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Funny satire stories about Retail

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Funny story: Snow Hits Retailers At Peak Season

Snow Hits Retailers At Peak Season

Retailers were bemoaning the weather yesterday, as once again Britain ground to a halt in freezing conditions. As airports closed and trains stopped running, shops were looking emptier than is usual at this time of year. The lack of customers l...

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Funny story: Mad cows stampede through feed store on Black Friday

Mad cows stampede through feed store on Black Friday

WISCONSIN-- Employees at the BarnMart in Milwaukee braced themselves Friday morning for the yearly onslaught of cattle looking for the best deals on feed. A herd of heifers, bulls, and calves were lined up around the block in the wee hours waiting f...

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Funny story: In-Store Christmas Music Causes "Smack In The Mouth" Syndrome

In-Store Christmas Music Causes "Smack In The Mouth" Syndrome

Some 73 per cent of shoppers would rather shops waited until December before playing Christmas music. A survey of more than 2,000 shoppers also revealed that more than 60 per cent were not prompted to start their Christmas shopping by Christmas tu...

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Funny story: Americans are angry at Wal-Kart

Americans are angry at Wal-Kart

American workers explore the relationship between U.S. job losses and Wal-Kart's monopoly over the retail business in America. Wal-Kart began as a small retail operation in Vancouver, Canada. An over excess of wealth in Wal-Kart has degraded the...

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Funny story: Francophobe Hails Champs Elysees Retail Plans

Francophobe Hails Champs Elysees Retail Plans

A top Francophobe is planning to bring a swish Paris shopping street down a peg or two. UK retail magnate, Mick "Stack 'Em Up" Envelope, has welcomed the news that low-ticket clothing shop H&M has been given permission to open a store on the C...

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Funny story: Fashion House Releases Clothing Line for Disabled Individuals

Fashion House Releases Clothing Line for Disabled Individuals

Minnesota, MN - In response to a $100,000k+ fine imposed on the chain for discriminating against a differently-abled individual at their Mall of America branch, a US fashion chain has dedicated an entire line of clothing for those suffering with disa...

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Funny story: Sainsburys increase prices by only 2%

Sainsburys increase prices by only 2%

Announcing 200 first quarter profits of Ā£142 billion + WAT (Welsh Added Tax), supermarket giant Sainsburys claim they have achieved this profit despite having increased food prices by only 2% during the period.

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Funny story: Sam's Club Adds Body Cavity Searches to Security Routine

Sam's Club Adds Body Cavity Searches to Security Routine

Sam's Wholesale Club, the big box retail spin off of Walmart, has long been known for their security at the exit doors. Customers are required to provide their receipt, birth certificate, membership card, two forms of credit, and bra size before...

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Funny story: New Sex Toy Set To Take UK BY Storm

New Sex Toy Set To Take UK BY Storm

Sex Shop chain, Anne Summers, has today revealed what it hopes will be its new best seller.

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Funny story: Middle Eastern Retail Franchise Opportunities

Middle Eastern Retail Franchise Opportunities

Expressions of interest are currently being solicited from Arabic speaking persons to take up a franchise for our range of our distinctive and increasingly fashionable ready-to-wear, one-size-fits-all products.

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Funny story: Every Little Helps: Retail Giant takes on Sex Sector

Every Little Helps: Retail Giant takes on Sex Sector

It looks like the gloves will soon be off in the world of shopping for sex as retail giant Tescoses is set to take on filthy dirty old hoor Anne Summers.

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Funny story: Man Who Hates Football Suddenly Likes Football, Actually

Man Who Hates Football Suddenly Likes Football, Actually

Robert Bolton, an IT sales executive, credit control assistant or retail analyst from somewhere like Chester or Chesterfield announced today that he doesn't hate football, he likes it, actually.

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Funny story: Eating out....With Phrank Phraser

Eating out....With Phrank Phraser

Standing impressively in a car park on a modern retail park, The Snack Attack Eat nā€™ Go had our mouths watering the moment we arrived. The menu ā€“ although not extensive ā€“ was adequate enough to suit the tastes of even the most picky eaters.

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