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Funny satire stories about Vampires

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Funny story: Gingivitis Takes the Bite Out Of Vampire

Gingivitis Takes the Bite Out Of Vampire

New Orleans, Louisiana vampire, Bobby Belfry, has lost all of his teeth due to the affects of advanced gingivitis. This happenstance has rendered Mr. Belfry bite-less, albeit, but not flightless. For 8,656 years and 225 days, Mr. Belfry had been...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Heidi Montag To Star In The Vampires of The Fiscal Cliff

Rob Pattinson and Heidi Montag To Star In The Vampires of The Fiscal Cliff

HOLLYWOOD - Word coming out of Tinsel Town is that Pipe Dream Films in association with Omnigate Pictures has just released the media info on their latest movie production. Noted producer Bellanini Terrabini stated that the movie titled The Vampir...

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Funny story: Pattinson cousin is only man in America who has never seen the Twilight Saga

Pattinson cousin is only man in America who has never seen the Twilight Saga

LANCASTER COUNTY, Pennsylvania (ABSNN) - A vast number of the farms in this Pennsylvania county have no electricity, no televisions, no telephones, no motor vehicles, no Honey Boo Boo. They are Amish folk, and yet, even the Amish know of the Twiligh...

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Funny story: Honey Boo Boo To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries

Honey Boo Boo To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries

LOS ANGELES - The producer of the hit show The Vampire Diaries has just announced that he has signed reality show star Honey Boo Boo to appear on his hit show. Manolo Middlezuck told Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight that he has been trying...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Seen Cavorting With Ke$ha

Rob Pattinson Seen Cavorting With Ke$ha

SANTA MONICA - The reports about Rob Pattinson, 26, and ex-girlfriend Kristen Stewart, 22, getting back together again have been greatly exaggerated. A close friend of Pattinson's stated to iRumors that the stories of the two making up and startin...

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Funny story: Obama's poor debate performance; Vampires vs. Zombies in Prime Time

Obama's poor debate performance; Vampires vs. Zombies in Prime Time

Washington DC - In a shocking revelation, our coverage of the 2012 Presidential Campaign has unearthed sources who claim that the Republican Party is controlled by Vampires, with the Democrats run by Super Zombies. Although yet to be confirmed,...

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Funny story: Man Utd take garlic, silver bullets and wooden stakes to Romania!

Man Utd take garlic, silver bullets and wooden stakes to Romania!

Man United arrived in Romania today and were rapidly transported off to their hotel before dark. Several players had cloves of garlic hanging around their necks to ward off any vampires that could have been hiding on the mens bogs at the airport.

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Finally Back Together

Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Are Finally Back Together

LOS ANGELES - Liz and Dick did it. So did Robert and Natalie. Those two famous couples Taylor, Burton, Wagner, and Wood married divorced and remarried. Now Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were never married but for all practical purposes they ma...

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries

Clint Eastwood To Guest Star On The Vampire Diaries

HOLLYWOOD - Manolo Middlezuck, producer of The Vampire Diaries, has just announced that he has signed legendary movie and television icon Clint Eastwood to appear in an upcoming episode of his hit television cable show. Middlezuck says that when h...

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Funny story: Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner To Star In The Vampire Adventure "The Bloodhounds of Bakersfield"

Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner To Star In The Vampire Adventure "The Bloodhounds of Bakersfield"

HOLLYWOOD - Kristen Stewart told her agent that she is tired of sitting around crying like a two-year-old baby with a wet diaper and feeling sorry for herself and has asked him to please find her a motion picture that she can get lost in. He prese...

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Funny story: The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2012

The Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2012

Vampire movies have been around since the days of silent films. When most people think of vampires the name that comes to mind is Count Dracula. Count Dracula was portrayed in the 1931 motion picture Dracula by the legendary actor Bela Lugosi. The film is considered to be the "Granddaddy" of all vampire movies. The motion picture was followed by three sequels; Dracula's Daughter (1936...

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Funny story: Nadya Suleman and Rosie O'Donnell To Appear In "The Vampire Trolls of Transylvania"

Nadya Suleman and Rosie O'Donnell To Appear In "The Vampire Trolls of Transylvania"

HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon films in association with Durango Grundyweather have just released a media notification memo that filming will soon begin on the vampire troll drama The Vampire Trolls of Transylvania. Grundyweather who will be producing as we...

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Funny story: Vampires Mashup with Umpires for the Next TV Trend

Vampires Mashup with Umpires for the Next TV Trend

Hollywood - Television is drawing new blood from the legends of Transylvania, combining vampires and umpires to create the next big viewing trend. "We knew the vampire concept was losing steam when retail sales of artificial fangs started drop...

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Funny story: A List of 10 Vampire Movies To Be Released This Summer

A List of 10 Vampire Movies To Be Released This Summer

Paragovo Gabskigrad of Sofia, Bulgaria is considered to be the world's foremost expert on vampires. He wrote in his most recent book titled 7,001 Amazingly Amazing Facts About Vampires that vampires have been around ever since September of 1047. Gabskigrad noted that 865 years later in 1912, the first vampire movie was filmed. The motion picture was shot in Great Britain and the title w...

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Funny story: Computer virus eating faces on Facebook

Computer virus eating faces on Facebook

Florida - Hot on the heels of apparent vampires eating peoples brains, a computer virus dubbed "Defacelika" is eating faces on Facebook. When the virus strikes, according to computer scientist Dr. Bunsard Unsticky, working to defeat the virus, i...

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Funny story: Johnny Depp Says He Had So Much Fun Filming "Dark Shadows" With Michelle Pfeiffer That He Almost Gave Back His Entire Salary

Johnny Depp Says He Had So Much Fun Filming "Dark Shadows" With Michelle Pfeiffer That He Almost Gave Back His Entire Salary

HOLLYWOOD - Johnny Depp has appeared in a total of 35 movies including Fear, Loathing, and Losing In Las Vegas, Twice Upon A Time In Mexico, Edward Scissorhands and the sequel Edward Plierfeet. The native of Kentucky stated on The View that if he...

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Funny story: Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer To Star In The Erotic Vampire Epic "May-December Hickies"

Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer To Star In The Erotic Vampire Epic "May-December Hickies"

HOLLYWOOD - Lions Door Films in association with Cloud 13 Pictures has just announced a new vampire movie which will star Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer. The movie May-December Hickies is to be directed by noted film director Charleen Belle-Pinnz...

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