There is so much un-used space at Whitehall HQ that Eric Pickles has come up with a marvellous idea to rent the space to be used as a huge food hall. Apparently, he plans to rent some of the space himself and set up a new business, to be named Pic...
A mutant Cauliflower is striking fear and horror into every section of the community. 'This is a new type of cauliflower' said Prof Dumble 'it can walk and jump at you when you are not looking!' This dreadful being grasps your stomach and turn...
As a result of the recent deaths caused by tainted cucumbers, Health Organizations world-wide are encouraging people to switch to eating courgettes. This, sometimes ignored vegetable, is a great substitute in any recipe calling for cucumbers. C...
Fresh from the controversy over the scientific rebranding of aubergines, peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers as fruit that forced a major reshuffle in supermarkets around the country, scientists have now announced that broccoli is not a vegetable either.
Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...
A recent survey carried out by Girl Play magazine has revealed a liking of fruit and vegetables as sex toys among sexually active and adventurous women. "The most popular vegetable was the carrot," said magazine editor, Andrea Fuller. "Women repor...
Nutritionists working for the Government's Ministry of Health and Safety have announced that the current recommendation of five portions of fruit and veg a day is not enough and it should be raised to eight or nine a day. "We have found that a dec...
The Whistle Blowing website, WikiLeaks, run by Australian Swedish Lady Lover, Julian Assange, is to be taken down and re-branded as a site about vegetables. "Instead of all this troublesome leaking of national secrets," said Assange, "we are going...
The Welsh Assembly met in emergency session due to the activities of WillyLeeks a website giving all the information about Wales not in the Travel Guide. A Protest was made to United Nations at the sabotage of Welsh Leeks. Among the astonishing re...
A taste for celery is one that many people never acquire, but scientists have just given them a reason to eat it. They have discovered that a chemical found in high concentrations in celery - and in peppers - could halt memory loss as we get older...
It may just be a humble root crop, but the turnip is now the must-have accessory of the West Coast rap scene, so beloved of SUVs, cognac and diamond-encrusted watches. The vegetable has become famous as a result of the song 'Bitch Smokes My Turnip...
In an effort to protect the U.S. public from low cost, healthy foods, the US Food and Drug Administration will now ban fresh broccoli from human consumption. "This ban is being implemented after multiple reports of the benefits of fresh broccoli a...
Gordon Brown has said he is stepping down as Labour Party leader and Prime Vegetable - as his party opens formal talks with the North Korea Party about forming a government. Mr Brown, prime vegetable since 2007, said he hoped a successor as leader...
The FDA announced this week that Twinkie, a popular food item distributed by Hostess and owned by Texas-based Hostess, is now classified as a vegetable. The Twinkie as a Vegetable referendum refers to a United States Department of Agriculture (U...
Normally animal rights activists gather to protest abuse of animals. But on this chilly January day in the Twin Cities, near the University of Minnesota campus, seventeen sheep are gathered outside a hotel where the activists are meeting and dining...
(BANGKOK, Thailand) There was confusion surrounding the details of how a British man living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was involved in a near-fatal incident involving a new electric steam cooker and a carrot yesterday. The man, who is masquera...
In a shock discovery by Terry O'Flannell, 54, Brussels sprouts have been proven to be the creation of Satan. Long thought of as the tiny cousin of a cabbage, sprouts are known for their potent gas making capabilities and foul and disgustingly horr...
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