Huntsville, AL An astronomer/scientist at the Space Science Lab, who has so far managed to remain anonymous, has admitted to accidentally destroying Pluto with a nuclear missile. "I meant to hit the zoom so I could get a closer look at this three-...
Science Town, USA Scientists were astonished when they revealed to the press their most recent scientific discovery. "Earth is actually an artificial satellite created by an alien culture and was used as a movie set in a D-movie eons ago" spoke th...
Washington - A new study by the Centers for Disease Control has found that the common "get well" card is the leading carrier of the deadly Ebola virus. The government health agency has issued emergency usage guidelines in response. "Your typical g...
Science Town, OZ Many people who state they wish they could return to yesterday or yesteryear were severely disappointed today when the results of the latest scientific studies were announced. "After much research, we have arrived at the conclusio...
Right after the release of the "Loch Ness" photos from a satellite the "Authorities" were quick to jump in with their own explanations and showed photographs that show that the creature or whatever in the water was a 1. faked photograph. When tha...
Paris (Roto Rooters) - The French government has provided 10M Euros (almost $14M U.S. dollars) to Aix-Marseille University Faculty of Sciences to conduct a study to determine why water is clear. An additional 7.5M Euros was granted to conduct a simil...
SAGINAW, Michigan - One of the most highly respected astrological observatories in the world has just made an unbelievable discovery. Scientists at The Galileo Galilei Astrological Observatory in Saginaw, Michigan report that they have located an...
VANCOUVER, CANUCKS -- Scientists have often speculated (i. e., theorized) as to what might lie within Mother Earth's "twilight zone," the space between her epidermis, or "upper crust," and her dermis, or "lower mantle." They once believed (i. e., hyp...
Albuquerque, NM - New Mexico's bighorn sheep will be outfitted with chic new collars, complete with miniature radio receivers in a desperate attempt to keep the endangered animals from becoming extinct. An "army" of scientific researchers, equipped w...
WAY DOWN UNDER -- It has humble origins. Found inside the intestines of a slaughtered sheep, in Western Australia, of all places, an ancient crystal known, among rock hounds, as a zircon, is the oldest piece of Earth on record. According to scient...
Dr. Phillip Rhodes apparently has made a breakthrough in body transfers or else he's having a joke on everyone, especially on his old comrades at the Think Tank. "Rhodes has always had this crush on sexy (30 years ago) Joey Heatherton and his goal...
MERRITT ISLAND, Florida - The Kennedy Space Center has just stated that The Hubble Space Telescope which is out in space has just made an interesting discovery regarding the moon. According to Virgo Coopercastle the official spokesperson for the K...
FRESNO, CALIFORNIA - 911 emergency phone lines across Central California were jammed early this morning. "People all are reporting the same thing," says June Blankenship, a 911 dispatcher. "There is a strange substance coming out of the sky in...
Scientists, among them John Holdren and Harold Keene, announced today that they now believe that the former planet Pluto is changing orbit. "We didn't want to panic anyone and we could have been wrong but the planet or former planet, Pluto is slig...
Jane Goodall, the primatologist celebrated for her meticulous studies of chimps in the wild has stated that she wants people to know before something could happen to her. "I know what happened to the leading male scientists and best brains of the...
A renowned agricultural scientist from Davis University issued a sobering warning to the world today. Crop scientist, Dr. Buford Bunnelkins, an expert on pretty much everything to do with growing stuff in California, says the "Bread Basket of t...
Washington, D.C. - In a groundbreaking study involving the National Institute of Health, some women are hearing unexpected results. A study financed by the National Organization for Marriage, with no bias at all, shows that women scientists would act...
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