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Funny satire stories about Scientology

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Funny story: Tom Cruise to Ditch Scientology for Children of God

Tom Cruise to Ditch Scientology for Children of God

Tom Cruise announced today that he was quitting the Church of Scientology to join the Children of God. The Children of God, who also call themselves Family International or Family of Love, have long been known as kind of a Christian sex cult, who be...

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Funny story: Dick Cheney Joins Church of Scientology

Dick Cheney Joins Church of Scientology

Omaha, NE It was announced today that former vice-president Dick Cheney has joined the Church of Scientology and will attend Scientology classes at the Celebrity Center of Casper, Wyoming. He will be its only member (the church has also been trying t...

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Funny story: Kim Jong-Un Wants Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom to Join His Axis of Evil

Kim Jong-Un Wants Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom to Join His Axis of Evil

Kim Jong-Un was confounded in his attempts to get Lex Luthor and Dr. Doom to join his Axis of Evil. The diminutive dictator (who really knows how to put the 'dic' in dictator) has had 19 communications officers executed so far for not contacting Luth...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise has sense of smell removed; science says, "Smell is effeminate."

Tom Cruise has sense of smell removed; science says, "Smell is effeminate."

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Actor, producer, and World-renowned movie star Tom Cruise underwent a rare elective surgery last Thursday at Cedar Sinai in Los Angeles. Mr. Cruise had his sense of smell removed; this comes after the National Science Foundation m...

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Funny story: Heads of North Korea and Scientology Will Conduct Summit of Evil With Special Musical Guest Kanye West

Heads of North Korea and Scientology Will Conduct Summit of Evil With Special Musical Guest Kanye West

Clearwater, FL - Kim Jong Un, despot of North Korea, and David Miscavige, dictator of Scientology, and Kanye West will meet on the Winter Solstice, December 21, to discuss how to increase the evil quotient in the world today. They have invited s...

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Funny story: L. Ron Hubbard Returns, Threatens to Release Xenu Unless Paid 1 Trillion Dollars

L. Ron Hubbard Returns, Threatens to Release Xenu Unless Paid 1 Trillion Dollars

Clearwater, FLL.Ron Hubbard returned to a meat body today after traveling to Target Two and back following his death in 1986. As everyone in the world knows (except low-level Scientologists), Xenu was the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy 75...

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Funny story: Head of Scientology Concert Rider

Head of Scientology Concert Rider

Before David Miscavige, the Pope of Scientology, can make an appearance at YOUR venue, the following must be adhered to: 1. Mr. Miscaviage must have two 16 course dinners waiting for him after his bloviating speech as he will be very hungry from using the teleprompter so much. He will choose which meal he feels like having and the other one should be tossed. Also, there should be rice and bea...

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Funny story: Kim Jong Un, Ann Coulter, and Scientology Head David Miscaviage Form Axis of Evil

Kim Jong Un, Ann Coulter, and Scientology Head David Miscaviage Form Axis of Evil

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada-The Chief Computer Hacker and Head of Intelligence for Canada, Dudley Trudeau, announced today that he had intercepted details of a secret meeting between North Korean and Scientology dictators Kim Jong Un and David Miscaviage...

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Funny story: New L Ron Hubbard temple gives credence to Clearwater Scientology revival

New L Ron Hubbard temple gives credence to Clearwater Scientology revival

Clearwater, Florida - Looking more like a massive concrete aircraft hangar than a new age brainwashing machine the brutalist, $150 million erection has been greeted cautiously as a shot in the arm for the local economy by Clearwater mayor Bud Boodeek...

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Funny story: "The Enlightenment... Reason Triumphing" - A New Movie

"The Enlightenment... Reason Triumphing" - A New Movie

Hollywood Freemasons in a bid to spruce up their new image ... "we are not a secret society but a society with secrets"... and to mark their coming out of hiding after five centuries of back-room shenanigans, have financed and written a movie called "The Enlightenment". Despite psychotic editing and direction, loony tunes story line, atrocious acting, idiot dialogue and extravagantly corny s...

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Funny story: Dean R. Koontz

Dean R. Koontz

Dean R. Koontz, known (by colleague and competitor Stephen King) as "the Stephen King of the West Coast," dissociates himself with horror, saying, "To be a horror writer, one must be a horrible writer." He is not to be confused with his fictional alter ego, horror writer Dean Koontz. Koontz was born in Pennsylvania, under a host of pseudonyms, and conceived the plots of his first 33 novels whi...

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Funny story: Kent Bigfoot traced to Lisa Marie Presley's country pile

Kent Bigfoot traced to Lisa Marie Presley's country pile

Garden of England - "Maybe it's an escapee from the Scientologists' Saint Hill Manor bunker," retired local X-Files sleuth Bob 'Mulder' Damson commented as news of the eight foot beastie's sighting broke. The ruddy-furred yeti seen marauding Royal...

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Funny story: Scientology temple trumps 'Westminster Abbey' crop circle theory

Scientology temple trumps 'Westminster Abbey' crop circle theory

Stanton St Bernard, Wiltshire - Five teardrop pendants 'dangling like chandelier crystals' from a pentagonally-spired design are a classic Scientology temple symbol an expert said today. "They represent Katie Holmes' tears during her five year mar...

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Funny story: Tom Cruise claims Aliens caused his wife to divorce him!

Tom Cruise claims Aliens caused his wife to divorce him!

Superstar actor and super Scientologist, Tom Cruise, has claimed that Aliens crept into his wifes head and convinced her to leave him and take his daughter, Suri, away too. These outrageous claims have been made while Tom was filming his latest spect...

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Funny story: Mission Impossible? Tom Cruise starts search for wife number 4

Mission Impossible? Tom Cruise starts search for wife number 4

Following the weekend announcement by Katie Holmes attorney that she has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, both the couple were busy making plans to get on with their life today. Tom has started he ball rolling for his fourth wife by placing an a...

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Funny story: Cern decide that the 'God' particle will be found by end of year

Cern decide that the 'God' particle will be found by end of year

'Scientists' from CERN have decided that they will have found proof of the so called 'God' particle by the end of the year. Just before the money pit closes for refurbishment. The Higgs boson, which has absolutely nothing to do with religion, was...

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Funny story: Economic About Turn

Economic About Turn

The economic downturn has heralded an unexpected upturn (aren't opposites fun!) in another equally important area of our community. Research from some overfunded government watchdog has shown air crashes (not involving birds or dudes with rocket...

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