Esteemed space pervert Prof Steven Hawkins has been under investigation by animal rights groups. The shock revelation comes as no surprise as the prof has been on a downward spiral of self destruction that would put Charlie sheen to shame. Hawkins...
WASHINGTON - Black holes: "They're the most destructive monsters in the universe. We already knew they can be powerfully massive. Now scientists say they have found the most massive ones yet; as reported in The Billingsgate Journal of Natural Sci…
Scientists at the University of Berkeley, California, have made an amazing discovery; God lives in a black-hole in a galaxy far away called NGC4889. The other God better known as A+++h (name changed for political reasons) also lives in a massive b...
NASA - Astronomers have discovered a pair of supermassive black holes in the twisty, spiral brain of former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, NASA said Wednesday. Approximately 160 million light years from Earth, Ms. Palin is the nearest known such ph...
The so-called Large Hadron Collider, buried deep underground somewhere in Switzerland finally proved its worth yesterday when at 4.21 pm in the afternoon (GMT) it collided with a large hadron. A loud cheer rang through the echoing caverns - this w...
Scientists fear that today's football match between Liverpool and Manchester United will not be seen by anyone. They are concerned that the game is so massive that no light will escape from Anfield - the home of Liverpool. Said a science inside...
The latest in a long line of media-hysteria-baiting scientific devices is due to be activated this week. Scientists at CERN, near Geneva, ever sensitive to uninformed histrionic bellowing from the press about machines such as The Large Hadron Collid...
Britney Spears, the starlet turned trailer trash, has been accused of inadvertently opening up a huge black hole in her own home in Los Angeles. Fernando Flores, her now ex-bodyguard, has filed a lawsuit against the fallen star, for endangering hi...
It has been a long held belief that, apart from the hypothetical Hawking radiation, black holes emit nothing. However, a new mathematical model from theoretical cosmological physicist Jan Anity, has shown that one other thing can escape the phenomena...
According to the Home Land Security office Moehavmudd Soilyuself, A Turkish terrorist entered the country in a suicide bomber mission, He arrived at Birmingham international airport in Alabama last week. From there, he was suppose to meet his accompl...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Astronomer Joe Camelopardalis says he'd travel a light year for a Cancer stick, and one of these days, it will probably be cheaper to do exactly that. Nicotine junkies across the nation are hoping the Obama administration aband...
World famous physicist, Stephen Hawking, is undergoing his most difficult challenge to date, learning to drive. Hawking, who is severely affected by Motor Neurones Disease will control the specially adapted Vauxhall Corsa in a similar way to how...
DETROIT, Michigan -- Scientists have discovered what appears to be the first known black hole resting near the automotive center of the Milky Way Galaxy. It apparently resides in a region known as the Big Three Halo, a vast sphere of sparsely populat...
Black holes in outer galaxies have been observed releasing ginormous amounts of fiery gases and scientists at the end of gigantic telescopes are convinced they are "farting"! Adding a human touch to outer galactic happenings seems a logical manner...
The Los Angeles Chapter of the NAACP is demanding that Hallmark Cards pull a greeting card from the racks. Saying that the "black hole" depicted on the card could be mistaken for a "black ho," it furthers the impression that African-American women ar...
Hundreds of black holes left over from the early universe may wander the Milky Way, according to new calculations. These rogue black holes are thought to have originally lurked at the centers of tiny, low-mass brains. Over billions of years, relat...
A massive Black Hole (the size of Whitney Houston's nostrels) has been flung out of a distant galaxy by it's mother Black Hole (the size of Whitney Houston's pussy after Bobby Brown left it). Observed by the US Chandra space observatory the massiv...
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