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Funny satire stories about airport security

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Funny story: Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights From Britain!

Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights From Britain!

The astonishing decision by 'Big Sis' to put passengers lives at increased risk from elderly terrorists by relaxing security procedures for the over 75's at US airports has brought a warning from Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron, currently in A...

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Funny story: "Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says

"Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says

President Obama was informed yesterday about definite threats to the homeland from terrorists posing as TSA, DHS or other government officials. There was also specific intelligence about a female terrorist, a lookalike of DHS Secretary Janet Napolita...

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Funny story: Airport Administrators That Implemented Nude X-Ray Machine Actually Porn Addicts

Airport Administrators That Implemented Nude X-Ray Machine Actually Porn Addicts

In the wake of the news that airports across the country will now be using machines that take nude photographs of passengers, x rays of a person's insides, and body cavity searches that are video taped, it has now been discovered that the administrat...

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Funny story: TSA Charges UK Man with Attempt to Smuggle Endangered 'Alligator Bags' Through Newark Airport!

TSA Charges UK Man with Attempt to Smuggle Endangered 'Alligator Bags' Through Newark Airport!

Minimum Wage TSA union workers, smarting from a series of law enforcement charges running from rape, murder, theft, drug smuggling, pedophilia, and sexual fondling and harassment attempted to make it all right by detaining a British man who claims h...

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Funny story: Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport

Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport

A spider triggered an evacuation of Manchester Airport today when it was mistaken for a terror attack. It was not a massive mutated beast crushing planes under one of it's eight feet. It wasn't even a venomous spider. Or hairy. It was an ordinary...

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Funny story: TSA Launches 'Finders/Keepers' to Battle the Deficit

TSA Launches 'Finders/Keepers' to Battle the Deficit

Washington DC - The Federal Government's army of airport security guards is being enlisted in the fight to reduce the nation's budget deficit. Under a new program called "Finders/Keepers," TSA agents will be empowered to seize any currency, jewelr...

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Funny story: The TSA Says That Their Pat Downs Are Going To Get Even More Intimate After They Find A Grenade Launcher On A Flight Bound For Arizona

The TSA Says That Their Pat Downs Are Going To Get Even More Intimate After They Find A Grenade Launcher On A Flight Bound For Arizona

LOS ANGELES - Transportation Security Administration Spokesperson Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle met with the members of the media at LAX Airport. He informed them that due to the fact that a co-pilot aboard a recent Trans Air Arizona flight found a gre...

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Funny story: Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas - Airport security guards apprehended an individual identified as Bucky "Buck" Fippyquack, 42, at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport in Hot Springs. One of the security guards Conway Earl Strayfoil said that he and his partner Ea...

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Funny story: People Avoid TSA Scans and Pat Downs by Using FedEx, Save Money on Flights

People Avoid TSA Scans and Pat Downs by Using FedEx, Save Money on Flights

In the rush to avoid the intrusiveness of both the TSA scanners and pat downs at airports, people have begun to use overnight FedEx to send themselves, their families and their luggage to their destinations. By using FedEx's newly promoted 250 pou...

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Funny story: Animals check in at Heathrow's special Animal Reception Centre

Animals check in at Heathrow's special Animal Reception Centre

Animals arriving at Heathrow airport, even those transferring to other flights, must now pass through the Animal Reception Centre. A spokesperson stated that it is well known that drugs and other contraband are smuggled in using animals from various...

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Funny story: TSA fights back

TSA fights back

It would seem that TSA is not happy with a growing list of airports and it seems like a Supreme Court battle may be in the offering. According to sources in the transportation industry, TSA is preparing to begin legal action against Airports such...

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Funny story: Snow Miser put on 'No Fly' list

Snow Miser put on 'No Fly' list

Mr. Snow Miser who played, well the 'Snow Miser', on the hit Christmas television special, The Year Without a Santa Claus, discovered to his dismay that he has been put on the TSA's 'No Fly' list. Mr. Miser, who was trying to get back to his hom...

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Funny story: Selena Gomez Refuses TSA "Pat Down" At LAX Airport

Selena Gomez Refuses TSA "Pat Down" At LAX Airport

LOS ANGELES - Teen singing sensation Selena Gomez was at LAX Airport on her way to visit her grandmother who lives in Dime Box, Texas. The star of the Disney Channel's The Wizards of Waverly Place had gone through the airport's metal detector with...

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Funny story: Santa gets two years

Santa gets two years

AP "Always Perverted" News - North Pole: Santa sentenced to 2 years in federal prison? A series of bad events apparently sends Santa over the edge. Monday Santa was grounded by the FFA for flight within the US airspace for being unable to...

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Funny story: Subo fanatics upset at recent changes in 'pat downs' at airports

Subo fanatics upset at recent changes in 'pat downs' at airports

Subo fanatics are up in arms at the latest security measures being put into practice at airports, mainly the more 'intimate' pat downs. They are all frequent flyers, following their idol, Susan Boyle, around the world. They are to be seen EVERYWH...

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Funny story: Fruitcakes not allowed on international flights this holiday season

Fruitcakes not allowed on international flights this holiday season

It has been announced that no fruitcakes will be allowed on International flights from now on. Does this mean the end to air travel as a mode of transportation currently enjoyed by Spoof Writers, Richard Simmons,Clay Aiken and the rest of the gay...

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Funny story: Embarrassing & stupid US faux pas causes chagrin in US-India relations as Obama Admin forced to say "We're sari, so sari" to Indian Ambassador's humiliating airport pat-down.

Embarrassing & stupid US faux pas causes chagrin in US-India relations as Obama Admin forced to say "We're sari, so sari" to Indian Ambassador's humiliating airport pat-down.

Something is really rotten in US-world relations. Despite their attempt to portray themselves as fair-but-tough, no-nonsense, self-appointed moral policemen of the world, the plain fact is that America is simply unable to treat others with basic res...

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