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Funny story: SAS will be in false trees at Royal Wedding.

SAS will be in false trees at Royal Wedding.

Extra security precautions are to be taken by the SAS at Friday's royal wedding to protect the royal family and guests from terrorists. Eight twenty foot high artificial English maple trees are to be positioned around Westminster Abbey with up to...

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Funny story: Dandelions are "A Bunch of Dicks" Say Trees

Dandelions are "A Bunch of Dicks" Say Trees

A group of Dutch Elm trees are saying that they are breaking a decades-old silence to show the nation about the controversy surrounding dandelions. "For years we have been silent about this national tragedy. However, unlike my father, and my fathe...

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Funny story: Can You Live in a Tree?

Can You Live in a Tree?

The question everyone is asking those in favour of forests is : Can you live in a tree? Monkeys can but humans have problems. Therefore sell off the forests, cut the trees down and build houses - making a considerable profit in the process for the developers. A new scheme has been established, after extensive research among trees. They say they convert carbon dioxide into oxygen but this pro...

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Funny story: Tree Bark Diet Guarantees Weight Loss

Tree Bark Diet Guarantees Weight Loss

Two species of trees are known to have edible bark: the Ginkgo biloba, and the Acer pubica, or common exposed maple. Ginkgo is readily available in health food stores and used in various concoctions. Ginkgo is known to promote robust lateral phe...

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Funny story: Shock: Man Has Family Tree Removed

Shock: Man Has Family Tree Removed

A Warwickshire man has been left with no history, after council workers cut down and removed his family tree. The tree, an oak, was positioned in the front garden of his house in a small village, and had stood there since his ancestors moved to th...

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Funny story: Norton Folgate's Theory On Trees

Norton Folgate's Theory On Trees

Professor Norton Folgate has a theory about trees. And, as usual, he was only too willing to share his theory with us. As it is too much like hard work to edit what the Prof witters on about, we are, once again, printing his latest theory in full. "Trees are everywhere. Most people think they are wonderful things. In fact there are some who go around hugging them. Can you believe th...

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Funny story: "Woodman, Spare That Tree!"

"Woodman, Spare That Tree!"

One of the best feuds to surface since the famous Hatfield and McCoys has erupted in the aptly named, one horse town of, Western Mill,near Plymouth. Seemingly, it all started way back in 1991 when broody,overweight, blond, blue-eyed East German ma...

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Funny story: Tree Injured in DWI Crash Sues Ex-Nets' Jayson Williams. "If you are shrubbery or a foreign-born limo driver, expect to be killed," said D.A.

Tree Injured in DWI Crash Sues Ex-Nets' Jayson Williams. "If you are shrubbery or a foreign-born limo driver, expect to be killed," said D.A.

Former shotgun murderer and NBA also-ran Jayson Williams will have to pay $16,433 to the estate of a tree he killed in January, says a Kings County, NY Judge. In January, mere days after being sentenced for ventilating the torso of his limo driver...

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Funny story: Shock: Wind Causes Cornish Tree To Bend

Shock: Wind Causes Cornish Tree To Bend

A sudden and shocking gust of wind in a small cornish village caused a usually straight standing tree to 'lean dramatically'. Eyewitness Kenwyn Cribbs told us "we were all in the pub when this gust came whippin' by! Next thing ol' leafy, thats the...

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Funny story: Cameron from Blue to Green

Cameron from Blue to Green

David Cameron is now trying the green policy in an attempt to gain votes. Yesterday he outlined the Tory Tree Policy which included a tree to be planted for every child in England, which was immediately attacked by people in Wales, Scotland and North...

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Funny story: Local Tree Named 'Son Of A Beech'

Local Tree Named 'Son Of A Beech'

The tree on the corner of Sycamore Avenue and Birch Grove was officially named 'Son Of A Beech' yesterday in a ribbon cutting ceremony by councillor Vincent Wayward. The forty year old beech tree, believed to be the son of another beech tree follo...

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Funny story: Al Gore Fingers Trees

Al Gore Fingers Trees

Copenhagen - Al Gore spoke out this morning about the effect of trees on the 'greening' of earth. "Trees, at night, produce copious amounts of carbon dioxide. They are at the center of all the global warming that no one has been able to prove. For...

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Funny story: Mysterious Kidnappings Of Fir Trees Taking Place Throughout Western Nations!

Mysterious Kidnappings Of Fir Trees Taking Place Throughout Western Nations!

Thousands of fir trees have been mysteriously disappearing from forests around the Western world in the last few weeks. Forest rangers making their rounds have been shocked to find many conifers, mostly young ones between three and six feet tall,...

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Funny story: Obama Says White House Will Not Have Christmas Tree

Obama Says White House Will Not Have Christmas Tree

United States President Barack Obama announced that the White House will set aside tradition and not have a National Christmas Tree in 2009. Obama said that he "did not wish to offend the non-Christians within the country and our Moslem allies with...

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Funny story: Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood.

Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood.

"Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood." - This was the typical response that climate change experts experienced when lobbying a random cross-section of trees during last months investigation into the possibiliti...

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Funny story: Tory woman's affair with a tree

Tory woman's affair with a tree

A Conservative parliamentary candidate faces deselection over an affair she had with a tree more than four years ago. South West Norfolk Conservative Association members are angry Elizabeth Truss did not let them know about the affair. Party lead...

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Funny story: Oxygen shortage stikes Arizona, claims scientist

Oxygen shortage stikes Arizona, claims scientist

PAYSON, AZ - Dr. Harold B. Phallistra of the Payson Institute For Advanced Studies (PIFAS), claimed today in a small press conference held in the lobby of the Institute, that a recent spate of tree deaths in the area has led to an oxygen shortage in...

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