Leading Democratic Party politicians are saying that President Donald Trump is so incompetent, that, after he loses the election this November, they plan to keep him on at the White House in a newly-created role as a Human Toilet Brush. Trump has...
A top consumer analyst has said that the reason behind the perceived madness of panic-buying toilet rolls, is that the Coronavirus and its implications have got people shitting themselves. More than they usually shit, that is. Moys Kenwood, 56,...
A man who used an Asian-style toilet has revealed how, after completing his business, he didn't use toilet tissue to clean his bottom, but, instead, utilised the hand-held water jet - known as a Bum Gun - to complete the task. In Western countries...
Cleaners were called to the scene of an incident earlier this morning, after a man who was desperate to empty his bladder, urinated all over a toilet seat, and also left a puddle of piss on the floor. The man, who cannot be named because of possib...
A man who bought a toilet plunger to be able to deal with his family's constantly-blocked toilet, has described the item as "an invaluable purchase", and "an absolute Godsend". The problem with the toilet at the home of Moys Kenwood, 56, may not h...
A man who urgently needed to visit the toilet in a local shopping center was surprised to discover a poster on the wall that provided diagrammatic instructions on how to use the facilities. Moys Kenwood, 56, was shopping with his family in Battamb...
Tim is a Forgetful Badger. Say hello, Tim. .... He forgot to say Hello. Tim went to the park with his friends. There was Geoffroy the Gerbil, Willy the Weasel, Sally the Stoat, and Friðþjófr the Frog. They played ball. Willy threw...
A crazy Test match ended in crazy fashion yesterday, as Ireland, set a total of only 182 runs to beat England, crumbled in dramatic fashion, and were all out for only 38, much to the surprise of one TV viewer who had gone to the toilet for a crap.
Those liberal-minded Scandinavians are at it again, and this time it's the Swedes, who have unveiled some rather impersonal toilet facilities to try to prevent terrorist activity at Stockholm airport. The male toilets, which can be seen above, are...
The toilet may appear to be an unassuming receptacle for our bodily waste, a friendly porcelain mouth ready to accept our vilest produce. Yet there are people for whom it can be dangerously addictive, to the point of obsession. Karen Jefferson, 47...
Police were called to an incident at Paddington Station in London at the weekend, when a 28-year-old man was arrested for urinating in a public place - the Gentlemen's conveniences located on Platform 1. Guy Court, 28, was apprehended shortly afte...
There was good news for train commuters earlier today, when it was announced that, later this year, several of the major rail operators would be introducing toilets that flush. Train companies are reacting to criticism from passengers, who say tha...
"I just keep forgetting that I don't have a todger any more," said a despondent Doctor, "and, to be frank, I rather miss my old trouser snake." The new Doctor opened up to our Entertainment Editor, Paxton Quigley, in an exclusive interview. "It...
After two and a half years of straining and pushing, Brexit is almost ready to splash down into the toilet bowl of political reality, and flushed into the sewers of history like the steaming turd of an idea that it is. Brexit has marched through t...
A toilet that was displaying an 'Out Of Order' sign was the scene of an unsavoury incident in Hull recently, when a man who was shopping in the city centre realized he was desperate for a babber. Moys Kenwood, 55, was ambling vacantly around the P…
A man travelling by air from Phnom Penh in Cambodia via Hong Kong to Manchester in England, has told how he carried out a comparison study of the toilet facilities in each of the three international airports. First, Moys Kenwood, 55, cast his eyes…
Hairy singer Art Garfunkel, 73, is best known as the eye candy in one-man folk duo Simon and Garfunkel. This week he hit the headlines for different reasons - he broke part of his pelvis after falling off the toilet. "I was pushing really hard, th...
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