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Funny satire stories about Sales

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Funny story: Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

NOW WITH EVERYTHING DOWN IN PRICE, there has never been a better time to buy a loaf of bread. LOOK! 3 wholemeal loaves down from £2.55 to £1.99 - Yes one-nine-nine!and look at these stylish floured baps -Now just £2.50 a dozenor what about our designer hamburger buns - Only 65p a pack If you thought that you could never afford the luxury of a medium sliced white loaf then think again. Our st...

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Funny story: Wal Mart Reporting Lower Than Expected Sales

Wal Mart Reporting Lower Than Expected Sales

Wal Mart reported lower than expected sales for the Christmas season. They blame Democrats and 'political correctness' for all their woes. 'Economy, schmomony', said Walt Dimwitty, chief financial analyst for Wal Mart. 'The problem is with those d...

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Funny story: DFS To End Sale In Shock Announcement.

DFS To End Sale In Shock Announcement.

DFS have today revealed that their sale is going to end in a surprise announcement. The sale, which has been running for the last 63 years and has made the company famous for it's TV commercials, has become a British institution. Pablo Von Maus...

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Funny story: Wii Jog Slow Sales

Wii Jog Slow Sales

Nintendo have followed their customers desires for more keep fit applications for the Wii. This time they've come up with a great new idea called Wii Jog. This is a totally new concept to their average Wii user that missed out on the jogging from Wii...

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Funny story: Tomato Sales Ripe With Success

Tomato Sales Ripe With Success

Camden NJ: Sam Smith Jr. narrowly escaped from his house, only moments before it collapsed due to structure overload. No one was reported injured. Since being downsized from his job at the Campbell's Tomato Soup Factory Sam has had lots of free ti...

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Funny story: Telemarketers in Gordon Brown's sights

Telemarketers in Gordon Brown's sights

United Kingdom Prime Minister Gordon Brown declared today that the biggest threats to humanity in the context of the modern world were not swine flu or Somali pirates but pesty telemarketers ringing people at inappropriate times. Brown believes t...

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Funny story: Flyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!

Flyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!

WallyMart has announced that their "natural lambskin" condoms are being rolled back not only for a lower price but for a snugger, tighter fit. "And", added the retail giant, "these boxes are labeled by code and not by size so even your cashier wo...

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Funny story: Military Bake Sale a Success!

Military Bake Sale a Success!

Washington D.C.-The eternal debate over guns or butter took a unexpected twist today, dashing the hopes of the butter-minded. The Pentagon's efforts to raise money by holding a bake sale has produced amazing results! At the end of a three day effort...

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Funny story: Christmas Sales Going Well, Say Experts

Christmas Sales Going Well, Say Experts

Sales of unwanted trash in UK stores are doing well, say experts, due principally to the Credit Crunch, the inability of some shops to carry on trading, and the fact that some Britons are just so fucking greedy, they will buy ANYTHING, so long as it'...

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Funny story: Woolworths Shares Soar As Clearance Sale Announced

Woolworths Shares Soar As Clearance Sale Announced

Shares in Britain's oldest retail department store, Woolworths, soared today as it was announced that the company would hold a massive 90% off sale starting Thursday in all its 815 outlets nationwide. Woolies, as it is known by your mum, went into...

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Funny story: Salesman of the Year

Salesman of the Year

New York NY, June 2008: All of Madison Avenue was saddened to learn that Filbert "Flim" Flam had passed away at 93 years of age. His friends and acquaintances remembered Flim as Time Magazine's choice for Salesman of the Year in 2002.

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Funny story: DFS Have Decided NOT to Have a Sale this year!

DFS Have Decided NOT to Have a Sale this year!

SOFA, SO GOOD! - UK furniture giant, DFS (Dismal Furnishing Sales) have wisely decided not to hold a sale for this year and possibly the foreseeable future. Following an audit by their Financial Consultants, Snatchit...

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Funny story: From the Archives - Sales and Wants - January 1986

From the Archives - Sales and Wants - January 1986

Wanted - 1 Clothes Peg. No questions asked.

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Funny story: Courtney Love holds unltimate Garage Band sale

Courtney Love holds unltimate Garage Band sale

Seattle, Washington - Courtney Love, widow of the late rock legend, Kurt Cobain, is now selling his stuff to a private collector, after changing her mind about auctioning it off for charity. Cobain and his Seattle based band, Nirvana, single-handedly...

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Funny story: Mattress Sales Rise Due to Growing Distrust in Future

Mattress Sales Rise Due to Growing Distrust in Future

As a result of the public's growing distrust in the future of social security, the world's financial markets and America's imminent bankruptcy, due to the Bush administration's overzealous war spending, mattress sales are reportedly s...

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Funny story: Amazing New GM Alternative Fuel Car!

Amazing New GM Alternative Fuel Car!

DETROIT (AP) General Motors announced a stunning new automobile that is bound to revive the fortunes of the recently troubled automaker. "After several quarters of lackluster sales, we think we have a breakthrough new car that will revolutioniz...

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Funny story: SUV Owners Form Suicide Club as Gas Prices Rise

SUV Owners Form Suicide Club as Gas Prices Rise

Detroit (AP)--Sales of American SUVs plunged in September as spiking gas prices pushed many consumers to buy more fuel-efficient foreign vehicles. Yet most SUV owners are now stuck with their unwanted and unpaid-for vehicles, and have formed a nation...

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