BILLINGSGATE POST: This morning, in a display of chutzpah that defied transcendental reality, President Trump descended out of a cloud like an existential chimera. Something was different about him. On the lawn outside the White House, just before...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Remarkably, after years of experimenting with natural ingredients, ranging from chicken manure to cannabis, Dr. Billingsgate has discovered an extract that will make all other salves and lotions obsolete. Working out of his iso...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim Everdingle was driving around Washington and he sees a sign in front of a house in the suburbs. “Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell, and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. Slim goes into the b...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The first question Rachel Maddow asked when it was her turn to question the Democrat candidates was: “Which one of you is Pocahontas and which of you is Yang?” Yang, obviously an inscrutable Oriental; Pocahontas, on the other...
BILLINGSGATE POST: As a select squadron of buzzards flew over the remains of the 63 camels that met their maker in the onslaught of Sidewinder missiles that took out the best and brightest of Iran’s vaunted distribution network, an eerie calm came ov...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the asymmetric battle between Iran and the United States, Iran shot down a RQ-4 Global Hawk in retaliation for the Sidewinder attack which took out 63 dromedaries earlier this week. This unmanned drone - which cost American tax...
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an extreme example of asymmetric warfare, President Trump retaliated against Iran for attacks on oil tankers in the Persian Gulf by unleashing a barrage of Sidewinder Missiles this morning. Early satellite photos show camel bod...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Yielding to pressure from within the Democrat Party to address environmental issues, former Vice President Joe Biden told a gathering of Ottumwa, Iowa hog farmers that if elected, he would reduce the size of Americans by 50%. “...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim was never the smooth talker who instinctively said the right thing. Pretty little Simone, his third wife, thought she had won the matrimonial equivalent of lotto when Slim proposed to her on Facebook. Tired of Moscow’s brut...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The good, the bad and the ugly: Slim Everdingle has seen it all. But, after reviewing the twenty-plus candidates who aspire to run against Donald Trump for the presidency, only one - Pocahontas - put arrows in his quiver. The...
BILLINGSGATE POST: “SKUNK ALPHA! SKUNK ALPHA!” screamed Navy Ensign Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Slim Everdingle, who was driving the two-seater F-15E Strike Fighter on a routine training mission out of Naval Air Station...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The war of words between President Trump and Nancy Pelosi escalated dramatically this past week. After Nancy insulted President Trump by questioning his temperament and mental fitness by suggesting that Trump’s family and staff s...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Those beady eyes that peered back at President Trump from the mirror when he adjusted his albino raccoon hairpiece missed nothing. The gift from Vladimir Putin to Trump was a stealth bomb. Somehow, the Secret Service failed to fin...
BILLINGSGATE POST: “I’m trying to think, but nothing happens.” The first words of Joe Biden upon recovering from having his head cryogenically frozen at minus 321 degrees Fahrenheit were little different than before he had the experimental treatmen...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim said he saw it coming: Pretty face, nice ass, low cut blouse with revealing cleavage; her 'come hither' smile said it all. In the Looking-Glass War led by Comey, Clapper and Brennan, against the forces of President Trump,...
BILLINGSGATE POST: Live from Des Moines, Iowa: Former Vice-President Joe Biden, still recovering from a partial lobotomy and hair transplant, was asked by rogue reporter, Slim Everdingle, how he was going to fund his Medicare for all program. Po...
BILLINGSGATE POST: “I believe her.” Slim Everdingle told his sidekick. “Irina told me that she threw away my collection of $20 Gold Double Eagles because their dates had expired.” Slim estimated that there were at least 100 of these babies that...
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