The UK has made the heart-wrenching decision to resume selling weapons to Saudi Arabia despite knowing full fucking well that they will be used on frightened civilians huddling in refugee camps. This is despite, mere weeks ago, Dominic Raab telling t…
Local billionaire and enthusiastic paper aeroplane make, Harold Diggleby-brough, has laid the gauntlet down to the people of his local village. Mr Diggleby-brough believes that the people of Silsby Tweed are amongst the ugliest in the country, and wa...
Communities Secretary, Robert Jenrick, (nope not a clue either), has defended the government's slightly changed Coronavirus message, saying: "It couldn’t be clearer if it was a clear glass of smooth, sparkling Somerset water. "Moving on from th...
The Lake District is facing “Dramatic Soil Erosion” over the next few years, and, with many leading figures calling for blame to be either appropriated to “the EU” or the “poor”, geologists have a far more sensible explanation. However, this isn’...
The government of Malaysia has told Western governments to stop sending rubbish to them. Britain, France, America and other countries send millions of tons of rubbish to Malaysia each year, with most of it coming from Britain. The rubbish incudes...
The Prime Minister is celebrating after closing one of the biggest trading deals in history with, of all countries, Iran! Under the terms of the 10-year deal, British manufacturers will sell British souvenirs, namely Union Jack flags and Madame Tu...
The announcement that Boris Johnson is going to call his government "The People's Government" has raised alarm bells around Westminster. Such names are common in dictatorships like North Korea, and the implication is that all previous governments wer...
Looking like the ghost of a hunchbacked chef that haunts a ruined French patisserie, Prime Minister Boris Johnson performed a radical U-turn on his previous radical U-turn by revoking his earlier U-turn of doing everything everyone wants all at the s...
A crisis engulfed the sleepy Durham mining village of Grim today, as locals reported several strange weather events throughout the week. Residents were baffled when the usually incessant rain began to stop for up to 20 minutes a day. Geordie G...
Voters up and down the country were caught by surprise, after UKIP launched their political manifesto to six people at a local dogging site in Chelmsford. Current UKIP leader, Pat Mountain, was pleased with the reaction to the manifesto, as no one th...
Recent news on the Assange case indicates that Judge Emma Arbuthnot has recused herself as Mr. Assange’s prosecutor on the grounds of conflict of interest. Just a few days back, Sweden dropped its rape case charges against Assange for the third ti...
The Queen's official dresser has confirmed that she will be going “fur free” this winter. The Queen’s official ottoman and cupboard were unavailable for comment. Animal rights groups have applauded the Queen's decision, and hope it will be a step...
Racist Brits were in uproar toady, after it was discovered 2p in every pound raised for the RNLI would go abroad to help those in need, with hundreds of people with little else to do vowing to start and then cancel a direct debit to the RNLI. With...
The Office of Budget responsibility has laid out the results of its latest study: A No–Deal Brexit could give Britain a £30billion economic hit. Of course, leading Brexiteers immediately denounced the findings as “poppycock and hogwash”, before deman...
Striking new memoranda have stirred world leaders, always sensitive about their leadership prowess. Disclosures from UK’s Ambassador to the US, Sir Kim Darroch, leaked via Isabel Oakeshott of The Daily Mail, indicate just what he thinks of the Tru...
UK authorities have been pleased to announce further assistance on its most famous inmate at Belmarsh Prison, Julian Assange. Saudi Arabia’s MBS arrived yesterday, smiling, with a hand-picked team. These assistants have recently been identified...
London, England U.S. "President" Donald Trump today proved that no one is more unpopular than he is. Greeted by a robot doppelganger of him on a toilet, 10,000 protestors came out in the rain just to show their displeasure with him. This is not th...
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