A 4-year-old shark has suffered serious injuries to its back and tail fin in Australia's tenth surfer attack this month. Australia normally has about 15 surfer attacks per year - some of them fatal. But there already have been 10 attacks this...
Following the fatal attack on an American tourist by a Great White shark this week, the Western Australian government has legalized hunting and killing the type of Great Whites that pose a threat to human life. Camomile Aborhugger, a one-legged, a...
The Marshall Islands has declared an area in the Pacific Ocean as the hugest shark sanctuary on the planet. Hunting shark fins for aphrodisiac purposes is forbidden so the Chinese will have to stick with viagra. After declaring the region a shark...
Reports are coming in from Cornwall that a man-eating fridge freezer has been spotted basking in St Ives waters: "The massive beast came within yards of my boat as i was trawling round Zennor Head" said fisherman Blimey Windy. Now speculation is m...
Do you have debts? Do you struggle to repay what you owe? Do you worry about your health and that of your family? If so, you are not alone. Thousands of people are in the same boat. It seems like everyone is after your money doesn't it? And there is never enough to go round. Well some people have discovered a way to get help. "Carol Vordeman's" Consolidated Loans and Leg Brokerage of...
Worthing lifeguard, Eric Clutterbuck, 76, was astonished to see a great white shark basking in the shallows of the English Channel, just off the coast of Worthing. "I wasn't sure at first," he told reporters. "I had to go and fetch me specs from m...
The acclaimed director was accused by deranged Daily Mail reader, Cosmo Pelican, 76, of Musselborough, of provoking two fatal shark attacks in the Seychelles in recent days. The incidents led to the tragic and bloody demises of two men, one a Fren...
Rhossili, Wales: 400 nudists in their "Birthday Suits" rushed into the freezing Irish Sea after hearing that the deadly White Tip Shark was searching for something to eat around the UK coast. The nudists, mainly shark lovers and "Loonies" were des...
One of the most deadliest, vicious, wicked, evil sharks on the planet has decided to give the UK a visit. The shark called the Oceanic White Tip Shark, was spotted by drunken fishermen having a good old piss-up during a fishing cruise a mile off of...
The Tsunami that hit California brought with it several unintended consequences as Marine Border Patrol reports are coming in of Great White Sharks having surfed their way up the Colorado River snacking on several illegal immigrants attempting to flo...
A missing South Australian abolone diver has been found alive and well this morning. The sudden disappearance of the man on Thursday sparked a massive search and rescue operation lasting an agonising five minutes. A morning beach walker found the...
After repeated attempts by the Israeli spy agency to assassinate Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak using highly trained creatures ranging from infected lice to specially-trained birds of prey laden with tiny explosive packets, they have finally succee...
GAINESVILLE, FL - This time of year college students start putting away their books and start planning for Spring Vacation, once again only weeks away. This annual rite of passage means making new friends and non-stop partying. And as their parents v...
Gordon Ramsay, the chef (44), was doused in petrol and held at gunpoint while investigating illegal fishing for a television series. A simple trip abroad to look into illegal fishing for shark fins turned into horror for Gordon Ramsey and the TV crew. Surprise! Surprise. What the hell did they expect? Did they expect law-breaking Costa Ricans to welcome a pack of nosey bloody foreigners w...
London - (Shark And Awe): Tiny loan shark tadpoles stranded in the Hype Park water feature have tested DNA positive. Stuxnet inspired cyberphishing expeditions earlier this year tracked natural migration and globule (sic) warring to the Red Sea re...
Just when everyone was beginning to get tired of Wikileaks exposures of blabbing diplomats the US Government has set out on a two pronged campaign to breath more life into the Wikileaks campaign. First they issued a Shark Alert against the Wikilea...
The world is stunned by news from Egypt, where officials have closed area beaches because a German woman died Sunday after being attacked by a shark in waters off Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. SNL's Seth Meyers Stole Another Joke!! Nice joke, about Egy...
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