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Funny satire stories about The Bachelor

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Funny story: Jake The Bachelor Having Second Thoughts About Vienna: "What The Hell Was I Thinking?"

Jake The Bachelor Having Second Thoughts About Vienna: "What The Hell Was I Thinking?"

DALLAS - Jake Pavelka, the 2010 Bachelor has chosen Vienna Girardi, the woman that he wants to marry, have kids with, and spend the rest of his life with...or maybe not. An inside source says that the 31-year-old Texan commercial pilot has confide...

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Funny story: Jake The Bachelor Shocks Fiance, Show With "I'm Gay!"

Jake The Bachelor Shocks Fiance, Show With "I'm Gay!"

When Jake Pavelka asked the "bride", Vienna Giraldi, to married him he whispered something that many overheard but couldn't decipher. This morning we have gotten the whispered words from an insider, and that it was "I am gay!" No wonder Vienna...

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Funny story: Jake The Bachelor Picks Vienna - The Wicked Witch of The South

Jake The Bachelor Picks Vienna - The Wicked Witch of The South

SANTA LUCIA - Well the waiting is finally over. The Bachelor's bachelor Jake Pavelka has picked the woman of his dreams, the girl of his thoughts, the 'just wait till she takes out her she-devil claws' love of his life. It is amazing how everyone,...

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Funny story: The Bachelor: It's Down To Two, Vienna and Tenley

The Bachelor: It's Down To Two, Vienna and Tenley

HOLLYWOOD - Well it looks like the rose garden has finally been picked clean. After weeks and weeks and weeks, The Bachelor has finally come down to the final two girls; Vienna and Tenley. Yes the two females left standing or perhaps a better phra...

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Funny story: The Bachelor Is Now Down To A Panting Pair

The Bachelor Is Now Down To A Panting Pair

ST. LUCIA - This edition of The Bachelor starts off with Jake Pavelka and Gia, the New York City tampon model, strolling around the local market place, known as El Mercado Bobby. As they walk around, the camera catches Jake on several occasions st...

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Funny story: The Bachelor: Jake The Texas Snake Visits The Four Remaining Girls' Kinfolk

The Bachelor: Jake The Texas Snake Visits The Four Remaining Girls' Kinfolk

LOS ANGELES - The latest episode of The Bachelor is the one where the Bachelor gets to visit the families of the remaining girls, which is now down to four. WELCOME TO NEW YORK: HOME OF "EY WHATCHA LOOKIN' AT?" - The first stop for Jake on his...

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Funny story: The Bachelor Kisses Off Corrie - Sends Her Lips Packing Back To Kissimmee, Florida

The Bachelor Kisses Off Corrie - Sends Her Lips Packing Back To Kissimmee, Florida

SAN FRANCISCO - The Bachelor and his 'Gaggle of Gals' waltzed into the city by the bay, home of the 49ers and Giants. San Francisco, the town where Tony Bennett left his heart, Barry Bonds left his honesty, and Tiger Woods left his...ah lets see,...

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Funny story: The Bachelor - The Claws and Talons Are Coming Out!

The Bachelor - The Claws and Talons Are Coming Out!

PISMO BEACH, California - The Bachelor is down to five females and four are members of The We Hate Vienna The Bitch Club. Vienna, the 23-year-old penguin trainer from Sanford, Florida stated that she doesn't care what the other four girls think be...

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Funny story: The Bachelor Is Down To A Handful: 5 Wedding Bride Wannabees Are Left

The Bachelor Is Down To A Handful: 5 Wedding Bride Wannabees Are Left

HOLLYWOOD - The Bachelor, Jake "The Lucky Dude" Pavelka has narrowed down the field of prospective "Bed Mates" down to five, cinco, funf, cinq, and speaking of sinks, the DG's (desperate gals) are pulling out all of the stops even resorting to throwi...

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Funny story: The Bachelor - Vienna Endears Herself To Jake By Bungee Jumping With Him Off A Bridge

The Bachelor - Vienna Endears Herself To Jake By Bungee Jumping With Him Off A Bridge

LOS ANGELES - On the latest episode of The Bachelor, the girl who has become the one that all of the other girls despise is Vienna. But 23-year-old Vienna is no dummy. She agrees to go bungee-jumping with Jake (Pavelka), even though she is frighte...

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Funny story: The Bachelor: Rozlyn Papa Fights Back!

The Bachelor: Rozlyn Papa Fights Back!

After the rumor mill, which many believe began by the network itself, cranked out the story that "The Bachelor" participant, Rozlyn Papa had been sleeping with a crew member of the show, Papa was kicked off the show. Yesterday, Rozlyn came forwar...

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Funny story: The Bachelor Scandal Saga Continues With Miss P. Thrown Under The Bus

The Bachelor Scandal Saga Continues With Miss P. Thrown Under The Bus

HOLLYWOOD - One of the girls who is vying for the affections of this years Bachelor, Rosarita Velveeta Pappalardi, has been asked to gather up all of her Revlon, Cover Girl, and Maybelline stuff and get the hell out of Dodge. Pappalardi admitted t...

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Funny story: The Bachelor Sex Scandal Hits The Fan

The Bachelor Sex Scandal Hits The Fan

HOLLYWOOD - Well it only took the first show of the new Bachelor season for a scandal to rear its ugly head. One of my show insiders Dick Parsley, who, if truth be told, is a pathological liar, said that one of the contestants had become voluntari...

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Funny story: Ex-Bachelor Andrew Firestone Is Now a New Daddy

Ex-Bachelor Andrew Firestone Is Now a New Daddy

From Bachelor to big daddy, Andrew Firestone was handing out cigars yesterday and had a lot of white teeth showing. Andrew Firestone and wife, Ivana, welcomed their first child early Saturday morning, reports a U.S. Magazine. The former reality...

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Funny story: The Bachelor Jason Now On Apology Tour

The Bachelor Jason Now On Apology Tour

"I realize I'm probably right up there with Osama Bin Laden as the most hated man in America right now," and so The Bachelor Jason Mesnick has embarked on a national "I'm sorry for the last-minute Molly for Melissa uh....Molly switcheroo on national television" tour. First daytime TV stop: The Ellen DeGeneres Show , where he offers fans this old chestnut: "I think what I want to do first is to...

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Funny story: Jason "Crybaby" Mesnick - The Bachelor's Ten Favorite Songs

Jason "Crybaby" Mesnick - The Bachelor's Ten Favorite Songs

SEATTLE - Jason Mesnick, who was ABC's 2009 "Bachelor" spent an awful lot of time crying, sobbing, and weeping on the finale as well as on the two "After The Rose" follow up shows. A reporter for The Seattle Voice-Crier wrote that "Crybaby" Mesnic...

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Funny story: America's Most Hated Man - "Crybaby" Mesnick (aka The Bachelor)

America's Most Hated Man - "Crybaby" Mesnick (aka The Bachelor)

LOS ANGELES - Bernard Madoff, the financial service investment manager who embezzled $50 billion has just been replaced as The Most Hated Man in America. That dubious honor now belongs to Jason Mesnick, who was the bachelor on this season's editi...

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