Showing:

Funny satire stories about Security

Try another search?

Funny story: PM Orders More Troops To Olympic Village Following Friday's Security Breach!

PM Orders More Troops To Olympic Village Following Friday's Security Breach!

The Prime Minister has ordered two hundred additional troops to be deployed at London's Olympic Village as a result of the now confirmed breach of security there last Friday night when a black cat somehow managed to slip iundetected into the main Oly...

Read full story
Funny story: Pound shop security guards to fill in at the Olympics

Pound shop security guards to fill in at the Olympics

With G4S's massive shortfall in security personnel for the Olympics, pound shops up and down the nation have given permission for their security guards to step in and fill the breach. "They're very good," said Quid Pro Quo owner, Jeremy Stirling.

Read full story
Funny story: Olympic Security Problem Solved!

Olympic Security Problem Solved!

Ministers have denied there is to be a shortfall in security in the coming Olympic Games. They insisted this was an "oversight" and security is to be expected at full capacity. Brian Binns, MP for Heathrow and Gatwick said "I don't know what all...

Read full story
Funny story: LulzSec claim responsibility for Banking systems crash

LulzSec claim responsibility for Banking systems crash

Thousands of customers were left locked out of their bank accounts across the UK this week as a popular high street bank, that cannot be named for technical reasons, lost complete control of it's computing systems. ATMs, on-line banking and chip and...

Read full story
Funny story: Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!

Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!

The government has raised the UK's current terrorist threat level to 'severe', meaning a terrorist attack is now thought to be 'highly likely', following an incident at the new Olympic Park in East London this morning after a fox was seen outside the...

Read full story
Funny story: Two Police Divers Missing Overnight Conducting Jubilee Pageant Security Duties

Two Police Divers Missing Overnight Conducting Jubilee Pageant Security Duties

Although details remain somewhat sketchy at the moment, it appears reasonably certain that two police divers, conducting underwater security operations ahead of the Diamond Jubilee Pageant went missing last night in the vicinity of Tower Bridge. W...

Read full story
Funny story: Build-a-bugger conference fails to regulate internet

Build-a-bugger conference fails to regulate internet

Virginia - At attempt to regulate the internet went awry today when the official order to shut down the internet for the ninety-nine percent failed to make it past the hotel firewall, according to our hotel mole at the scene, Ms. Kay Sparks. Mr. .

Read full story
Funny story: Jimmy Carter Named Director of Homeland Carpentry!

Jimmy Carter Named Director of Homeland Carpentry!

Partly to give him something to do and partly to keep him out of trouble, losing votes for President's re-election campaign in the South, former President Jimmy Carter of Plains, Georgia has been named 'Director of US Homeland Carpentry!' "I promi...

Read full story
Funny story: Advice, Support, & Tips for Security Guards - from Inchcock - Part One

Advice, Support, & Tips for Security Guards - from Inchcock - Part One

Copied from the author's first and Editors Comments page, of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 147, published on October 2009. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the firm never to have taken a d...

Read full story
Funny story: Airport Security Detains One Year-Old For Possible Bomb Materials In Diaper - "Goo-goo, ga-ga" Says Potential Terrorist

Airport Security Detains One Year-Old For Possible Bomb Materials In Diaper - "Goo-goo, ga-ga" Says Potential Terrorist

Salt Lake City - Security here at the Salt Lake City Airport detained a toddler after an officer smelled "a potential terrorist substance" coming from the child's diaper. One year-old Christopher Billingsly, known as Teddy Bear to those who love h...

Read full story
Funny story: Shopping: The Manchester Way

Shopping: The Manchester Way

Two femme Fatales were arrested by the police yesterday after their daring robbery was foiled by most high tech (and unstoppable) of police tactics. The stationary, highly visible security camera. The two woman gang, made up of Rose "The Flowerpo...

Read full story
Funny story: Big cat security

Big cat security

Security at the 2012 Olympics will be as tight as its ever been but experts have said they are training up tigers to deal with any major trouble makers. "The eyes of the world will be on us and if we let trouble get out of hand we'll be the laughi...

Read full story
Funny story: London 2012: Surface-to-air missile defences for Olympic Games

London 2012: Surface-to-air missile defences for Olympic Games

Surface-to-air missiles could be used to protect the skies over London during the 2012 Olympic Games. Defence Secretary Philip Hammond said they would be rolled out if military top brass decide they are needed. Mr. Hammond told us, "We're intendin...

Read full story
Funny story: Cyber Attacks Investigators Focus On Worthing 'Silver Surfers'

Cyber Attacks Investigators Focus On Worthing 'Silver Surfers'

International authorities investigating a spate of cyber attacks are concentrating their efforts on the UK south coast town of Worthing. Recent attacks, described as an epidemic by security specialists, have seen US defence officials' e-mails hack...

Read full story
Funny story: Bad case of the runs causes security scares on Sept. 11 flight

Bad case of the runs causes security scares on Sept. 11 flight

"Don't eat Mabel's baked beans before a September 11 flight," was the response given by Willy Grey to officials after an American Airlines flight was escorted to Atlanta by F-16 fighter jets. Flight personnel alerted the pilot after noticing two p...

Read full story
Funny story: Penis Biometrics Installed In Vatican City

Penis Biometrics Installed In Vatican City

A New era in Vatican security has been realized today. The introduction of Genital Biometrics to Vatican City, brings with it much hope for the rehabilitation of Holy Mother Church's reputation. This high tech solution to an age old problem is the cu...

Read full story
Funny story: Security Guard required for work in the Nottingham area

Security Guard required for work in the Nottingham area

Security Guard required for work in the Nottingham area Must be able to speak, and understand some English Have own transport (Bicycle Or bus pass) Be aged between 18 to 96 (Other ages considered) Ex-taxi drivers welcome It would be advantageous, if the applicant has the ability to be surly, sneer, spit, swear, and senticous (Prickly-thorny) Be prepared to work up to 110 hours a...

Read full story

Breaking news…
Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more