It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan Everywhere you go; Take a look in the state pen They’re dying once again With ovens and crematoriums aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan No food in any store But the prettiest sight to see is...
Please don’t. I was in a bad mood, and didn’t feel like chatting. “No clue, I haven’t seen it yet.” “Well, I did, a few days ago," he said while changing lanes. “Don’t tell anyone, but I downloaded this movie from a torrent. Disappointing qual...
The deadly Coronavirus, which was officially named by the World Health Organization (WHO) as Covid-19 earlier this week, is strongly resisting all attempts to rename it, and has been appearing in many places still under its original moniker. The v...
There was widespread pandemonium in both Italy and Portugal this afternoon, after it was announced that footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, had been involved in a scare in relation to the deadly Coronavirus currently sweeping the globe. Ronaldo, 35, ha...
A man who visited a market in southeast Asia with his wife on Sunday, has revealed how he was literally in fear of his life, due to the presence in the market of so many Chinese people who could have been infected with the Coronavirus. Moys Kenwoo...
The much feared and regularly used Trojan virus has almost turned the peotle of brittle into jabbering rex. They are almost ruined! The virus, which originated from the bowels of Sir Daleks Ferguson's corrupted memory system, was at first only intended for his Manchester United successor David Moyes, but it has spun wildly out of control, right across the country, like a wildfire! Its next...
The lab in Texas that lost vials of virus last year now have company. A French lab has lost more than 3,000 vials containing fragments of the deadly SARS virus, which killed nearly a thousand people ten years ago in a worldwide epidemic. The Pa...
Amoebas everywhere are suffering from headaches, aching pseudopodia and high temperatures due to the reckless revival of a virus which only attacks them. An amoebic physician, Dr. Daphnia Clostridium said this morning "We are all so pissed. We hav...
AIX-MARSEILLE, France - Researchers at the University of Aix-Marseille have revived a virus that had lain dormant in Siberian permafrost for the past 30,000 years. Asked why they had thawed out and revived such a potentially dangerous virus, resea...
Researchers in Wyoming recently uncovered a new strain of the virus that leads to the well known "Mad Cow Disease". "This new strain of the virus is not nearly as aggressive," stated Dr. Armand Hammer, director of agricultural research at USEDSTEW...
Manny Horkle's wife Bunny said she first noticed a problem when Manny suddenly stopped functioning while the couple was taking an evening walk. "We were walking along and, all of a sudden, he just froze and his left eye began twitching rapidly,"...
ATLANTA, GA - Steny Tripinski, senior spokesperson for the Centers for Disease Control, has issue a new SARS alert, confirming that scientists have discovered evidence of a new SARS Virus in multiple boxes of latest breakfast cereal, 'SARS-Flavored C...
Humanity's fate was sealed earlier today when a vial containing the genetically engineered super virus known as "EbolaThrax" was dropped at a secure lab facility deep within the Pentagon. Multiple contributing factors are apparently to blame for the...
A genetically engineered virus created in the Langley Labs in the USA was accidentally unleashed in Windsor during a scientist's visit to the Queen's residence there. The Virus, codenamed Flubber turns concrete and stone into a gelatinous material...
Doctor and Gambol, the world's largest manufacturer of cold relief medicine, has been accused of genetically engineering a virus that can induce cold symptoms in people during the summer months. "It's not true," said Paul Proctor, head of marketin...
LANGLEY VA - Defacelika virus was produced in an NSA laboratory to eek out intelligence by digesting the minds of "Joe Blow", Facebook customer, according to our source, an NSA agent with big lips, Dr. Brunnos Echeeks, from Eastern Europe. When Dr...
Fears were growing tonight that a mystery virus which has struck down two people in the Saddleworth area could cause the cancellation of this years Whit Friday Brass Band Contest due to be held on the 1st June. The world famous contest which is tradi...
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