The 33 miners trapped in a Chilean copper and gold mine for almost ten weeks, are to feature in semi-nude, provocative poses in the Daily Star newspaper, readers have been told. This comes after the tabloid comic published a story in its Monday ed...
ECOVATIONS, an Obama stimulus-backed company in North Carolina specializing in locating new energy sources, announced today that they had located a massive new energy source in Chile, near the site of the recent mine disaster. The new gas, called...
"Don't worry lad's, help is on the way" was the inspiring message as Britain's last remaining mine rescue team drove down to Heathrow airport in their Morris Marina. The team consisting of Mr Kevin Smally and his dowdy wife Sharon expect to be in...
The last few of the miners were freed today, and then the BFNN News network camera crew fell into the mine, including they're journalist, Cindy Cobwell. Nobody was seriously hurt. "All I could do when it happened was... laugh" says Andy Cobwell,...
Cable television rebel without a cause to blather on about, Nancy Grace quickly picked up on the story from the Atacama Desert where Chilean Minors had been recently arrested at a bar near the town of Calama. "It's simply and unequivocally a moral...
Florencio Avalos, the first of the heroic Chilean miners to be rescued, has told of his burning desire to get back down the pit. Following 69 days trapped underground in the San Jose mine, many would think his ambition insane but not brave Florenc...
Copiapó, Chile (UPI) In a move that surprised many, several of the miners recently rescued asked to be returned their prior residence, a cavern a mile under the surface. Complete English translations from the Chilean Spanish that the miners speak were not available at the time of this writing, but those familiar with both languages said that the miner's explanations were well represented by thi...
Chelsea Hotel (MP) - The Churlish Captain Capitalism & Executive Sidekick, Dale the Driller, saved the Chilean miners using their free-market super hero tools. "It needs to be said," stated The Captain, "The rescue is a smashing victory for free...
Shock today as a mass eviction has effectively ended the Big Brother mine programme once and for all. President Sebastian Pinera joined Divina Macall as all 33 of the Big Brother "miners" basically won after a vote rigging scandal centered on the Cat...
There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that President Barack Obama had the CIA create the disaster in Chile, to put TV focus on Chile, and not on the political races. During that blackout, there has been quite a "swing" in the political races. Dem...
Osama Bin Laden sat in his tent puzzled. 'Why did those infidels go miles down into a mine to save people's lives?' he pondered 'surely it is the will of Allah to go down holes in the ground and blow people up.' As millions were overjoyed at seeing lives saved by amazing feats of engineering and courage Osama was annoyed that this took attention away from the martyrs who had descended into the...
Already, one of the Chilean miners has started to show signs and symptoms of severe PTSD. Within hours of being brought to the surface, Senor Pablo Houdini was experiencing cold sweats, tremors in his hands and an overwhelming sense of fear and anxie...
As the last of the miners emerged blinking into the world above and are propelled into worldwide stardom, bosses at Channel 4, looking for something to replace Big Bother, sat up and took notice of the twenty-four hour coverage of the rescue. Rapi...
At 10:50 p.m. this evening, the last of the 33 Chilean miners who've been taking an extended coffee break underground since their mine collapsed on Aug. 5 was hoisted to the surface. Sadly, the hope, the happiness, los sueños of the miners was das...
As the civilised world revelled in the news that the 33 Chilean miners have been delivered safely from their 700m subterrainean hell after 70 days, reports are coming in that one person is not at all pleased. Insiders claimed that ex-British Premi...
As Martin Hernandez Gomez, the last of the Chilean miners to be brought to the surface has been forced back down the rescue hole. Cameras were checked as Gomez came to the surface, and he had left the TV and all the lights on. Gomez had persuad...
How long before one of the miners brought up from the jaws of hell is asked, "Honey, take the garbage to the basement?" Never. From South Africa to Australia to Norway to Japan, the whole world watched and waited wondering if it would work, and...
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