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Funny satire stories about Vegetables

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Funny story: New Cauliflower mutant

New Cauliflower mutant

A mutant Cauliflower is striking fear and horror into every section of the community. 'This is a new type of cauliflower' said Prof Dumble 'it can walk and jump at you when you are not looking!' This dreadful being grasps your stomach and turn...

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Funny story: Courgettes are the new Cucumbers

Courgettes are the new Cucumbers

As a result of the recent deaths caused by tainted cucumbers, Health Organizations world-wide are encouraging people to switch to eating courgettes. This, sometimes ignored vegetable, is a great substitute in any recipe calling for cucumbers. C...

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Funny story: Vegetable weaponry being tested by German Army

Vegetable weaponry being tested by German Army

In the light of the recent Cucumber attacks in Germany we understand that tests and experiments are being carried out in secret, using vegetables. Using minority groups as test subjects, they are being exposed to various vegetables being used with...

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Funny story: Broccoli is not a vegetable

Broccoli is not a vegetable

Fresh from the controversy over the scientific rebranding of aubergines, peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers as fruit that forced a major reshuffle in supermarkets around the country, scientists have now announced that broccoli is not a vegetable either.

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Funny story: Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...

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Funny story: Fruit and Vegetable sex toys

Fruit and Vegetable sex toys

A recent survey carried out by Girl Play magazine has revealed a liking of fruit and vegetables as sex toys among sexually active and adventurous women. "The most popular vegetable was the carrot," said magazine editor, Andrea Fuller. "Women repor...

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Funny story: Five a day is not enough

Five a day is not enough

Nutritionists working for the Government's Ministry of Health and Safety have announced that the current recommendation of five portions of fruit and veg a day is not enough and it should be raised to eight or nine a day. "We have found that a dec...

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Funny story: WikiLeaks to be re-branded as WikiLeeks

WikiLeaks to be re-branded as WikiLeeks

The Whistle Blowing website, WikiLeaks, run by Australian Swedish Lady Lover, Julian Assange, is to be taken down and re-branded as a site about vegetables. "Instead of all this troublesome leaking of national secrets," said Assange, "we are going...

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Funny story: Welsh Protest over Leeks

Welsh Protest over Leeks

The Welsh Assembly met in emergency session due to the activities of WillyLeeks a website giving all the information about Wales not in the Travel Guide. A Protest was made to United Nations at the sabotage of Welsh Leeks. Among the astonishing re...

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Funny story: Celery reduces memory loss

Celery reduces memory loss

A taste for celery is one that many people never acquire, but scientists have just given them a reason to eat it. They have discovered that a chemical found in high concentrations in celery - and in peppers - could halt memory loss as we get older...

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Funny story: Turnip now 'root vegetable of choice' for West-Coast Rappers

Turnip now 'root vegetable of choice' for West-Coast Rappers

It may just be a humble root crop, but the turnip is now the must-have accessory of the West Coast rap scene, so beloved of SUVs, cognac and diamond-encrusted watches. The vegetable has become famous as a result of the song 'Bitch Smokes My Turnip...

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Funny story: FDA to Ban Fresh Broccoli

FDA to Ban Fresh Broccoli

In an effort to protect the U.S. public from low cost, healthy foods, the US Food and Drug Administration will now ban fresh broccoli from human consumption. "This ban is being implemented after multiple reports of the benefits of fresh broccoli a...

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Funny story: Brown Announces Ability to Talk and End of His Tenure as Prime Vegetable; coalition talks 'pitch woo' with North Korea's Kim Jong-il

Brown Announces Ability to Talk and End of His Tenure as Prime Vegetable; coalition talks 'pitch woo' with North Korea's Kim Jong-il

Gordon Brown has said he is stepping down as Labour Party leader and Prime Vegetable - as his party opens formal talks with the North Korea Party about forming a government. Mr Brown, prime vegetable since 2007, said he hoped a successor as leader...

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Funny story: Twinkie Classified as a Vegetable; School Boards Rejoice

Twinkie Classified as a Vegetable; School Boards Rejoice

The FDA announced this week that Twinkie, a popular food item distributed by Hostess and owned by Texas-based Hostess, is now classified as a vegetable. The Twinkie as a Vegetable referendum refers to a United States Department of Agriculture (U...

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Funny story: Sheep Protest Veggie Buffet At Animal Rights Gathering

Sheep Protest Veggie Buffet At Animal Rights Gathering

Normally animal rights activists gather to protest abuse of animals. But on this chilly January day in the Twin Cities, near the University of Minnesota campus, seventeen sheep are gathered outside a hotel where the activists are meeting and dining...

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Funny story: Man Chokes On Steamed Carrot - Almost Dies

Man Chokes On Steamed Carrot - Almost Dies

(BANGKOK, Thailand) There was confusion surrounding the details of how a British man living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was involved in a near-fatal incident involving a new electric steam cooker and a carrot yesterday. The man, who is masquera...

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Funny story: Evil Sprouts: Created By Satan, Official!

Evil Sprouts: Created By Satan, Official!

In a shock discovery by Terry O'Flannell, 54, Brussels sprouts have been proven to be the creation of Satan. Long thought of as the tiny cousin of a cabbage, sprouts are known for their potent gas making capabilities and foul and disgustingly horr...

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