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Funny satire stories about Swimming

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Funny story: Long distance Crocodiles!

Long distance Crocodiles!

Crazy evolutionists are spinning a new yarn. The latest in a long line of improbable tales follows the adventures of the Crocodile. Evon Hekkala of Fordham University in New York and colleagues are responsible for this latest spellbinding fable, i...

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Funny story: Revealed: Nina Dobrev Caught Skinny-Dipping With Friend Last Year

Revealed: Nina Dobrev Caught Skinny-Dipping With Friend Last Year

When a reporter heard Nina Dobrev and some of her friends giggling just after a session in which the crew of "The Vampire Diaries" answered some questions about the television program and if there will be a movie soon, he cornered the group of four l...

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Funny story: Missing abolone diver found alive

Missing abolone diver found alive

A missing South Australian abolone diver has been found alive and well this morning. The sudden disappearance of the man on Thursday sparked a massive search and rescue operation lasting an agonising five minutes. A morning beach walker found the...

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Funny story: Safer Swimming

Safer Swimming

After a series of mishaps in public swimming pools, the government have decided to step in and bring the public swimming baths rule sheet up to date. No longer will it display No Running, No Bombing, No Petting and No Food or Drink. Instead, H...

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Funny story: Hunt on for hot tub burglary gang who take a dip in victims' pools

Hunt on for hot tub burglary gang who take a dip in victims' pools

Yes, 'cheeky burglars' abound in part of England. So far they have struck four times. Each time they have made a "clean" getaway. Police are said to be looking for three 'squeaky-clean' men in their early 20s, according to forensic expert, Luk...

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Funny story: Swimming Pool Bans Flotation Aids On Elf & Safety Grounds

Swimming Pool Bans Flotation Aids On Elf & Safety Grounds

A local swimming pool has banned children's floats on grounds of health and safety. Following an incident where a young child almost choked, having taken a bite out of one of the polystyrene floats, the floats have now been removed from use. Pool...

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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Exclusive: It's Synchronised Swimming!

Wayne Rooney Exclusive: It's Synchronised Swimming!

We can exclusively reveal that it's not money or the attraction of another club that is pulling Wayne Rooney away from Manchester United. He wants to perform in Britain's synchronised swimming team at the 2012 Olympics in London! The shocking n...

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Funny story: Delhi Belly strikes Commonwealth Swimmers

Delhi Belly strikes Commonwealth Swimmers

Stomach cramps, diarrhoea and vomiting is sweeping across the swimming squads at this year's Commonwealth games in Delhi. Team doctors have identified several different bacteria responsible and have concluded that they are picking up the strains from...

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Funny story: Commonwealth Games Swimming Pool 'Full Of Piss'

Commonwealth Games Swimming Pool 'Full Of Piss'

There were calls for the Commonwealth Games swimming pool to be emptied and cleaned tonight, after investigations by games officials found that it was full of urine. The investigation took place after several swimmers complained of stomach upsets...

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Funny story: Shades of Stuart Lubbock at Amanda Holden childhood home pool death tragedy

Shades of Stuart Lubbock at Amanda Holden childhood home pool death tragedy

Bournemouth - (Deep End Mess): Police are probing the death of a young man found at the bottom of a Bournemouth swimming pool. Twenty five year-old Luke Barnes' lifeless body was found on Saturday following a rowdy Friday night party at a house wh...

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Funny story: Black kids in the US can't swim, why?

Black kids in the US can't swim, why?

The US black population cannot swim, don't want to learn and have never bothered, WHY? A US survey has discovered that Blacks just don't like water (swimming in it) and tend to avoid swimming pools and lessons like the pest. A Professor at Yale...

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Funny story: Welsh woman gains six stone after misinterpreting advice from a cross channel swimming coach

Welsh woman gains six stone after misinterpreting advice from a cross channel swimming coach

A 43 year old, divorced mother of four from Tredegar in South Wales recently sued her swimming coach for damages after she misinterpreted his advice to 'cover herself in lard' before attempting to swim the English Channel. The woman (who wishes to re...

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Funny story: Shark Found In Kid's Paddling Pool

Shark Found In Kid's Paddling Pool

Parents and carers were warned today to check their childrens pools after a Great White Shark was found swimming in the paddling pool of a family in Surrey. Mr and Mrs Findus, said their four year old daughter, Marina, was splashing about in the...

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Funny story: Brick Saving to be new Olympic Sport

Brick Saving to be new Olympic Sport

Following England's woeful turn at the World Cup, British sport's chiefs are looking to field a strong team for the 2012 Olympics, to be staged in what is now London, but in future times could be called Cleggsville, or Cameron Villas. Mr Russell...

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Funny story: Swimming Pools Set To Close For Ramadan

Swimming Pools Set To Close For Ramadan

A local council has announced moves to close ALL swimming pools for the duration of the Islamic tradition of fasting during Ramadan. Council leader Duncan Goodhugh said "There is a very real danger that ravenous Muslims will imbibe chlorinated wat...

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Funny story: Phelps swims channel, does flip turn, returns to UK

Phelps swims channel, does flip turn, returns to UK

Michael Phelps, Olympic phenomenon, swam the English Channel in 4 hours 17 minutes, did flip turn and returned in 3 hours and 58 minutes. Asked why he didn't stay in France for a visit Phelps replied, "My rental car was parked in Dover".

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Funny story: Scout breaks world 100 metre swimming record

Scout breaks world 100 metre swimming record

A scout in Lytham St Annes, near Blackpool, has broken the world swimming record for the one hundred metres freestyle thanks to an obscure ruling in the scouting organisation. After examining how dangerous water is, the British Scouts (BS) have de...

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