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Funny satire stories about accident

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Funny story: Health Alert, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", Infects People Across America.

Health Alert, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", Infects People Across America.

A new malady has been sweeping across America. It seems that when ever someone in America is involved in any kind of accident, they develop a wide range of health problems. The American Health Society became aware of this rash of complaints when o...

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Funny story: Upside Down and Nowhere to Go

Upside Down and Nowhere to Go

The lovely Mrs. Claire and I are hanging upside down in our car. This is not a comfortable position - trust me. After I'm sure we've stopped moving, I ask her if she's ok, which is really the only thing that matters to me. She assures me that she is, and asks the same of me. After a few seconds of silence, I state what was probably obvious to her: "Honey, I am so glad you're ok. I think we're...

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Funny story: Man gets out of bed the wrong way

Man gets out of bed the wrong way

A Goole man with a broken nose was admitted to Humberside Hospital yesterday morning after getting out of bed the wrong way. Errol Dover, 58, who usually sleeps like a log, bashed his nose against the wall shortly after his alarm went off. "It...

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Funny story: New Mexico man shot during robbery, or by accident, or some damned how

New Mexico man shot during robbery, or by accident, or some damned how

SILVER CITY, New Mexico (ABSNN) - Oddly enough, given the large number of guns and ammunition stores found in a gun shop, very few people have ever been shot in one, unless, of course, "they had it coming." Such was the case in this tiny New Mexico...

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Funny story: Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

The horrendous accident occurred at somewhere around nine am this morning in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Burnley, Lancashire, owned by Spoffco, a novelty greetings card company. Alert employees immediately called the emergency services...

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Funny story: Abba Tribute Act Injured Onstage

Abba Tribute Act Injured Onstage

A performer with the silent Abba tribute act 'Mime-A-Mia' was left pole axed on stage last night after he collided with a previous act's unfinished introductory joke. The joke, an aborted one liner known as the ' A Man Walked Into A Bar' gag, had bee...

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Funny story: Birmingham man gets a bum deal in 'accident' claim

Birmingham man gets a bum deal in 'accident' claim

Dennis Lakass was disappointed to receive only £5.99 in compensation after his recent accident. This claim for compensation started when he got a text saying "you may be entitled to £1500 for the accident you had." Mr. Lakass sent details of...

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Funny story: Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

A pensioner had to be taken to hospital after they caught their testicles in a shower seat last week. Dorking fire crews were called out to the pensioner's house in Dorking on April 6th to help cut them free after getting their private parts trapp...

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Funny story: Anti-slippers are a must buy for the safety conscious

Anti-slippers are a must buy for the safety conscious

The Safety in the Home Instructional Task-force has produced its recommendations to cut down on accidents in the home. The main outcome of the five year study is that the slippers are to blame for just over half of all home based accidents. "In fi...

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Funny story: Leg breaks man's arm on icy pavement

Leg breaks man's arm on icy pavement

A Cardiff man, Ivor Duffboddy, suffered a bizarre injury last week when his right arm was broken by a 28-pound false leg. The accident happened on an icy pavement outside the General Infirmary. An outpatient, George Hopper, waiting for a check-up,...

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Funny story: Mercedes to produce the world's safest car

Mercedes to produce the world's safest car

Mercedes are already well known for their extensive feature list and super safe cars. Now, they have gone a stage further and produced what they claim is the safest car in the world. Although only currently in concept stage, they may have a point.

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Funny story: Screwdrivers are the most dangerous tool

Screwdrivers are the most dangerous tool

In the national accident statistics, the humble screwdriver has come out tops of the most dangerous household tools wielded by inept morons. "You would have thought chainsaw, or power drill," said NAS Co-ordinator Nathan Tonal. "However, accidents...

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Funny story: Alan Partridge Reverses Into Joe Pasquale

Alan Partridge Reverses Into Joe Pasquale

Alan Partridge, the controversial broadcaster whose autobiography was released earlier this month, was left red faced after reversing his Lexus into high pitched funny-man Joe Pasquale. Both men were left shaken but unhurt after the incident in t...

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Funny story: Barry Manilow's face injures five fans

Barry Manilow's face injures five fans

Legendary singer Barry Manilow was said to be deeply upset following an accident at his concert in Caesars Palace earlier today. While straining to reach top D in a performance of his hit song 'Mandy', the supports holding Manilow's face are thoug...

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Funny story: I35 Fender Bender Leaves Man With Head Jammed Firmly Up His Own Ass

I35 Fender Bender Leaves Man With Head Jammed Firmly Up His Own Ass

Emporia, Kansas, - Seasoned law enforcement veterans from Emporia had to take a time out today after attending the scene of a horrific car crash on I35, which left one man with his head jammed so far up his own ass that he was able to chew on his own...

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Funny story: Worst Feared for Anorexic Teen Following Toilet Flush Tragedy

Worst Feared for Anorexic Teen Following Toilet Flush Tragedy

Glastonbury man, Robin Tripp was today woefully counting the cost of a night on the town, following which, he inadvertently flushed his thirteen year old anorexic daughter down the toilet. A senior police officer described the circumstances as a t...

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Funny story: Havant Gas Fitter Electrocuted By Water Pipe

Havant Gas Fitter Electrocuted By Water Pipe

Residents of a Havant street were still in shock this morning following the untimely near demise of local self-employed gas fitter, Everton Cleverly. Mr Cleverly had been called out to a semi detached residence in Abbey Road to attend a suspected...

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