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Funny satire stories about US Army

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Funny story: U.S.Troops To Tone Down In Libya

U.S.Troops To Tone Down In Libya

President Barrack Obama has vowed that U.S will tone down its presence in Libya as it does not want to be the pre-eminent force in the African country. Effective tomorrow, U.S troops will abandon their traditional bright green mottled digital "Mul...

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Funny story: Army Replaces 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' with 'Don't Pray? Don't Tell'

Army Replaces 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' with 'Don't Pray? Don't Tell'

After receiving the responses to a survey known as the Global Assessment Tool back from scores of soldiers who admit they are atheists, the Army has deemed them spiritually unfit, and is requiring the heathen soldiers to take remedial training to hel...

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Funny story: US Soldiers tested for belief in God

US Soldiers tested for belief in God

US Soldiers are to issued white tunics with red crosses and swords for the Afghan Holy Wars. Richard the Lionheart has been called on to return and replace General Petraeus as Chief of Central Command and Knight Templar for the New Eastern Crusades! TRUE STORY : The US Army has introduced Spirituality Tests for troops. Those who do not show sufficient belief in God are to be black-listed an...

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Funny story: U.S Soldier Receives $1.3 million of "Support" From Ribbon Sales

U.S Soldier Receives $1.3 million of "Support" From Ribbon Sales

(November 11, 2010 -- Houston, TX)… A compelling story of patriotism warmed the nations heart this Veteran's Day as Lt. Bob McGuffie received a remarkable amount of "support" in the form of $1.3 million. McGuffie, who's a true American Hero despite...

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Funny story: Marine General Amos Claims a Ban on Homos With Rifles Necessary To Win War Against Terror.

Marine General Amos Claims a Ban on Homos With Rifles Necessary To Win War Against Terror.

Ensuring that he'll never again get a second bag of pretzels on a US Air flight, the new commandant of the U.S. Marine Corps has alienated every homosexual in the universe by saying that the don't ask, don't tell policy barring gays from serving open...

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Funny story: Don't Ask Don't Tell has U.S. Armed Forces Redesigning Uniforms Living Quarters

Don't Ask Don't Tell has U.S. Armed Forces Redesigning Uniforms Living Quarters

The U.S Armed forces today announced major new changes to uniforms, living quarters and other protocols for the new OPEN Armed Forces Ad campaign. New advertisements featuring the Village People and Elton John, focus on the new open atmosphere the U.

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Funny story: US Military lifts ban on 'Fags'

US Military lifts ban on 'Fags'

In a contraversial move the US Supreme court has taken a dim view of practices within the US military, and ordered a lift of the ban on 'fags'. Military chiefs have reacted by calling the ruling 'not practical'. "How can you train an elite fig...

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Funny story: Iraqi And Afghan Troops To Start Leaving US?

Iraqi And Afghan Troops To Start Leaving US?

Sources in Baghdad and Kabul are saying that Iraqi and Afghan troops stationed in the US may well start to leave the country as early as next Spring. There are thought to be as many as 250,000 active operatives spread far and wide across the US, m...

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Funny story: US Military Psy-ops In Iraq Ordered To Undergo Psychological Evaluation

US Military Psy-ops In Iraq Ordered To Undergo Psychological Evaluation

The entire Psy-ops division of the U.S. Army that has been on duty in Iraq since the wars beginning has been ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Disturbing results have come about as a result of this analysis. The psy-ops, short for psycho...

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Funny story: Top U.S. General Apologizes for Article, then Wipes Ass with It

Top U.S. General Apologizes for Article, then Wipes Ass with It

General Stanley McChrystal, the Top U.S. War Commander in Afghanistan apologized for his role in a, "Rolling Stone" article in which he is quoted as being highly critical of the Obama Administration. From a desolate firebase on the Pakistan b...

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Funny story: U.S. Military Becomes an All-Gay Force

U.S. Military Becomes an All-Gay Force

In a stunning reversal of the Clinton-Era, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy concerning the sexual preferences of U.S. Military personnel, the Obama Administration has decided to go with an all-gay force. Troops that are currently straight have thirty...

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Funny story: United States Raising Zombie Army In Haiti

United States Raising Zombie Army In Haiti

In return for all the United States has done for their country over the years, especially after the recent earthquake, Haiti has given secret American armed forces there the right to raise a huge zombie army in case we suffer another attack like that...

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Funny story: US Forces Launch Secret Offensive By Announcing It To Everyone

US Forces Launch Secret Offensive By Announcing It To Everyone

US and Allied Forces in Afghanistan have begun initial actions to initiate the next phase of US President Barack Obama's new counter insurgency (COIN) operations plan by announcing it to the enemy. Under the new plan, announcing what, when, where,...

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Funny story: Pentagon orders Pink Ouija Board "Secret Taliban Weapon"

Pentagon orders Pink Ouija Board "Secret Taliban Weapon"

The children's sleepover staple since 1967 now comes in hot pink, an edition released two years ago that gets tweens to call on "spirits" to spell out answers to life's pressing questions. It's designed for young girls ages 8 and older, to ask th...

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Funny story: Arms manufacterer drops Bibilical references from gun sights

Arms manufacterer drops Bibilical references from gun sights

US arms manufacturer Murder Inc in Michigan today decided to stop adding Biblical references to its gun sights. Company chairman Henry Eichmann, a devout Christian, said: 'As a Christian I made sure '2 Cor 4:5' and 'JN 12:1' were inscribed on the sig...

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Funny story: US troops issued with gun sights carrying encrypted references to Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code

US troops issued with gun sights carrying encrypted references to Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code

Afghanistan - (Kabulshit): Soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division are firing weapons carrying weird, loosely encrypted inscriptions 'including astrological glyphs' relating to chapters of Dan Brown's hagiography The Da Vinci Code. The branded wea...

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Funny story: Basra - US Army Personnel Unimpressed By Brit Bangers

Basra - US Army Personnel Unimpressed By Brit Bangers

Basra, Iraq. Yesterday - As British forces withdrew from this southern Iraq city, they were replaced by US Army personnel, who immediately complained about the food on offer at the British base. Upon being presented with a Full English Breakfast,...

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