New York - Momentous world events are likely to eclipse NYC mayor-elect Bill De Blasio's crowning moment as the farces of astrology unleash their most potent aspect this New Year's Day with a triple-whammy Sun/Moon/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn.
London, UK - The Astronomer Royal has issued a DeafCon Two alert about the Thanksgiving Comet as it crosses Queen Elizabeth's natal house of horrors in a sun grazing fly-past tomorrow at noon. Comet Ison's imminent cakewalk takes place exactly 333...
Los Angeles, California - Sunday's 25'25" degrees Taurus fool moon first earned its Split Beaver moniker during the 1998 Clinton impeachment trial when astrologers upgraded the November aspect from its plain Beaver Full Moon status on account of moon...
Sao Paulo - A $7 billion [15 billion real] upfront 'signature bonus' demanded by Sao Paulo auctioneers has been slammed by US energy companies as a crude scam amid rumors of a Hugo Chavez-style nationalization of Brazilian oil and gas next year. B...
Washington - A Wiccan delegation has tried tipping-off both President Obama and House of Representatives Speaker Boehner about the cosmic build-up to Friday's eclipsed fool moon. Citing a blob of ugly karmic high pressure over the US Capitol the c...
Arabian Gulf - Ascended masters of Islam's supernatural branch have described Wednesday night's powerful 'T-Square' in the cardinal signs of Capricorn, Aries and Cancer as a karmic trigger of ancient seismic fault-lines going all the way back to the...
Asia - Monday's Sun/Moon/Mercury/Jupiter conjunction in the sign of Cancer kick starts the annual Holy Month with a classic Muslim Sisterhood-kinda aspect not seen since AD 579 when sexist revisionists ousted the Great Goddess Al-Lat, the preeminent,...
London - An astrological roller coaster weekend of terrible disasters has been triggered by the Moon/Mars conjunction in the sign of Cancer just hours ahead of Sunday's Wimbledon Men's Finals where Brit No 1 hope Andy Murray's makes his championship...
Europe - Revered by the ancients as an omen of catastrophe Comet 2011 L4 Panstarrs will be nearing perihelion over British skies on Mothering Sunday next week. Its flight path is being videoed from the International Space Station which monitors an...
Rome - Stargazers reviewing the Pope's birth chart said today a massive build up of freaky asteroids in his natal Cancer is probably behind this morning's resignation. Decades of space junk clashes in the crabby constellation had clearly worn down...
Canary Islands - Some weird astrological stuff in Aquarius the Water Carrier and Pisces the Fish has been blamed for the sinking of a lifeboat which crashed 65ft from an upper deck into the sea, killing five and injuring three. The incident happen...
I had been an astrologer for very many years, diligently generating predictions from the ancient charts for both private clients and national periodicals. For much of that time, however, I had harboured an unspoken suspicion that something was not quite right. It seemed to me that predictions were frequently inaccurate - in fact they were nearly always completely wrong. I had, nevertheless,...
Washington DC - Capitol Hill stargazers are close to panic at evidence that a 'rogue planet' is transiting President Obama's birth chart. Spotted some 100 light years from Earth and provisionally dubbed CFBDSIR2149-0403 the 'homeless' celestial bo...
New York - A Public Health notice posted on the corner of E.86th and 5th is warning the aspect occurs in the 'fixed' water sign of Scorpio that rules the gonads, oil and gas and various Middle Eastern tinpot dictatorships. Particularly affected a...
Washington - Capitol Hill astrologers are piling on the misery as a series of strategic zodiac aspects continues to blight Vice President Biden's natal chart. "We see him on the karmic equivalent of the Brits' controversial Liverpool Care Pathway,...
Washington - It's bad news for the Romney Campaign as millions of undecided American voters head for the polls under the influence of a rare astrological aspect on the day of the US presidential election. Tuesday sees Mercury, planet of communicat...
New York - The Carnegie Hill chapter of Filthy Rich Pagans Anonymous is right up Barry's ass over Friday's lunation according to a new hex-messaging service launched today. A rare and stunning second August Full Moon lights up the heavens in that...
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