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Funny satire stories about Weight Loss

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Funny story: Madonna Rants That Christina Aguilera Is Too Skinny And That Someone Needs To Give Her A Hot Dog

Madonna Rants That Christina Aguilera Is Too Skinny And That Someone Needs To Give Her A Hot Dog

NEW YORK CITY - Madonna was out in Central Park walking her pet flamingo when she was approached by an entertainment news program reporter. Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors asked the "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" singer what she thought about Christin...

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Funny story: Miranda Lambert Reveals The Secret To Her Astounding 31 Pound Weight Loss

Miranda Lambert Reveals The Secret To Her Astounding 31 Pound Weight Loss

NASHVILLE - Miranda Lambert was so afraid of losing her husband Blake Shelton to some pretty young thing that she decided to go on a diet to get rid of that hefty look. Miranda who stands 5-foot-4-inches tall has been worried for months that Blake...

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Funny story: Honey Boo Boo's Mama Says She Doesn't Weigh 400 Pounds Anymore

Honey Boo Boo's Mama Says She Doesn't Weigh 400 Pounds Anymore

McIntyre, Georgia - June "Mama" Shannon recently talked to Yippee-Ki-Yay magazine and said that she has lost quite a bit of weight lately. The mother of the infamous little Honey Boo Boo (Alana Thompson) star of her own hit reality show Here Comes...

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Funny story: Brad Pitt Concerned As Angelina Jolie's Weight Plummets Down To 91 Pounds!

Brad Pitt Concerned As Angelina Jolie's Weight Plummets Down To 91 Pounds!

NEW YORK CITY - Friends of Angelina Jolie, 38, are very concerned at her tremendous weight loss. One longtime friend identified as Ribby Ping, 40, said that at first everyone just figured that Angie had one hell of a tapeworm. But after X-rays...

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Funny story: Christina Aguilera Admits That Now That The Weight Is Off It's Staying Off

Christina Aguilera Admits That Now That The Weight Is Off It's Staying Off

LA BREA, California - Christina Aguilera, singer and former judge on The Voice was recently spotted at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner having lunch with her hair stylist FuFi Fondue. Aguilera informed Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that...

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Funny story: Christina Aguilera Shows Off Her Skinny, Beach-Ready Body

Christina Aguilera Shows Off Her Skinny, Beach-Ready Body

VENICE BEACH - Christina Aguilera has lost quite a bit of weight lately and she is not shy about letting people know it and showing it. Aguilera who was recently photographed on Venice Beach wearing one of the skimpiest, sexiest bikini swimsuits m...

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Funny story: Christina Aguilera Reveals Her Weight Loss Secret

Christina Aguilera Reveals Her Weight Loss Secret

MARINA DEL REY - Christina Aguilera recently revealed that she had lost 17 pounds and is beginning to feel not as huge as she was getting to be. The former mentor on The Voice was asked by Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight what the secret t...

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Funny story: Chelsea Handler Talks About Christina Aguilera's Weight Loss

Chelsea Handler Talks About Christina Aguilera's Weight Loss

LA BREA - Talk show host Chelsea Handler was recently spotted in La Brea shopping for some garlic, fancy tire rims, and a pair of maracas. Handler sat down at a bus stop and talked with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors. She was asked if it was true tha...

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Funny story: Chaz Bono Has A Crush on Ann Coulter

Chaz Bono Has A Crush on Ann Coulter

TARZANA, California - Chaz Bono, who was commended by friends and family for having the ahh, gumption to appear on Dancing With The Stars, has revealed a secret he has been keeping since last November. Chaz, who was born Chastity, to Sonny and Che...

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Funny story: Flaky, Feisty and Surprisingly Full-Bodied, Gillian McKeith is back

Flaky, Feisty and Surprisingly Full-Bodied, Gillian McKeith is back

It struck me as bizarre that Gillian McKeith, former T.V. weight loss guru, wanted to meet at McDonald's. Spotting her at the counter ordering a double cheeseburger with fries, however, everything became clear. Dr McKeith had turned into a bit of a porker. Realising I was about to get the celebrity interview of the year, I decided to pace myself. The woman was already disastrously close to...

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Funny story: Lose weight by pounding sheds

Lose weight by pounding sheds

People who need to shed pounds should pound sheds, according to researchers. Dr. Abel Toschivdit, of Fatbusters Clinic, surveyed over 100 would-be slimmers about their weight-loss attempts. When they had failed to reach their targets, most of them...

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Funny story: The U.S. Government To Outlaw Liposuction

The U.S. Government To Outlaw Liposuction

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a move that has long been overdue, the government of the United States has moved to outlaw the weight loss program of liposuction. A spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Weight, Darth S. Clutterbuck, stated to the news med...

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Funny story: Low Income Fat Kids To Be offered Free Liposuction and Plastic Surgery To Help Improve Self Esteem

Low Income Fat Kids To Be offered Free Liposuction and Plastic Surgery To Help Improve Self Esteem

Millions of hideously overweight children are to be given free liposuction should Barrack Obama get his way. In a follow on of the "No child left behind" policy the President has promised to attack obesesity head on in the nations schoools. The S...

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Funny story: Flab Fighters changed my life

Flab Fighters changed my life

Carol Heeney from Dorking has revealed how visiting Flab Fighters has changed her life. "Before I joined flab fighters," she said, "I weighed twenty-two stone. Something had to change." Her friends noticed how she changed, and commented on it r...

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Funny story: Bruce Willis Says Demi Moore's Depressed Condition Is Totally Ashton Kutcher's Fault

Bruce Willis Says Demi Moore's Depressed Condition Is Totally Ashton Kutcher's Fault

HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Willis recently stated that he has tried to stay out of the May-December marital mess of his ex-wife Demi Moore, 49, and her boy-toy husband Ashton "The Itch" Kutcher, 34. Willis, who fathered three semi-good looking daughters wi...

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Funny story: New Mitten Diet Guarantees Weight Loss

New Mitten Diet Guarantees Weight Loss

In an exhaustive study performed in 5 different cities across the U.S. and Canada, Doctors and nutritionists have proven that the constant wearing of winter mittens immediately promotes significant weight loss. Aside from the obvious difficult att...

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Funny story: Vast majority of dieters wrongly blame hormonal changes for weight re-gain, study

Vast majority of dieters wrongly blame hormonal changes for weight re-gain, study

HARFOLD, Vt.--Some 80% of dieters regain the weight they've lost within a year. According to a study released earlier this week by Harfold State College, some 99.9% of those dieters blame hormonal changes for the return of flab. Coincidently, the...

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