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Funny story: Congressman Ron Paul Talks About Tasering and Pepper Spraying

Congressman Ron Paul Talks About Tasering and Pepper Spraying

EAST LOS ANGELES - Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, who is 76-years-old, was speaking to a crowd of well-wishers in East Los Angeles when he was asked if he would ever consider making a citizens arrest. Paul thought for a moment. He grinned and the...

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Funny story: The Fan Who Threw The Hot Dog At Tiger Woods Has Been Charged With Assault With A 'Relished Weenie'

The Fan Who Threw The Hot Dog At Tiger Woods Has Been Charged With Assault With A 'Relished Weenie'

SAN MARTIN, California - The directors of The Frys.com Open Golf Tournament have expressed regret at the recent hot dog tossing incident which was directed at Tiger Woods. A spokesperson for the golf tournament Hoyt "Vermouth" Vermeisterson stated...

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Funny story: Arnold Schwarzenegger's Trip To Tijuana, Mexico Turns Into A Horrible Nightmare!

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Trip To Tijuana, Mexico Turns Into A Horrible Nightmare!

TIJUANA, Mexico - Arnold Schwarzenegger traveled down to Tijuana, Mexico to purchase some stress pills which one can legally purchase as long as they are for your own consumption The former governor of California and presently one of its most famo...

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Funny story: Cheltenham racecourse installs anti-taser shield amid Gold Cup race knobbling fears

Cheltenham racecourse installs anti-taser shield amid Gold Cup race knobbling fears

Gloucestershire - Fears of a stun gun attack on next Friday's Cheltenham Gold Cup have prompted decisive action by Prestbury Park stewards. A secretive rental agreement with the USA's Belmont Park has seen Cheltenham racecourse authorities instal...

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Funny story: Toronto Cop Pleads Guilty After Threatening to Taser Suspect's Nuts

Toronto Cop Pleads Guilty After Threatening to Taser Suspect's Nuts

A Toronto police officer is expected to be sentence to daily rape and beatings, after pleading guilty to Threatening Bodily Harm after telling a handcuffed suspect that he would taser him in an uncomfortable place. They're not... ...all gems, everyo...

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Funny story: Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Kingsthorpe, Northampton - (Deja Vu Mess): It's a spooky flashback to last July's Northumbria siege which saw cops take out pesky Geordie shooter Raoul Moat with a taser. And this afternoon Gazza - the man who very nearly prevented Moat's topping...

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Funny story: Teachers conduct secret trial with Tasers

Teachers conduct secret trial with Tasers

Leaked documents from the Department of Education have revealed that a secret trial has taken place, in which teachers have been issued with Tasers at a top private school. The Principal of Nowhere College, Mr George Whacker, said that he had agre...

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Funny story: "Tasered" Nun Killed by Dutch Police; Whereabouts of Trojani Still Unknown.

"Tasered" Nun Killed by Dutch Police; Whereabouts of Trojani Still Unknown.

Sister Gabrielle van der Mal, Mother Superior of the Carmelite Order of Saint Amelie, died last night at Antwerp General Hospital after being "tasered" by the Dutch police during a raid to discover the whereabouts of Benedictine blasphemer, Rameses T...

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Funny story: Well It Now Appears That "Fan Tasering" Has Replaced The Once Proud "Wave"

Well It Now Appears That "Fan Tasering" Has Replaced The Once Proud "Wave"

JACKSONVILLE, Florida - The once popular and proud sports "Wave" has now been replaced by the attention-getting and the downright smarting "Taser." Last week two Philadelphia Phillies fans ran onto the field on different days and were chased all o...

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Funny story: The Philadelphia Phillies Organization Has Scheduled A "Taser Night"

The Philadelphia Phillies Organization Has Scheduled A "Taser Night"

PHILADELPHIA - The Philadelphia Phillies organization hoping to ward off dozens of more fans running onto the field during Phillies baseball games has decided to schedule a "Taser Night." Julie Carolina Fiffenbacker, 51, a spokesperson for the Phi...

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Funny story: Police to get extremely high powered Taser gun

Police to get extremely high powered Taser gun

In a bid to thwart public disorder, and before the football season really kicks off - or more to the point, before the troublemaking fans kick-off - the Police are to be issued with extremely high-powered Tasar guns. The Secretary of State for Hoo...

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Funny story: The Frigginest Fightin' Couple In Tennessee

The Frigginest Fightin' Couple In Tennessee

KNOXVILLE, Tennessee - Virgil Bob and Kitty Lou Pennypicker were arrested on charges of assaulting each other using Cheetos. The first officer on the scene Sheriff's Deputy Bubba Bob Buckover, Jr., said that when he walked into the trailer everyt...

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Funny story: Tear Gas And Tasers Tested As New School Discipline Aids

Tear Gas And Tasers Tested As New School Discipline Aids

Poor discipline in schools is a problem for teachers and administrators the world over. In recent times we've seen some innovative ideas in keeping control in the classroom. In Turkey tear gas was lobbed into a school during a clash with resident...

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Funny story: Welly Thief Almost Got Away With It

Welly Thief Almost Got Away With It

Police armed with Tasers were almost foiled by a thief wearing Wellington boots. Police were called to the Gorton branch of the TSB in the early hours of yesterday morning when the alarm was tripped. The station only being a hundred metres away, o...

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Funny story: Tasers to be rebranded

Tasers to be rebranded

Thanks to a recent judicial ruling stating that death by Taser is due to 'excited delirium,' and not aving a million volts up your jacksie, Tasers are to be rebranded as 'Delirium Delivery Tools'...

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Funny story: Company introduces new 2 in 1 taser/dildo; will demonstrate at electronic trade show in Vegas

Company introduces new 2 in 1 taser/dildo; will demonstrate at electronic trade show in Vegas

Wavering, Arizona-based company, Taser Provincial announced its new product today, the taser/vibrating dildo. The C5 taser/vibrating dildo is different from other models in that it is designed take care of all bedroom needs instead of possibly just o...

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Funny story: Terrorism Alert Hits Earnings at Walgreens [WAG] after CNN's Beck Comments

Terrorism Alert Hits Earnings at Walgreens [WAG] after CNN's Beck Comments

Walgreens will be warning investors of a sizable continuing write-off to be charged against this quarter's earnings to urgently implement a counter-terrorism surveillance system into its 6059 stores nationwide.

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