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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 21st August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 21st August 2012

Brazil international Kaka, 30, has been offered to Manchester United on a season-long loan as Real Madrid prepare for the arrival of Luka Modric. (Daily Mail) Man United are now the first go to club when your offloading a player aged 29 or over. Zenit St Petersburg have made a fresh approach to permanently sign Andrey Arshavin, with Arsenal seeking £10m for the 31-year-old forward. (The Time...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 9th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 9th July 2012

Talksport Alan Pardew insists he is doing everything he can to keep striker Demba Ba, 27, at Newcastle I find handcuffs work best. Daily Mail Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey, 21, admits he and his team-mates have no idea how the situation with striker Robin van Persie will pan out. Have you thought about seeing a clairvoyant? Liverpool are understood to have had a bid rejected for 25-yea...

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Funny story: Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test

Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test

Real Madrid and Portugal talisman Cristiano Ronaldo faces two years on the sidelines after falling foul of UEFA's new smug testing policy. This remarkable development is sure to take the shine off his night of glory after guiding his team to a 1-0...

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Funny story: Spain to raise some money by selling footballers

Spain to raise some money by selling footballers

The two largest football teams in Spain have been heavily funded by contributions from the Spanish government. With Spain's economy now in dire straits, with a need to find two billion Euros, it has been determined to reclaim the assets that they hel...

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Funny story: "Die Lederhosen" are now "The Special One's"

"Die Lederhosen" are now "The Special One's"

Last night BMW (Bavarian Master Works) proved that there are more "Special Ones" than generally is believed (Especially "The Special One" himself) after donning their "Lederhosen", spanking their knees and spanking the bums of Ronaldo & Co. Jo...

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Funny story: World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

It's been acknowledged as the most difficult question in modern football - the sheer genius of the diminutive Argentinian, or the instinctive athletic artistry of the Portuguese? Who is the world's best footballer? The two went head to head last n...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: Mourinho to return to Premier League at end of season - but with who?

Transfer Window: Mourinho to return to Premier League at end of season - but with who?

Premier League chairman were measuring their linen baskets and coaches looking over their shoulders last night upon the news that 'special one' Jose Mourinho wants to leave Real Madrid and return to the Premier League at the end of the season - but t...

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Funny story: Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in Spanish Copa Del Raya

Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in Spanish Copa Del Raya

The Spanish cup second leg between Real Madrid and Barcelona exploded last night when star players Christiano 'Winker' Ronaldo and Lionel 'Mini' Messi went head to head in a mud wrestling challenge after 62 minutes of the game. A highly volatile m...

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Funny story: Transfer Window: David Beckham extends LA Galaxy stay with new contract

Transfer Window: David Beckham extends LA Galaxy stay with new contract

David Beckham is to remain at LA Galaxy after signing a new two-year deal with the club. The former England captain, 36, had been linked with a move to Forest Green Rovers in the English non-league but decided to stay at the team he joined in 2007...

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Funny story: Mourinho Goes Home And Kicks The Cat Up The Arse

Mourinho Goes Home And Kicks The Cat Up The Arse

Breaking news suggests that a Real Madrid source last night revealed to Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola, that Real boss Jose Mourinho went home after last night's match at the Bernabeu and kicked the family cat up the arse in frustration. Mourinho's...

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Funny story: Ronaldo Better Than Messi - So Says Mourinho

Ronaldo Better Than Messi - So Says Mourinho

Despite his side going out of the Champions League semi final at the hands of a Lionel Messi inspired Barelona side, Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho declared his temperamental forward Christiano Ronaldo to be "the complete 21st century player and s...

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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo Magnanimous In Defeat

Cristiano Ronaldo Magnanimous In Defeat

Following Real Madrid's elimination from the Champions League at the hands of bitter rivals Barcelona, following a 0-2 in the Bernabeu and a 1-1 second leg at the Nou Camp, Real's Cristiano Ronaldo left sports reporters purring in a post match press...

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Funny story: Lionel Messi Anagram Found!

Lionel Messi Anagram Found!

Barcelona's Lionel Messi scored two late goals as his team eventually wore down the resistance of fellow Spaniards Real Madrid in their Champions League semi-final first leg last night. Messi was the difference between the two sides in a bad-tempe...

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Funny story: Mourinho Slams Everybody In The World - Even Princess Diana

Mourinho Slams Everybody In The World - Even Princess Diana

According to sources, beleaguered Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho has locked himself away in a vault at Madrid's Museo Del Prado, armed with a laptop computer and a Vuiton suitcase full of vitriol. The 'Special One' is apparently enjoying a psychot...

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Funny story: Pierluigi Collina slams The Special One's conspiracy rant

Pierluigi Collina slams The Special One's conspiracy rant

Rome - The iconic UEFA ex-referee who once admitted 'I Love This Hell' has rubbished José Mourinho's Barcelona FC tirade. "Someone give José a tin foil hat!" Collina told reporters from Corriere della Spoofiera. "He's still got that stab-in-the...

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Funny story: Messi Wants Move To Old Firm

Messi Wants Move To Old Firm

Hot on the heels of his stunning performance in the 2-0 defeat of Real Madrid at the Bernabeu, Lionel Messi has shocked the world of soccer by announcing that he would like to leave the mighty Bareclona and play for one of the Old Firm clubs. The...

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Funny story: Mourinho To Set Up Real Madrid v Schalke 'Alternative' Champions League Final

Mourinho To Set Up Real Madrid v Schalke 'Alternative' Champions League Final

If things don't go their way in next week's CL semi-final second leg ties, it is thought that Jose Mourinho will arrange for an alternative Champions League final tie, between Real Madrid and Schalke 04 at Bolton Wanderers' Reebok Stadium. It is b...

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