Processed meat causes cancer! We were so shocked when we read (skimmed it and looked for pictures) the report, through a haze of Shisha smoke, we were outraged. We quickly like two cigarettes each to calm our nerves and called up the most sciency sci...
New York - The Oscar-winning producer of One Blue Over The Cuckoo's Nest famously blamed his now-cured throat cancer on a bout of dodgy oral sex in a 'tasteless' quip that wife Catherine Zeta Jones said had left her feeling uncomfortable and down in...
HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
Orono, Maine - Medical researchers at the University of Maine have discovered the long-sought cure for cancer. According to lead researcher Dr. Emma Kingston, the cure was so amazingly simple, they don't understand how someone didn't find it before...
A report on The Bilderberger meeting which concluded recently somewhere on a farm . The provisional offerings for accommodation on the farm were The Chicken Shack, or one of the many outlying buildings and stables, which were categorized under "Shack and Or". The Chicken Shack is by far the largest building, as the farm's main business is rearing fat chicken's for underweight Americans. Of t...
New York - "It's what guys of 69 channel when bi-polar wives are safely tucked up inside rehab," was one explanation this weekend as the Michael Douglas oral sex cancer story broke. The actor was quoted in a UK broadsheet describing how a walnut-s...
Angelina Jolie's breasts, removed in a double mastectomy when the American actress tried to beat the threat of cancer, have vowed to remain in the film industry despite the painful break-up last week. Both breasts claimed to have been inundated with...
ATLANTA, GA-In response to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong's admission that he had used performance-enhancing drugs, the American Cancer Society announced today that it had stripped Armstrong of his 1997 victory over cancer, and the 42-year-old...
A new study has studied that smacking can lead to cancer! Shock and horror would be two of the emotions Back and to the Left news would be feeling if we could indeed feel human emotions anymore. But with scientists discovering a link between cancer a...
Ozzy's House - Following the lead of his wife who cut off her breast to prevent cancer, Ozzy has had most of his brain cut out in a bold attempt to prevent Alzheimer's. His wife had this to say. "I think it has really improved his disposition. He...
In 2008 Del Monte sold StarKist Tuna to South Korean food giant the Dongwon Corporation which exports tuna to the United States and the world. According to the Supreme Court of the United States of America and Mitt Romney corporations are people. Can...
London - Telltale signs of poor oral hygiene are emerging in the latest report into treatable cancers. A Royal College of Swabbologists survey has discovered traces of bacteria, viruses and parasites commonly found in the ubiquitous doner and shis...
As part of its ongoing mission to improve quality of care while lowering health care costs, New York Presbyterian Hospital recently announced that it was adopting a radical new treatment methodology for post-operative cancer patients: cross fingers a...
ATLANTA, GA--In what is already being hailed as one of the most depressing pieces of news in weeks, the Centers for Disease Control have rolled out their annual list of leading causes of death for 2011, and it appears that neither cancer, nor heart d...
LONDON-In what is being hailed as the most significant news since the death of Osama Bin Laden several months ago, which in itself was the biggest news since the royal wedding a couple days before that, the royal couple has dumbfounded scientists the...
In Parliament today, angry protestors pushed their way through security pulling a hose from a tanker truck filled with thousands of gallons of industrial silicone. The kind alledged to be in thousands of breast implants in thousands of women. The...
A newly published study in medical journal The Lancelot reveals that Italian males are 60% more likely to suffer from gesticular cancer than any other national group. The condition was also found to be more prevalent in regions with Italian immigrat...
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