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Funny satire stories about Red Sox Nation

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Funny story: 162 Chances Exceeds Both Reach and Grasp of Red Sox

162 Chances Exceeds Both Reach and Grasp of Red Sox

The Boston Red Sox have a new campaign to win back fans. They are insisting they have 162 chances to redeem themselves. Cats only have nine lives, but the Red Sox are defying the odds-makers from Las Vegas. They could win 162 games, though base...

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Funny story: Downtown Fenway Park's New Season Rivals PBS Masterpiece Classic

Downtown Fenway Park's New Season Rivals PBS Masterpiece Classic

Who would have guessed that the Boston Red Sox and Fenway Park had more soapsuds than Downton Abbey? In fact, part owner Tom Werner had marketing studies done that told him he needed to elevate the sex appeal of his players and change the entire p...

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Funny story: Mother of Mercy, Can This Be the End of Bobby Valentine?

Mother of Mercy, Can This Be the End of Bobby Valentine?

The operative word yesterday about the demise of Bobby Valentine was "fired." We began to think this was not exactly the correct word, or perhaps it was an inexact word. After a complimentary breakfast (with brown sugar, we presume), Bobby was sh...

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Funny story: The Mystery of Jacoby Ellsbury, Drood

The Mystery of Jacoby Ellsbury, Drood

Like an unfinished Charles Dickens novel, the life of the Red Sox centerfielder has taken on caricature and hyperbole during the 2012 season. With a few games left in the season, Ellsbury was yanked from the lineup for several games. No one was ta...

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Funny story: Boston Red Sox Magic Number is 90

Boston Red Sox Magic Number is 90

Those cockeyed optimists have now celebrated that the Red Sox losing season has protected their baseball draft choice. You have to be among the worst in the sport to achieve this dubious honor. The Red Sox have lost 90 games in 2012 are can still...

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Funny story: 2012 Red Sox: When Spellchecker Was No Help

2012 Red Sox: When Spellchecker Was No Help

What a season for the Red Sox. The manager in his final series of the season posted a lineup in which spelling mistakes of his starters proved how the team has gone in the direction of apathetic nobodies. We spent a hard year learning to spell som...

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Funny story: Making Senses of the Red Sox

Making Senses of the Red Sox

Since John Henry relies so heavily on the statistical deviations of metrics and Celsius fan Bill James, we have been unable to make senses of the Red Sox. Senses are for fans, not insider experts. However, when your three-way ANOVA (analysis of va...

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Funny story: Red Sox Season Unofficially Over Yesterday

Red Sox Season Unofficially Over Yesterday

The Red Sox became officially eliminated yesterday from winning the pennant. They can win every game every day for the rest of the season-and Bobby Valentine will still be fired. This is news to players now on a new team in Los Angeles. It looked...

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Funny story: For Sale: the Boston Red Sox Including Fenway Park

For Sale: the Boston Red Sox Including Fenway Park

A fire sale may be occurring at Fenway Park. We may want to keep an eye on these owners who may torch the place for the insurance money. Rumors are swirling that the ownership want to dump the Sox team that is now in last place and looks to be in...

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Funny story: Bobby V Sets Record with Six Ejections in Season

Bobby V Sets Record with Six Ejections in Season

Bobby Valentine has set a new record for ejections from a regular season game in Boston Red Sox history. We doubt he will set the mark in post-season games. Six is now the new high-water mark for a Red Sox manager. That seems a little low-espec...

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Funny story: Wizard of Oz Night at Fenway Park

Wizard of Oz Night at Fenway Park

In a desperate effort to keep their "sell out" streak going at Fenway Park, Red Sox ownership has authorized a special Wizard of Oz night for fans. To keep the streak alive as the team comes under attack from flying monkeys and belligerent talking...

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Funny story: MLB Suspects Watergate Leaks in Boston Pipeline

MLB Suspects Watergate Leaks in Boston Pipeline

Calling the Plumbers! The Red Sox waiver wire sprung a leak in August. And now MLB wants to order a sump pump to dredge out the Sox front office. Someone not named Gordon Liddy may be responsible. August in Boston featured more leaks than t...

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Funny story: Golden Days for the Red Sox Go Bust

Golden Days for the Red Sox Go Bust

Bobby Valentine has become the new alchemy standard of baseball managers in a field of semi-precious gold nuggets. Alchemy is not fool's gold, but is a loose science that comes up with real gold through artificial chemistry. Those who spent liv...

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Funny story: Bobby Valentine Harpoons the White Whale at Last

Bobby Valentine Harpoons the White Whale at Last

Red Sox now approach Circle Nine of Hell. Are we there yet? When Dante discussed his ideas about Hell in the Inferno, Circle 9 was a fairly loathsome place. However, it now appears to be an alley near Fenway Park. In the deepest pit, wayfare...

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Funny story: Forbes Magazine Finds Theo Epstein Guilty as Charged

Forbes Magazine Finds Theo Epstein Guilty as Charged

Forbes Magazine only deals with sports business when the price exceeds $250,000,000.00. Otherwise, it is a true condescending reach downward to the sporting life where penny stock brokers live and die. The Red Sox recent budget cutting has caught...

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Funny story: Red Sox Set in the West

Red Sox Set in the West

Cue the final curtain. The end is not near; it happened last night. The undertaker measured the Red Sox for a shroud. The Red Sox lost 20-2. No, that's the score, not the year. The Asteroid hit the Red Sox while playing the metric money...

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Funny story: Dustin Pedroia: Red Sox Lap Dog Bites Back

Dustin Pedroia: Red Sox Lap Dog Bites Back

Dustin Pedroia has given an interview to end the August swoon with an explanation of the bad season by all. To say it is revisionist history, or spin, may be a stumbling attempt to take Dustin off the proverbial hook. Dustin offers that he left th...

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