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Funny story: China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...

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Funny story: Exchequer spread bets away UK coffers on Facebook shares

Exchequer spread bets away UK coffers on Facebook shares

A source in the Government has revealed that persons high up in the treasury have lost all the UK gold resources spread betting them away on the Facebook share offering. "We thought we could gamble our way out of debt with 80% used buying the shar...

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Funny story: Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...

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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event. Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.

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Funny story: G20 central banks set to buy all stocks

G20 central banks set to buy all stocks

Wall St. - Stocks rose on the announcement out of the G20 assembly that all stocks would be purchased by the G20 central banks. Recent stock market volatility has the elite concerned that they may loose capital in a market crash, according to ou...

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Funny story: All not well with Zuckerbergs: Priscilla angered by Facebook stock

All not well with Zuckerbergs: Priscilla angered by Facebook stock

Only days into the Zuckerbergs' new life together, Priscilla Chan is enraged with her husband, the NASDAQ, and anyone else who gets in her way. How many shares of Facebook she actually owns is a mystery, but one thing is clear: The stock issued at...

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Funny story: Austerity backlash nixes central banks' stock splurging

Austerity backlash nixes central banks' stock splurging

MUNICH - Ben Bernanke announced at a press conference here today that he was sorry. No more money could be funneled through the central banks of Europe to keep the stock markets afloat. He blamed it on democracy, as exemplified in Greece. "Now...

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Funny story: Sluttymobile Makes Paris Hilton Look Like a Virgin

Sluttymobile Makes Paris Hilton Look Like a Virgin

(New York)Wall Street investors are very nervous after it has been revealed that Sluttymobile phone company is being investigated for fraud and insiders say the details make Paris Hilton look like a Virgin. It is understood that Sluttymobile has...

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Funny story: 'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts

'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts

New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it. "The...

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Funny story: Stock Markets Rise on Reports of Imminent Stock Market Rise

Stock Markets Rise on Reports of Imminent Stock Market Rise

Stock markets rallied this week after Bloomberg news ran a story of an imminent stock market rise. The original source of the story was Elvis Yeung, regular contributor to the Bloomberg channel and investment analyst for Texas based S.F. Prophecy &am...

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Funny story: Madoff fraud impacts investors worldwide, but not pissed-off Harfold investor

Madoff fraud impacts investors worldwide, but not pissed-off Harfold investor

HARFOLD, Vt.--Harfold resident Bertram Cooke has lost thousands of dollars in the stock market's free-fall that started last week. In all, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has lost about 7% in five business days. However, Cooke is livid that he wa...

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Funny story: Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Markets Recover on Canadian Beer Industry Bailout News

Impacting the S&P, Nikkei and European markets today, news of last night's announcement over the Canadian Beer Industry bailout saw stock futures climb sharply at each market's opening bell. Canadian Senate members approved the bailout after a...

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Funny story: Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

A loud fart that occurred on the floor of the Estonian Parliament ignited panic and pandemonium on Wall Street, leading to a mass selloff of stocks by investors causing the Dow Jones Industrial Average to drop more than 1 million points, most of whic...

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Funny story: Rogue Trader Makes $2 Trillion In One Day

Rogue Trader Makes $2 Trillion In One Day

Recent history is littered with stories from the financial markets of so called "rogue traders" who have made massive irresponsible bets and lost, resulting in losses often running into the billions. It stands to reason that with so many idiots rolli...

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Funny story: Obama Causes McDonald's Stock Price to Double

Obama Causes McDonald's Stock Price to Double

Washington DC: The share price of McDonald's Corporation has doubled on the NYSE. Market analysts believe the jump in shareholder value was a consequence of President Obama's latest executive order. The president's executive order sends Thanksgivi...

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Funny story: Apple and Blackberry Crumble

Apple and Blackberry Crumble

After the tragic news of the death of Apple guru, Steve Jobs, and the recent problems that have beset RIM's Blackberry systems, share prices at both companies have fallen alarmingly. "Although this is the ideal opportunity for a great headline," s...

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Funny story: 'Occupy Wall Street' even makes its way into rural Vermont, although no one is sure why

'Occupy Wall Street' even makes its way into rural Vermont, although no one is sure why

HARFOLD, Vt.--Occupy Wall Street protesters continued to appear this week in towns across the nation which clearly no one, including presidential candidates, gives a shit about. Seven senior citizens sat in chairs in the parking lot of the Harfold...

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