GREEN BAY - Taylor Swift was in the middle of her concert performance at The Cheddar Cheese Convention Center in Green Bay when she suddenly stopped singing and playing in the middle of a song. The 22-year-old country songstress had just gone into...
LOS ANGELES - Fifty-three-year-old Alec Baldwin the star of television's 30 Rock says that he has never before been kicked off of an airplane flight. He spoke with Ty Tickler of Hollywood Innuendo and told him that he had gotten kicked off of a No...
EAST LOS ANGELES - Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, who is 76-years-old, was speaking to a crowd of well-wishers in East Los Angeles when he was asked if he would ever consider making a citizens arrest. Paul thought for a moment. He grinned and the...
SAN MARTIN, California - The directors of The Frys.com Open Golf Tournament have expressed regret at the recent hot dog tossing incident which was directed at Tiger Woods. A spokesperson for the golf tournament Hoyt "Vermouth" Vermeisterson stated...
TIJUANA, Mexico - Arnold Schwarzenegger traveled down to Tijuana, Mexico to purchase some stress pills which one can legally purchase as long as they are for your own consumption The former governor of California and presently one of its most famo...
Gloucestershire - Fears of a stun gun attack on next Friday's Cheltenham Gold Cup have prompted decisive action by Prestbury Park stewards. A secretive rental agreement with the USA's Belmont Park has seen Cheltenham racecourse authorities instal...
A Toronto police officer is expected to be sentence to daily rape and beatings, after pleading guilty to Threatening Bodily Harm after telling a handcuffed suspect that he would taser him in an uncomfortable place. They're not... ...all gems, everyo...
Kingsthorpe, Northampton - (Deja Vu Mess): It's a spooky flashback to last July's Northumbria siege which saw cops take out pesky Geordie shooter Raoul Moat with a taser. And this afternoon Gazza - the man who very nearly prevented Moat's topping...
Leaked documents from the Department of Education have revealed that a secret trial has taken place, in which teachers have been issued with Tasers at a top private school. The Principal of Nowhere College, Mr George Whacker, said that he had agre...
Sister Gabrielle van der Mal, Mother Superior of the Carmelite Order of Saint Amelie, died last night at Antwerp General Hospital after being "tasered" by the Dutch police during a raid to discover the whereabouts of Benedictine blasphemer, Rameses T...
JACKSONVILLE, Florida - The once popular and proud sports "Wave" has now been replaced by the attention-getting and the downright smarting "Taser." Last week two Philadelphia Phillies fans ran onto the field on different days and were chased all o...
PHILADELPHIA - The Philadelphia Phillies organization hoping to ward off dozens of more fans running onto the field during Phillies baseball games has decided to schedule a "Taser Night." Julie Carolina Fiffenbacker, 51, a spokesperson for the Phi...
In a bid to thwart public disorder, and before the football season really kicks off - or more to the point, before the troublemaking fans kick-off - the Police are to be issued with extremely high-powered Tasar guns. The Secretary of State for Hoo...
KNOXVILLE, Tennessee - Virgil Bob and Kitty Lou Pennypicker were arrested on charges of assaulting each other using Cheetos. The first officer on the scene Sheriff's Deputy Bubba Bob Buckover, Jr., said that when he walked into the trailer everyt...
Poor discipline in schools is a problem for teachers and administrators the world over. In recent times we've seen some innovative ideas in keeping control in the classroom. In Turkey tear gas was lobbed into a school during a clash with resident...
Police armed with Tasers were almost foiled by a thief wearing Wellington boots. Police were called to the Gorton branch of the TSB in the early hours of yesterday morning when the alarm was tripped. The station only being a hundred metres away, o...
Thanks to a recent judicial ruling stating that death by Taser is due to 'excited delirium,' and not aving a million volts up your jacksie, Tasers are to be rebranded as 'Delirium Delivery Tools'...
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