Christmas is only a few short days away. People are scrambling around buying those last-second gifts for any loved one they worry might feel scorned if the pile of presents underneath the tree doesn’t feature a tag with their name on it hanging from...
US Presdient, Donald Trump, has tweeted his wish list for Santa Claus. The tweet, in full, reads: "Deere SATAN: I been the best Presdunt ever. I only want 3 things this ear: 1. To be as TALL as leaking James Comey 2. As SEXY and H...
It's cold INSIDE, too, in many quarters for poor Santa, since some MeToo-ers have declared the song suggestive and deserving of being banned from the airwaves. Many of those who sing it are being relegated to the doghouse. But Santa is defiant, st...
Geoff Baffle, 47, of Coventry, has begun a campaign to eliminate Muslims from his town. The campaign so far has 3,000 followers, but councillors have so far ignored him. Baffle protests that Muslims dress in a strange manner and often try to attra...
A man has been accused of what amounts to cruelty to children, after he informed his young son that there was no such person as Santa Claus. Dave Benson, 31, from Cleveland, Ohio - which, being both 220 miles in length, and 220 miles wide, should...
F.B.I. Headquarters - Children around the Earth will be disappointed to learn that Santa has converted to Islam and will not be visiting this year. In fact he is being held by the F.B.I., according to our source, agent Smith, on complaints of animal...
January 12, 2016 Dear Santa, Hey Santa. Ever since I moved out of my parents' house in 1998 I noticed that you stopped coming to my place. I'm a 35 year old man, but this I don't understand! You came every year when I lived with mom and dad, but now that have my own apartment, you don't show. At one point, I almost stopped believing in you! I have been hoping that you are very busy and will ge...
Hillary Clinton hasn't been seen much since her humiliating loss to the Trumpster. Once by an adoring supporter hiking in the woods in Chappaqua, New York, where an endearing selfie was taken. Again, during her Capitol Hill "Fake News is an epidemic...
President Elect Donald Trump took a break from tweeting insults to finish his Christmas wish list. According to an unnamed White House source Mr. Trump's top item on his Christmas wish list was a giant wall. Supposedly the list began with "Item numb...
Trump Tower, New York, NY President-elect Donald Trump issued a stern warning to Santa Claus in some late-night tweets early this morning. "Just who IS this guy that everyone just lets into their homes every year? I never saw him! And don't give m...
Come Christmas Eve, many prominent Democrats will find themselves with empty stockings hanging from their fireplaces. The reason? President Elect Trump has declared the areas over their homes No-Fly Zones, so Santa and Rudolph cannot drop off gifts.
Dear Santa, You heartless bringer of pedophiliac child-molesting buggery with your 'chimney' indeed! Who are you trying to kid!? You are the wolf in the "Little Red Riding Hood" fable taking advantage of the young like your female counterpart of the 'Wicked Witch' of the "Sleeping Beauty" yarn. We are onto you dude! Why don't you take your mountains of mone...
North Pole, Arctic - Rudolph is not apologizing for his recent weekend Twitter rampage, stating that he will not be forced to drop presents off in Aleppo, Syria. Sighting claims that it is far too dangerous to go anywhere near the bombed-out city...
An inside source in Santa's workshop, namely Mrs. Claus, has revealed that Jolly Saint Nick will have the unenviable task of delivering tons of coal to Trump Towers this Christmas. Mrs. Claus, or Karma as she like to be called, talked to this repo...
As the holiday season approaches, Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reiley will, as usual, warn Americans about the "secular progressive" war on Christmas. O'Reiley, on his program "The O'Reiley Factor, has charged that the secular left wants to ignore...
NORTH POLE-Child icon and beloved gift-giver Kris Kringle, AKA Santa Claus, has recently been formally charged with elf slavery of the first degree after an anonymous tip lead the FBI to conduct a surprise SWAT investigation of his workshop. After br...
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico - Seven-year-old Johnny Dorrey and his little sister, Brook, were on spring break vacation with their parents, at a fancy resort in Cabo this week, when they thought they saw a familiar face, sitting under a beach umbrella, enjoying the sun and surf while relaxing with a big Pina Colada. The two children couldn't believe their eyes, and they plucked up the courage to go...
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