Detroit, Michigan - A last ditch rescue bid to save Detroit from skid row this weekend has gone down the pan following assessments by international experts of its 2,800-strong collection of paintings, sculptures, pottery pieces and other precious ar...
It's not often that you hear of a Gang declaring bankruptcy but the once extremely vicious Toe Tag Gang of Detroit has filed today. "We used to control the funeral homes and Crematoriums all over the city", says ex-gang member Joe Mackerel. But t...
DETROIT - The Detroit Lions cheerleaders held an emergency meeting at The Carburetor Coliseum and decided to collectively do something to help the city of Detroit which has filed for bankruptcy. Lions head cheerleader Brooke Springbutter, 24, info...
NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Hostess Brands, the bakers of Wonder Bread, Ho Hos and Twinkies, announced today it will shut down its remaining two plants due to a strike that crippled its operations. Although the company will cease operations, Twinkies ha...
New York City - Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has declared war on what he says is the leading cause for America's ongoing fiscal crisis - bankruptcy. In fact, Romney revealed that his entire economic/fiscal policy is tied to the co...
DESPICABLE, ME (Acme Quicknews) -- Filesystem Squash FS Bank was closed last May 18, 2012 after a lack of funds to sustain the bank. The bank manager has posted a notice that after undergoing monthly or bi-monthly bank robberies and being unable t...
Following Chuck Norris's announcement that he will assume the Presidency in 2013, his financial advisors disclosed today that Mr. Norris will also take over the ailing Kodak Corporation in an apparent move to "Kick its butt back into shape". With...
6 Nov 2011: NHS: American Consultancy firm recieves £290,000 a year from UK Government! The Star An American consultancy firm seeking to profit out of thefallout from the shake-up to the NHS is being paid £250,000 a year by the government for advice on the transition towards health secretary Andrew Lansley's vision of the service. The company was one of 57 external "organisation and change" m...
For over 2000 years it was the "go to" company in post-life housing and employment but today HELL filed for Chapter 11 and announced will soon be closing its doors. Shares of HELL (NASDAQ) plummeted during the day and closed at $1.20, down from $307...
London - Talked-up by Red Tops on Monday this week as executing Canary Wharf's historic 18 billion euro ($28.6 billion) currency trade today's headlines are, naturally, a bit of a disappointment. Harry's spurious involvement in the City's 'biggest...
Barry Obama, faced with the reality of an economic catastrophe which could cause him to be a one term President, initiated a crisis management call to former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown seeking liquidity and re election advice. (Ed. Note: you...
The financial world is reeling at the announcement that the US of A is not quite as good at borrowing money as it was yesterday. This surprise news comes just days after the US decided that it could borrow even more money by raising its debt ceili...
WASHINGTON, DC - Political analysts are debating the President's power under the 14th Amendment Public Debt clause "for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned." Can Obama permanently remove the GOP and Tea Part...
Tiger Woods announced today he had severed a 12 year relationship with New Zealand Caddy Stevie Williams who had been with him for 72 Tournament wins including 13 majors! The injured Woods, nursing a sore joint after 4 knee operations, the loss of...
(Portsmouth, NH, USA) In spite of his show of bravado, Donald Trump may have been more rattled by the news that President Barack Obama's release of a certified copy of his original birth certificate. The President had already publicly shared a "cert...
Alaska - She could see Russia from her house. Today, it's a different story, as Sarah Palin has just announced to a stunned gathering outside her home that Alaska has been sold. "I don't know where I can move to an also-to see Russia from my hous...
Famed juiced-up Philadelphia Phillies outfielder -- who is as bad at running his day-to-day life as he was hitting left-handed pitchers who sent the off-speed stuff toward the inside of the plate-- has been arrested on various Grand Theft and Grand T...
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