NASA have confirmed that one of their satellites spotted the lost Malaysian plane being towed by a UFO and it was heading in the direction of Mars! A white light spotted on the Martian service is guiding the UFO and the captured plane towards a ru...
Peterson Air Force Base, El Paso County - A new theory about the plane's disappearance says some sort of alien Trojan took control of its high tech system during an out-of-radar ascent over the Wild Sargasso Sea. Reports of a large low-flying moth...
Reno, NV. - One minute Justin Fardner was about to leave work. The next he was pulling a buzzing UFO from a dangerous apparatus used to reset bowling pins. Fardner, a 69-year-old part-time employee and retired Braille translator, had just ended h...
YOSEMITE PARK, CALIFORNIA - Tourists to this Sierra Nevada National Park expressed a mixture of fear and awe today as they witnessed the appearance of a massive object of many colors in the skies over Yosemite. The object extended completely across...
Special to TPN - After the resounding success of the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare), President Obama has decided to launch a new effort to reinvent the wheel. Leading this initiative will be former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, best known for hav...
Apparently scientists at NASA are having trouble identifying exactly what Google Street pix are pulling in. "At first we all had a good laugh", stated Dr. Douglas Reynolds. "But then the evidence kept piling up." A few reporters have seen the a...
For many years now the leaders of China have had to use a low profile whenever international incidents came into play but now that they are out-producing the other leading nations and into the space industry, they are 'feeling their oats' as some wou...
A woman from Red Mesa, AZ who says she was fired for engaging in personal relations with a footless extraterrestrial filed a lawsuit against her former employer, Socks Socks Socks, Inc. Margaret Shackleberry's lawsuit accuses Arizona-based socks r...
Washington - "It's still unclear which of the two crafts was on top doing the, er, inseminating," a spokesperson for US drone program architect John Brenner said today, "due to freak vibrational fallout interfering with satellite video recorders. Bu...
London - Curators at London's Museum of Natural Hystery have unveiled a meteorite artefuct that once adorned the prow of a spacecraft flown to Earth by Nazi extraterrestrials. The 24cm-long 10kg statue of 'Irony Man' warrior is carved from a rare...
Scotland - Prince Philip has blamed carnivorous aliens for last night's 'meatier shower' that bombarded Balmoral with tons of firey space-sh*t. The equinoctial dump saw a huge dollop of methane-rich ET by-products ejected over Royal Deeside by a m...
When people watching the Olympics' fireworks display at the end of a tedious march of nations saw something in the evening sky, it was not a bird, a plane, nor Superman. If NBC wanted great ratings, they have apparently caught the interest of thos...
London - Tiny alien UFOs disguised as flies, mosquitos and species butterflies such as the Common [Fire 'n'] Brimstone were the top suspects behind the PM's fears. Newly declassified UFO files released today describe how the Blairs fought a conce...
Brussels - Top brass at a NATO summit have ordered the immediate destruction of a Syrian hangar suspected of shielding extraterrestrials involved in the Turkish F-4 Phantom downing. The Krak Des Chevaliers air base has been widely reported of invo...
A Turkish air force jet went down in Syrian waters on Friday, but Turkey's prime minister said he could not confirm media reports that it had been shot down by a UFO. Turkish and Syrian vessels were searching for the plane - which the media id...
London - A lunar-powered battery charger servicing the latest in dildo technology has been outed as the source of an 'alien' hum. Three months of intensive MoD probing investigated paranoid Primrose Hill residents' claims that some sort of extrate...
London - Ufologists fighting for a share of the lucrative Gemini Solar Eclipse prediction market centered on Sunday night's occultation are having none of it, of course. They're siding with Mexican cereologist Jamie Maussan's claims that the 2004...
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