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Funny satire stories about Stock Market

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Funny story: Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...

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Funny story: Twitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company

Twitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company

Lots of folks are ecstatic that Twitter is now a publicly traded company. But not the Twitter birdies! Word is that they were much happier when the company was a private one, filled with relaxed-looking workers in jeans and T shirts. Now, for...

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Funny story: Catholic Church to be Privatised

Catholic Church to be Privatised

The Catholic Church is to be floated on the Stock Market. Cardinal Karl Profiteri of the Holy See's Banca Ambrosiana has announced that the Church is going to be privatised. At a special conclave of bishops the vote was taken last April during th...

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Funny story: Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE

Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE

In a stunning new move, NYSE Chairman Marsh Carter approved the addition of a new commodity - love - onto the NYSE. Commodities like wheat, corn, soy beans, and pork bellies have long been pedaled through commodities markets. But due to its ethereal...

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Funny story: Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Park Slope, NY - Fuggles the cat wasn't much loved by his new owner, Daniel Stone, who would sooner have gotten rid of him altogether... but then Fuggles became much more valuable. Fuggles had been bestowed upon Mr. Stone by his girlfriend, Sophie...

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Funny story: China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...

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Funny story: Exchequer spread bets away UK coffers on Facebook shares

Exchequer spread bets away UK coffers on Facebook shares

A source in the Government has revealed that persons high up in the treasury have lost all the UK gold resources spread betting them away on the Facebook share offering. "We thought we could gamble our way out of debt with 80% used buying the shar...

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Funny story: Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event. Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.

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Funny story: G20 central banks set to buy all stocks

G20 central banks set to buy all stocks

Wall St. - Stocks rose on the announcement out of the G20 assembly that all stocks would be purchased by the G20 central banks. Recent stock market volatility has the elite concerned that they may loose capital in a market crash, according to ou...

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Funny story: All not well with Zuckerbergs: Priscilla angered by Facebook stock

All not well with Zuckerbergs: Priscilla angered by Facebook stock

Only days into the Zuckerbergs' new life together, Priscilla Chan is enraged with her husband, the NASDAQ, and anyone else who gets in her way. How many shares of Facebook she actually owns is a mystery, but one thing is clear: The stock issued at...

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Funny story: Austerity backlash nixes central banks' stock splurging

Austerity backlash nixes central banks' stock splurging

MUNICH - Ben Bernanke announced at a press conference here today that he was sorry. No more money could be funneled through the central banks of Europe to keep the stock markets afloat. He blamed it on democracy, as exemplified in Greece. "Now...

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Funny story: Sluttymobile Makes Paris Hilton Look Like a Virgin

Sluttymobile Makes Paris Hilton Look Like a Virgin

(New York)Wall Street investors are very nervous after it has been revealed that Sluttymobile phone company is being investigated for fraud and insiders say the details make Paris Hilton look like a Virgin. It is understood that Sluttymobile has...

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Funny story: 'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts

'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts

New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it. "The...

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Funny story: Stock Markets Rise on Reports of Imminent Stock Market Rise

Stock Markets Rise on Reports of Imminent Stock Market Rise

Stock markets rallied this week after Bloomberg news ran a story of an imminent stock market rise. The original source of the story was Elvis Yeung, regular contributor to the Bloomberg channel and investment analyst for Texas based S.F. Prophecy &am...

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Funny story: Madoff fraud impacts investors worldwide, but not pissed-off Harfold investor

Madoff fraud impacts investors worldwide, but not pissed-off Harfold investor

HARFOLD, Vt.--Harfold resident Bertram Cooke has lost thousands of dollars in the stock market's free-fall that started last week. In all, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has lost about 7% in five business days. However, Cooke is livid that he wa...

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Funny story: Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Impacting the S&P, Nikkei and European markets today, news of last night's announcement over the Canadian Beer Industry bailout saw stock futures climb sharply at each market's opening bell. Canadian Senate members approved the bailout after a...

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