Uri Geller's penis was well enough to take some soup and wave to fans from his hospital bed last night.
Days after the tragic 'wankathon' accident which has left paranormalist Uri Geller fighting for his life, doctors claim that, although there is not much they can do for him, his penis will pull through.
Uri Geller was in hospital last night, with surgeons battling to reattach his severed penis, after a charity wankathon went horribly wrong.
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Leading Rovian ambassador and sometime Kazakh comedian Mr Borat has issued a stiff rebuke via his lawyers after press allegations in the UK that he is the sperm donor responsible for impregnating Dick Cheney's daughter...
Tel Aviv - (Associated Mess): In a rare political interview, the reclusive Israeli spoonbender Uri Geller has told the press that the power of the paranormal led American troops to fugitive Saddam Hussein's hidey-hole bunker.
Spoon Bender extraordinaire Uri Geller has been awarded the "Biggest Bender of the Year" by a popular homosexual oriented magazine this month.
We are told that is was long known friend of Geller, Michael Jackson, who put his name up for the award.
According to prophecies by Nostradamus, uncovered for the first time since the 16th century, Uri Gellar is set to rise to prominence in the world of astrophysics, and become one of the most under-estimated minds in history.
Uri Geller has been told by doctors to rest after being diagnosed with a mild case of the bends during deep water diving in Gibraltar.
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