After 48 years of misery, upsets, lousy performances and overpaid Rooney, England have just finished first in the World Cup! The news has just seeped through after a donkey ridden by a Himalayan Sherpa, his five children and wife rode into Kathman...
As the World Cup begins in Brazil, violent protests have spread far and wide across the nation. News and images of clashes have shocked the world but mostly in the US where the sport labeled as 'football' rarely sees such displays of affection. Ma...
Nobody knows who should play in the England team better than millions of unqualified (sometimes drunk) coaches up and down the country. The world cup and the England team unites the country in a way only declaring war on the Germans used to. Back and...
Everyone is anticipating the excitement of the World Cup in Brazil. The England team are hoping for a major shock with Demonstrations expected for their style of football. The local Brazilians fancy a carnival is a good way of showing satisfaction...
Today the BBC reported on England's accommodation in Brazil. The rooms that the players will be staying in feature couches and mattresses that are HIV positive, Behind the hotel is a favella that resonates enough gunfire to ensure that none of the p...
Pop? Pop? I ask you, bloody cheeky little twerps...that's what our two teenage prodigies took to calling me. Raheem and Luke, they've hardly got a hair on their collective testicles and they had the nerve to call me "Pop". In fact knowing kids thes...
UKIP have walked ably into the World Cup coverage team on ITV this summer as Glenn Hoddle has been employed to cover the gap left by Roy "insert insult about someone else" Keane. Little known to the general public, most UKIP politicians regularly...
The government has revealed today that Adrian Chiles is actually Wayne Rooney from the year 2033! Adrian Chiles has been the awkward face of the ITV football coverage team for an eternity plus seven, with no clear justification ever being issued b...
The World Cup is coming! And everyone in Algérie is excited on tenterhooks! The World Cup is played every four years and it is in a different country every time. This year it is in Brazil which is the best team and they will win - but not if the A...
The ex-England footballer Paul Gascoigne has tonight revealed he has been left devastated by the loss of his favourite fishing Rod. The fishing rod is said to have been especially dear to the Italia '90 hero because it had been signed by every singl...
Bloody Daniel Agger. I wanted to get on that pitch and kick him in the nuts after what he did to our little Jack. I was out of my seat seething and shouting at the bastard. Yes okay, so maybe I was on the bench, but we can't all be in the team and...
Sammy Caruthers of Guildford announced yesterday his own provisional 23 man England football squad for the World Cup 2014 in Brazil this June. Sammy, who goes to school at St Margarets Church of England primary, said that changes could be made l...
Did you see it? Did you bloody see it? He looked like he was on holiday in Southend not visiting a building site in Manaus. No style, stupid 99p Store shades, long sleeve shirt, all buttoned up and I bet he was wearing flannels and a vest. I suppo...
Newly retired Sir Alec Fergieson has revealed in his new book he turned down the chance to manage England twice but, if asked for a third time, would definitely accept the job... with conditions. Fergie revealed he turned down the chance to replac...
England manager Roy Hodgson and former captain Rio Ferdinand have been appointed to the Football Association's commission to improve the state of the national game. A spokesman for the commission said the two had been brought in for their humour a...
Following the 'space monkey' gag that backfired at half-time in the vital England v Poland world cup qualifying gig, under pressure gaffer Woy, sorry Roy Hodgson is considering a comedy class to get him match fit for the World Cup in Brazil. The F...
Frustrated by the fact that England qualified for the World Cup in Brazil next year at the first time of asking. The Sun newspaper have had to resort to dirty tricks in their attempt to get manager Roy Hodgeson replaced by their man Harry Redknapp be...
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