Rupert Giles studied at Oxford University, but dropped out before earning a history degree to become a voyeur, or "watcher," as his father and grandmother Edna had been before him. Rather than taking his wayward son to task for wasting what could have been a superb education at one of the world's leading universities, Giles' father approved of his decision, affirming it as a fulfillment of his "de...
Theologians have scoured the archaeological evidence and come to the conclusion that God, the supreme creator, is a teapot. "Whenever we do any kind of archaeological dig," said Professor Lupine Hatter, of Manchester University, "we find pottery s...
Yet again the once sleepy village of Little Divot finds itself at the centre of a national scandal after improper use of a rich tea biscuit was discovered at a local tea room. Staff at the Blue Rinse Tea Rooms were left aghast after one of them ca...
We've all done it at some time in the past - taken a rather-too-large sip of a piping hot, freshly-brewed cup of tea - immediately realising, all too late, that it was a tad hotter than we'd imagined, and scalded our mouths and throats! WORK We...
Popular Scientist, Dr. Denver Colorado has been at it again and today proven that a watched kettle will actually boil. Denver, 43, from Cleethorpes University is an absolute Science boffin and loves solving things in the name of Science. I've often thought that this particular statement was a bit of old waffle but never done anything to try to prove it. I've always been a bit scared of ho...
There was a right royal rumble in Barnsley today at the headquarters of 'The Yorkshire Tea Company' when Tommy Cassidy opened a flask of coffee at morning tea break. Tommy was retiring at the end of the week after 47 years service and wanted to...
One day the Sultan of Kybosh was bored. "I am bored", said he, "and I do not know what I shall do. Perhaps I may have the heads cut off some of my lackeys and lickspittles. I think that a bit of lopping might assuage my unbearable ennui. What do you think, Mildred?" "Nay, my lord", quoth Mildred, who was the Sultana of Kybosh, and the Sultan's wife, to boot, not that he ever did, boot her that...
A West London man was recovering with a cup of tea at his desk this afternoon after being shocked by a Spoof-writing colleague's foresight. EIF News & Features stringer, Harry St Bede, was carrying out his normal duties at his office in the Gr...
A shocking new survey has lifted the lid on the sex lives of Brits. After decades of the world thinking that Brits would rather have a cup of Earl Grey than have sex, it now seems we are a race of sexual opportunists with the morals of a politician.
Local man Percival Sullivan was struck dumb today whilst walking his dog when he was issued a glancing blow from a falling Quran! 'Sully', who was dazed and more than slightly confused, but otherwise not seriously injured, took the incident as a w...
A local man is undergoing counselling today following a beverage related miscommunication between him and a friend he was visiting. The events unfolded as the local gent was asked by his friend if he wanted a cuppa, due to the kettle being on and...
There was relief amongst exhausted workers at a Yorkshire factory yesterday afternoon, when an overworked and underpaid junior member of staff came to the rescue and put the kettle on for a cup of tea. Polly - no second name - boiled the water at...
Since smoking was banned in England's prisons the incarcerated smokers have been looking for alternatives to tobacco which has been removed from prison shops. Warders have been offering the nicotine addicted cons cigarettes in exchange for giving...
A Ventnor couple, Julian, 24, and Julie Jules, 24, are to divorce after a row over a teapot. As reported last week, it was discovered that a teapot with matching cup and saucer left to Julian by his grandmother was a valuable antique Dutch teapot...
Julie, 24, and Julian Jules, 25, of Ventnor had a tidy little windfall last week. Julian's grandmother, Jillian, had left them an ornate flowery teapot, single cup and saucer in her will. Jillian Jules was well known in Ventnor, and was often seen...
A group of hippies, outraged that the Tea Party Movement was advertising their Saturday protest rally in Sen. Harry Reid's hometown of Searchlight, Nevada as a conservative Woodstock, decided to teach Palin and her cronies a lesson they'd not soon f...
Father Ted's budget is being done today on Craggy Island, the same day as that idiot Alastair Dullthing, who recently finished last in a Father Ted lookalike contest makes his budget on Bankrupt Island. The two main things Father Ted is got to budget...
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