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Funny story: Fanny Packs. Mandals, and Mom Jeans Oh My

Fanny Packs. Mandals, and Mom Jeans Oh My

When New Yorkers wake up in a cold sweat as a result of a night terror, the location in their head is Times Square (interchangeable with Canal Street, Empire State Building, or red bus). The only times excluded from the terror are between 12am-5am. Why? Because that's when the fanny packs, mandals, and mom jeans have returned to their hotel rooms, avoiding what propaganda taught them would be t...

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Funny story: The Ugly Duckling - a spoof for children

The Ugly Duckling - a spoof for children

Even when he was an egg, Ollie knew he was different to the other ducklings. For a start, his egg was slightly bluish whilst their's were pure brilliant white. Even more obvious, was the size. His egg filled the nest pushing his brothers and sisters to the edge of the nest. Mother Duck loved them all equally, even though Ollie looked different. Where his brothers and sisters were fluffy and...

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Funny story: Southeastern Waltmart Stores Crown Pink Spandex Beauty Queens for 2011

Southeastern Waltmart Stores Crown Pink Spandex Beauty Queens for 2011

Wrapping up their annual summer coupon promotion for industrial strength feminine hygiene products, unbreakable mirrors and quart sized lip hair remover, Waltmart stores in the Southern US capped off the week long event by announcing this year's top...

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Funny story: Man After 40 Successful 'De-Uglifying' Surgeries: "F--k you ugly people"

Man After 40 Successful 'De-Uglifying' Surgeries: "F--k you ugly people"

Chad Ellington wished all his life he could be beautiful -- and forty cosmetic surgeries later his wish has come true. The new Ellington is not only beautiful, aesthetically-speaking, but he now wishes his ugly former compatriots would leave him alo...

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Funny story: Ugly people can earn up to 20% less

Ugly people can earn up to 20% less

A study sponsored by the Facially Unfortunate Commission (FUC) has found that ugly people can earn significantly less than their aesthetically pleasing colleagues. On average it is estimated that having a face like a badger's arse can cause someone t...

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Funny story: New Course Offering: Ugly Churches only Jesus could love

New Course Offering: Ugly Churches only Jesus could love

Harfold State College will add a new art history/religion course to its offerings in the fall semster. Entitled "Ugly Churches only Jesus could love," the course is designed to focus on sorry attempts to please the Lord by building something modern.

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Funny story: Study: 92% of babysitters hired by moms are butt-ugly

Study: 92% of babysitters hired by moms are butt-ugly

HARFOLD, VT--A study conducted by Harfold State College on Harfold dads (16 of them at Riverside Bar & Grill) shows that the vast majority of babysitters found by their childrens' mothers are not pleasant to look at. More than nine out of 10 b...

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Funny story: The ugliest woman in the world

The ugliest woman in the world

Who is the most ugliest woman in the world? Hollywood would have presented her to us. Maya Angelou, Beyonce Knowles or perhaps Pearl Bailey. Who could it be? Correspondent Andy Jackson reports the woman who currently holds the title, at least acc...

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Funny story: Computerized Age Progression Of Kourtney Kardashian: Fugly At 50!

Computerized Age Progression Of Kourtney Kardashian: Fugly At 50!

Tarzana, California - Computer geek Mario Brothers has revealed a startling age progressed photo of troll-like Kourtney Kardashian, the shortest, oldest and bitchiest of the Kardashian sisters. Mario says, "I just thought it would be interest...

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Funny story: Burger King Boss Says British Women Are Ugly

Burger King Boss Says British Women Are Ugly

Burger King chief executive, Bernard Hees, has described British women as ugly and British food as terrible. Although a spokesman for the chain later said Mr Hees regretted the unguarded comments - made to a group of Chicago students - the fall-ou...

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Funny story: Plastic Surgeon Fixes Alexa Rae Joel's Nose, But Couldn't Scrape Off The Ugly.

Plastic Surgeon Fixes Alexa Rae Joel's Nose, But Couldn't Scrape Off The Ugly.

Alexa Ray Joel no longer has her father's nose. Sadly, the daughter of classic rocker Billy Joel and former supermodel Christie Brinkley still looks like Sonic the Hedgehog, all because he plastic surgeon could risk the 24-30 hour surgery that would...

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Funny story: Hideously Ugly Kate Middleton Coin Causes Massive Devaluation of the Pound

Hideously Ugly Kate Middleton Coin Causes Massive Devaluation of the Pound

Britain's economic woes deepened today as the value of the pound sunk beneath .13 EUR. Currency watchers lay the blame at the feet of the Mint's new Royal Wedding coin, which appears to be inspired by a police mug shot. The coin, which stops loo...

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Funny story: Ugly Actors Band Together

Ugly Actors Band Together

In order to protect the rights of the actors who do not possess so pleasant physical attributes, Danny DeVito and friends organized recently the "NOT TALL, NOT DARK, NOT HANDSOME SCREEN ACTORS GUILD" (NTNDNH-SAG) in Los Angeles, California. Membe...

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Funny story: Shocked minger told she's too ugly for primetime TV

Shocked minger told she's too ugly for primetime TV

Former Countryfile presenter Miriam O'Reilly is suing the BBC for age and sex discrimination. Aesthetically challenged Ms O'Reilly, 53, is upset after getting the chop when the show was moved to a primetime slot. An employment tribunal heard this...

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Funny story: Eastenders cast voted "least attractive"

Eastenders cast voted "least attractive"

What kind of people follow soap opera plots? Do they eat properly? Are they nice to their families? Do they have the same friends a month later? Are they safe to drive a car? We may never know the answers to these questions because 15 million people...

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Funny story: Losers of Miss Hideous USA to Contest Final Results

Losers of Miss Hideous USA to Contest Final Results

"Nah, that bitch ain't all that," Miss Mildred Gates, the Second Runner-up and winner of Miss Hideously Ugly Arkansas, bitterly complained during a post-pageant dust-up involving several of the contestants. "I'll be takin' this to the top!" she angr...

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Funny story: Scientists: Ugly People Are Descended From Celery

Scientists: Ugly People Are Descended From Celery

Research scientists at the University of Newcastle have made a startling link between DNA from ugly people and a particular variety of celery mainly used in vegetable packet soups. The research, based on a sample of 540 people who described thems...

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