas, lima beans, or green beans with dinner, so I should not waste his time asking. Generally, minor sniffles or 24 hour bugs do not require religious blessings, fasting by family members, or hours spent on my knees; these petty tri...

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Funny story: American Idol: An Open Love Letter To Fantasia

American Idol: An Open Love Letter To Fantasia

Dearest Fantasia: Damn baby. I met you at Sam’s BBQ and Grill in Rancho Cucamonga lat year. I couldn’t get a word in side ways because you preferred the corn bread to my one-liners. That’s all right though, I kinda like to hit the corn bread myself every now and then. So what’s up with the high pitched voice? Yeah, you’ve got that Macy Gray thing going on. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! My walls are all...

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