Prime Minister Boris Johnson and a gaggle of other likeminded MPs have today completed phase one (of 74) in a series of “sexual Harassment In The Workplace” seminars. Johnson himself was rather excited by the whole event claiming: "The totty runni…
UK Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, has admitted that there will be “tough choices” to be made over public financing. This coupled with the last ten years of austerity should be music to the ears of those in Northern England who voted to put these cunts in p…
Furniture manufacturers have complained to the UK government that its cabinet is not fit for purpose, and that it will not fulfil the role expected of it. "It is a hastily thrown-together mishmash of planks, nuts and screws," said Jev Ikeason. "I…
British Labour Party leadership contender Jess Phillips has begged members of the party not to vote for her to become the next leader. The outspoken Birmingham lass said “My campaign is truly dreadful, I have shit for brains and I don’t know what I’m...
Polling expert Sir John Curtice, writing in Mystic Meg’s column in The Sun newspaper today, has warned that next Thursday, lame-duck Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, will leave his wallet at home in a rush to get to work. The damning foretelling is bound...
A nationwide change to polling cards means that the election will now be spread over two days. Boris Johnson has insisted that his face be printed next to the Conservative party's candidate on every polling card printed. As a result, there has been a...
Looking like the ghost of a hunchbacked chef that haunts a ruined French patisserie, Prime Minister Boris Johnson performed a radical U-turn on his previous radical U-turn by revoking his earlier U-turn of doing everything everyone wants all at the s...
Voters up and down the country were caught by surprise, after UKIP launched their political manifesto to six people at a local dogging site in Chelmsford. Current UKIP leader, Pat Mountain, was pleased with the reaction to the manifesto, as no one th...
Normally it is an occasion associated with excessive consumerism, fat-bellied bearded men giving gifts, and a drunken day off work. But this year, the election will fall at Christmastime, meaning that it will be even more garish and vomit-inducing th...
This newly-established encyclopedia already shows massive pre-sales, with release date December 24. It bears an array of acknowledgements on its title page: “Fascism is the cockroach of contemporary politics—even a nuclear war will not kill it!...
The UK government has released recommendations on how British people and businesses can cope in the event of a no-deal Brexit. The documents, which were created at a cost of tens of millions of pounds, will be advertised on TV and social media. You c...
The favourite to become Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has removed himself from the Conservative party leadership contest after coming under mounting pressure following Sir Kim Darroch's resignation as British ambassador to Washington. Critics of Mr...
The revelation from Sir Kim Darroch, the UK's ambassador in Washington, who described so-called President Donald Trump's administration as "inept" in leaked emails, has led to a surprise job offer from the reality TV star turned politico, who normall...
Conservative leadership candidate, Boris Johnson, candidly dodged questions about his leadership bid at a press conference about his leadership bid, leaving onlookers agape. Assembled journalists, political aides and random hangers-on were left my...
British Home Secretary Sajid Javid’s remark that Julian Assange is “rightly behind bars” has led to further developments on "how long?" Mr. Javid signed a US extradition request, followed by disclosure that Mr. Assange faces 17 charges and 175 yea...
In a televised debate between contenders to become the new Tory leader (and therefore temporarily Prime Minister), the surprise winner was an empty chair. The chair agreed to take part as a last minute replacement for pie-munching posh scarecrow B...
Inital Impressions Good to drive, and seems fairly reliable. First impressions are good but quickly fade due to overbearing cruise control that steps in when you least need it. Controls are simple, as everything is remote-controlled from a shady o...
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