One of UK's largest supermarkets have decided to open their doors to a horde of rats! Instead of attempting to poison them, the supermarket feels rats are a perfect way of ridding the place of discarded food thrown away because the date of purchase h...
Mr. Dump was what we called the old coot. His name had meaning because the old guy operated a landfill right up the road from our house and rats ran all over the place. Now don't get me wrong, we didn't live in a ghetto but in a pretty nice part of the countryside. It sort of looked like a pastoral scene out of a poem by one of the cavalier poets or something right off Edward Scissorhands, that we...
Mirroring the Trump presidency, the population of rats at Trump Tower has exploded in recent weeks after the unusually warm weather this winter. One tenant spoke to this reporter anonymously as she feared retaliation from Donald Trump and his army...
After Joe Biden's numbers against the GOP frontrunners shocked many for a man who has yet to make a speech, many thought the Democratic party would be satisfied. But to everyone's surprise in steps...er perhaps thrown in, a dead rat dubbed Ronald Rat...
Veteran salesman and champion failure Willy Loman broke the world record in the high-speed long distance mouth marathon. From the start he was out the gate and into the fray, hard-knocking, pavement-pounding all the way to making marketing histor...
Middleton, Texas: Officers in West Texas who answered calls about a huge rat chasing people around the neighborhood at night are out watching to see if it shows up again. "I don't care how big the rat is, this old shotgun will blow that sucker aw...
When a member of the United States Senate screamed her head off "I just got bit by a rat!" during a speech yesterday, it became obvious to all that the rat problem in Washington DC was totally out of control. Apparently, the Washington shutdown ha...
An unemployed rat has again caused damage in BBC Radio Gateshead's studio. DJ Ike Anspinnem was getting ready to play an old record by the BoomTown Rats when the jobless rat leapt on to the turn-table and hit the record with its front paws and hea...
Good ole' boy Lee Perkins, card carrying member of the NRA and secret cross dresser, claims he is sick and tired of folk telling him that mans best friend is a dog, despite he himself owning several well trained, obedient and loyal canines. "It is...
Scientists were quite elated recently with their earthshaking discovery. Spoof reporters, however, have gone behind the scenes to get all the details about the observed connection between tickling and rat laughter. Like the scientists, they used...
London - "They may be attracted to the pungent trail of Nick Clegg's er, aftershave," head of No 10 policy research admitted this morning, "you just can't compete with that sort of pong if you're a cat without balls." Reports that the neutered mog...
Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League. "Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwa...
NY, today: The Occupy NY movement is over as police and security guards cleared the rabble away because it was an eye-sore for the public and they didn't achieve anything anyway. Bankers, brokers and the mega-rich are happy to see those protesting...
Morris, a rat that lived in the sewers of London, made his way along the shit stained highway of the tunnel he called home. Today was an arduous journey created by the rain that was cascading down the drains at street level. Morris did not want to be late he saw his opportunity and leapt onto a small piece of wood that was rushing by in the murky torrent. With the dexterity of an Aussie surfer...
Washington, D.C - A local man, residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, has been accused of living in squalor by the city health department and given 30 days to clean up his residence or face condemnation proceedings. The allegations come amid telev...
London - (Sinking Ship News): Is the seat of government really overrun with vermin spoonfeeding yet more deception to a gullible British public? Today's arrival of a pest control operative saw Downing Street officials' relief at the prospect of tr...
Ever since the rat-catching cat Humphrey died it seems that rats have been creeping their way back into the Primeminister's residence at Nr 10. Under Tony Blairs regime many a rat was discovered (they shall remain nameless) and his successor, Gord...
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