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Funny story: The Scottish Santa Claus

The Scottish Santa Claus

There are few Christmas traditions more familiar and charming than hanging up a stocking for Father Christmas, leaving him a mince pie and a carrot for his reindeer. But things are done a bit differently in Scotland. There it is customary to leave out a drop of whisky and a few cans of Stella. The Scottish Santa needs fuel to keep him going through the long, dark and blurry Scottish night. H...

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Funny story: New Scottish pricing policy to cost food in units of alcohol that could be purchased

New Scottish pricing policy to cost food in units of alcohol that could be purchased

SNP plans to introduce a new pricing policy in Scotland where the cost of food will be equated to the alternative number of units of alcohol that could be purchased for the same cost, have been broadly welcomed. Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon s...

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Funny story: Scots invade Greece as they flog off their wine at 50p a bottle!

Scots invade Greece as they flog off their wine at 50p a bottle!

The Eurozone crisis, caused mainly by Greece defaulting on its debts, has forced the Greeks into desperate measures and leading the way are their winemakers. Athens announced that all Greek wines will be flogged off at 50p a bottle, in spite of vi...

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Funny story: Scottish Football Poised for Thrilling Season

Scottish Football Poised for Thrilling Season

Pundits across Scotland are rubbing their hands at anticipation at what promises to be one of the most enthralling campaigns for many years. "I can't wait" says Dundee football correspondent Matty McStay, "United have got in the exciting talent, y...

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Funny story: Alleged comedian Frankie Boyle to be the new voice of Sat Nav

Alleged comedian Frankie Boyle to be the new voice of Sat Nav

In a unique press reception held in the form of a swearing-in ceremony, the alleged comedian Frankie Boyle has been announced as the new voice for satellite navigation systems. Popular systems Tim-Tim and Germain have confirmed that users can now...

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Funny story: The Aberdeen Almanac

The Aberdeen Almanac

Fit like, abodys. Its me wi' the ferst o' mah midweek conflabs aboot fitever's been oan mah mind ower the last puckle days. Weel, mah guidsel an mah freends One Eyed Boab, Pisa Pete (he's got ae leg shoarter thun the ither so he hiz a helluva slant), Stumpy Nick an' Dode the Dreep (fa bide in the orramin's bothy doon the road), huv bin crackin' awa an' agree thit ane o' the biggest vexes in...

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Funny story: An Introduction to Scottish Cuisine

An Introduction to Scottish Cuisine

Scottish food is not universally known for its quality or even its health benefits, but one entrepreneuring young chef has decided that there is a gap in the market for a Scottish restaurant in London. Hamish McSporran, originally from Auchtermuchty, opened his restaurant "Le Jock" last month and has received rave reviews. He spoke exclusively to TheSpoof.com. "It's all aboot cheapness," he...

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Funny story: Billy Connolly Not Scottish!

Billy Connolly Not Scottish!

In an interview with armfeetandtoe, The Big Yin confessed to being English and proud of it! "I have, for many years, been living with this terrible secret, and it was only with the help of my wife, Pamela a world renoun Psychiatrist, that I am abl...

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Funny story: Campbells banned on The Glencoe Massacre Anniversary

Campbells banned on The Glencoe Massacre Anniversary

Branches of McDonalds worldwide have put up notices at the entrances to their premises Banning All Campbells. It is the anniversary of the massacre of Glencoe which took place on the 13th February 1692 when the Campbells slaughtered their hosts th...

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Funny story: Cameron Clan tell David Cameron he is a disgrace to the name

Cameron Clan tell David Cameron he is a disgrace to the name

Ewan Cameron from Inverness a spokesperson for Clan Cameron has spoken out against David Cameron current leader of the Tories and the Tory Twit who is destined to be next Prime Minister of the UK. Ewan has historical records that show that the Cam...

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Funny story: Ku Klux Klan under attack from Scottish Clan Man

Ku Klux Klan under attack from Scottish Clan Man

Scottish Historian Ranald MacDonald has caused outrage by pointing out the bad stuff Scotland gave the World as well as the good stuff. Just as the Brits like to keep quite about the 1.5 BILLION people they killed in India and they countless others o...

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Funny story: 'Arthur Daley and the Scottish Managers'

'Arthur Daley and the Scottish Managers'

[Scene: The Winchester Club, London] 'So get round to the lockup as soon as you've had your drink, Terry, I've got a large delivery of Scottish managers needing unloading.' 'Do what?' 'You know, lots of Scottish football managers. There'll be a few crates of Moyeses and Coyles, and if we're lucky maybe a Ferguson or two. But don't let them Jocks sell you short, you know how canny they like to b...

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Funny story: Scottish Man Who Says "That's Thinkin' With Your Dipstick" Revealed

Scottish Man Who Says "That's Thinkin' With Your Dipstick" Revealed

In a series of television commercials for a major oil company, a Scottish man runs around hitting people who choose the wrong brand for their cars. He swats them on the back of their legs and says "Think with your dipstick, Jimmy" or "That's thinkin...

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Funny story: Scottish Devolution Experiment To Be Abandoned?

Scottish Devolution Experiment To Be Abandoned?

The Scots have aspired to their own government for centuries and the Scottish Parliament was established in Edinburgh 10 years ago. The parliamentary building, Holyrood House, vastly exceeded its budget in terms of time and cost and was a white el...

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Funny story: Jockie Waterstone Admits He's Really Scottish - Swears A Lot

Jockie Waterstone Admits He's Really Scottish - Swears A Lot

After monopolising a forum thread and hurling vile abuse at fellow writers on popular satirical website TheSpoof.com, supposed Cockney, Jockie Waterstone was finally outed by investigative reporters and revealed not to be a 15 year old Scottish girl...

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Funny story: Too Many Scottish People

Too Many Scottish People

A survey suggests that there are too many Scottish people and that there should be a cull. The Scottish have become a problem since being introduced in an attempt to rid us of the Welsh and the Irish, the main infestation occuring in an area known as...

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Funny story: Scottish Stargate

Scottish Stargate

Rosslyn Chapel is a 15th century medieval chapel rich in unusual carvings and masonic symbolism it was recently popularised by Dan Browns novel The Da Vinci Code as the possible resting place of the holy grail. There has been talk in recent years...

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