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Funny satire stories about Ron Paul

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Funny story: Ron Paul said to be victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion!

Ron Paul said to be victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion!

DALLAS, TX (ABSNN)-Ron Paul, Texas Congressman and Republican Presidential also-ran, burst into flames this morning while awaiting an interview with Today's Matt Lauer. His body was completely consumed while sitting in a make-up chair prior to the 9...

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Funny story: Ron Paul Vows To Do Away With Those Invasive TSA Airport "Pat Downs" Or As He Prefers To Call Them "Feel Ups"

Ron Paul Vows To Do Away With Those Invasive TSA Airport "Pat Downs" Or As He Prefers To Call Them "Feel Ups"

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul was speaking to a crowd that had gathered at Shreveport's General Stonewall Jackson High School. He told the crowd estimated by Jo Jo Spamaficki, owner of Spamaficki's Hardware Store, to...

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Funny story: The Top Ten Political Etch A Sketch Sayings of The Month

The Top Ten Political Etch A Sketch Sayings of The Month

Ever since Mitt Romney spokesperson Eric "The Red" Fehrnstrom made his Etch A Sketch remark at a political campaign rally at a Pizza Gal Restaurant parking lot in Missoula, Montana, the name of the toy has been used more times than the words "Where's the clicker?" The following list was compiled by the verbiage gathering agency known as Did You Hear That, Inc. which is based in Kalamazoo, Michi...

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Funny story: Ron Paul Agrees To Appear With Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev In An Episode of The Vampire Diaries

Ron Paul Agrees To Appear With Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev In An Episode of The Vampire Diaries

BURBANK - GOP presidential hopeful Ron Paul made an appearance on Jay Leno's Tonight Show and the Texan made some interesting comments. The 76-year-old congressman informed Leno that he plans to stay in the GOP political presidential race to the v...

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Funny story: Ron Paul Arrested Outside Of Ross Perot's Home For Stalking

Ron Paul Arrested Outside Of Ross Perot's Home For Stalking

DALLAS -Throughout Ron Paul's campaign, there have been comparisons made to Ross Perot's prior attempts at the presidency. The extent of this obsession was uncovered late Sunday night when Ron Paul was arrested outside of Ross Perot's Dallas home.

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Funny story: Ron Paul's Top Ten Marijuana Slip-Ups!

Ron Paul's Top Ten Marijuana Slip-Ups!

The top ten marijuana slip-ups of Ron Paul during race for presidency! 10. It's all over here. We came in turd. Let's light...pack up and let's blow this joint! 9. My glaucoma is acting up again. Everyone here looks strange. 8. So we lost another state? Who really gives a shit? 7. Forget this Primary. Show me the Prime. 6. Are you against this too, Santorum? Ever have any fun?...

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Funny story: The Year of the Crafty Beggar

The Year of the Crafty Beggar

Well people 2011 is well and truly gone. We're finally free of a totally screwed up year of earthquakes, tsunamis, giant gyrations on the stock market and the usual Dr. Evil buggery from both the Climate believers and deniers. The Chinese say that 2012 is gonna be the year of the 'Dragon'. I Les Patterson Junior, number one son to the greatest Australian since Errol Flynn would disagree polite...

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Funny story: Ron Paul Clinches Tweaker and Junkie Vote, Stoner Vote Split

Ron Paul Clinches Tweaker and Junkie Vote, Stoner Vote Split

Recent polls show that Ron Paul out polls all other candidates in popularity among methamphetamine and heroin users. Ron Paul's popularity stems from his drug legalization platform. However his popularity is split with President Obama among marijuana...

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Funny story: Politician Could Have Used Local Man's Single, Meaningless Vote

Politician Could Have Used Local Man's Single, Meaningless Vote

(February 28, 2012)... Stunning news for a promising political campaign today, as a Presidential Candidate fell just short of victory, and lost a statewide primary by a single vote. After hours of statistical analysis and sociological speculation, t...

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Funny story: Newt Gingrich: New Affair

Newt Gingrich: New Affair

Phoenix, Arizona- Local residents spotted GOP Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich courting Ron Paul's wife, Carol, at an upscale restaurant in Phoenix this past Friday evening. Given Newt's past marital problems, this will likely not bode well for h...

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Funny story: Prohibition Of Sugar Beginning January 1st, 2013 - Stay Puft Marshmallow Man In Sugar Induced Coma

Prohibition Of Sugar Beginning January 1st, 2013 - Stay Puft Marshmallow Man In Sugar Induced Coma

Washington DC: President Obama has just signed America's new prohibition bill into law. This law is similar to the 1920s and 1930s alcohol prohibition that restricted and set down the rules for enforcing the ban on alcohol, as well as defining the ty...

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Funny story: Political Facebook - Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, & John Boehner

Political Facebook - Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, & John Boehner

Political Facebook Ron Paul: Okay Mitt, so when are you and Captain Kangaroo Gingrich gonna come on down to Texas and take me up on my offer of that 25-mile bike ride? 9:03 a.m. Mitt Romney: Ron, I have no plans of doing such a thing. And besides I do not even own a bike. 9:07 a.m. Ron Paul: That's not a problem Mitty old boy. You can use my wife's bike. It's pink but hell, I'm pretty...

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Funny story: Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race

Sexipedia's Sexual Analysis of South Carolina GOP Race

Sexipedia, the Internet Sexual Proclivity site, has provided a unique analysis of yesterday's South Carolina GOP Presidential race. Through its exit poll analysis, Sexipedia researchers claim that they have dissected South Carolinians' presidential preferences (1= most preferred; 4= least preferred) based upon their rather diverse sexual proclivities. Those who enjoy carnal relations with firs...

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Funny story: Political Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul

Political Facebook - Mitt Romney and Ron Paul

Political Facebook Mitt Romney: Hi Ron, well it's been quite a week huh? With Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry dropping out that now leaves only four of us in the GOP presidential race. 2:11 p.m. Ron Paul: Yes it does Mitt old boy. But I really have a feeling that old slick Rick Santorum will be dropping out pretty soon. 2:16 p.m. Mitt Romney: What makes you say that? 2:21 p.m. Ron Paul:...

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Funny story: Ron Paul Accuses Gingrich Of Squeezing Off A Battery Of Popcorn Farts During Debate

Ron Paul Accuses Gingrich Of Squeezing Off A Battery Of Popcorn Farts During Debate

BILLINGSGATE POST - During Thursday's GOP debate millions of viewers were wondering why Congressman Ron Paul's answers were so incoherent. Inexplicably, the usually laconic Texas Congressman began to babble like a demented chipmunk when asked if he...

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Funny story: It's Official: Romney a Robot

It's Official: Romney a Robot

Sources within Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's campaign today acknowledged what most Americans have long believed: Romney is a robot. When asked to comment on the report at a Tallahassee, Florida, Jiffy Lube where his car was inex...

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Funny story: Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry

Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Rick I am going to have to ask you to please refrain from mentioning my two ex-wives and the fact that I dumped them. My present wife Callista is upset and she is starting to get a little bit insecure. 11:20 a.m. Rick Perry: I'm sorry Newt, I do recall your first wife and your second wife but I cannot recall your third wife. 11:24 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Lo...

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